Photo cred - Jeremy Gilbert
Everyone wants to be us, but you can always tell a non-Torontonian. They don't party like us, they don't drink like us, and they don't talk like us. So here's some key phrases, ones that only a true Toronto native would ever utter.
1. "What you saying tonight?"
Or, in regular world terms, what are you doing tonight?
2. "That's jokes."
3. "True." [Meaning, "Okay."]
This is confusing as all hell, but spend a few week in this city and you'll start doing it way too much too.
4. "Sorry, I'm gonna be late. The TTC's delayed."
Straight up, you probably say this every day.
5. "The 6"
6. "Thanks, it's vintage."
7. "Sure, the heat doesn't work at our place, but at least it's got really high ceilings!"
The Toronto trade-off.
8. "Who's down to split a cab?"
At approximately 4:30am, every Friday night.
9. "I know this really chill spot in the Junction."
There's a lot of chill spots in the Junction.
10. "I know this really chill spot in Etobicoke."
Just kidding. No one has ever said that.
11. "I got these cheap shades at Kensington."
This is actually the best place ever to get cheap shades.
Only dweebs call it "Toronto."
13. "Check those fucking brows"
People here are obsessed with eyebrows
14. "I'm just gonna run to Timmie's real quick."
All day, errday.
15. "I need to transfer at Bloor"
So does everyone else, don't feel special.
16. "I don't drive."
Why would anyone drive here?
17. "I'm hungry, wanna go to Ginger?"
Because no one outside of this city would ever eat there.
18. "Where's the nearest Beer Store?"
Liquor licensing laws in this province are dumb. Alternatively: "when does the Beer Store close?"
19. "I got really fucked up last night. I think I ended up doing karaoke somewhere on Bloor."
Avoid doing this at all costs.
20. "Nice bike, dude! How much did it cost?"
The attractiveness of your bike is directly related to the expensiveness of your bike.
21. "I'm going to Bistro 422, but I'll see you in an hour."
The next time you see this person they will have a blood-alcohol level of .24.
22. "I can't go out tonight dude. I went out in Yorkville last night."
And now you're broke.
23. "Sorry, I can't make it, I have a really busy week."
People here have lots of busy weeks. Why won't anyone hang out with me?
24. "We're going to Montreal for the weekend!"
Just a quick, six hour bus ride away!
25. "I can't think of a place to eat, why don't we just go to Spring Rolls?"
This is why you always plan ahead.