Photo cred - torontostreetfashion
People from Toronto are so pretentious
-Some random Montrealer
"They're are like 'we speak English'".
It’s true we do speak English and it’s true we are pretentious, or at the very least 1 in 2 Torontonians are.
Here is a list of bonafide coined phrases that only the truest of Torontonian's would say.
1. “I’m from Torono”
That’s how you say it people. Not “trawna” not “toronTO” it’s “Torono”.
2. “Of course I’ve been to the CN tower...do I look like a tourist?!”
If I look like a tourist I might as well just kill myself.
3. “Sitting is the new smoking”
Well aren’t you just the trendiest thing that ever hit Toronto.
4. “I love the jays!!!”
Clip to this girl at the game taking selfies on repeat with her idiot boyfriend.
5. “No I don’t have change I only have debit”
Says to the homeless guy covered in tattoos at Queen and Bathurst. Should of saved that tattoo money dumbass.
6. “I only drink Jimmy’s coffee”
Because it’s the best.
7. “Let’s go to Wonderland! Does anybody drive a car?”
No one drives a car.
8. “Where’s the closest Walmart?”
No seriously, I’d like to know.
9. “Does this come in skinny hot bitch size?”
So many skinny hot bitches live here.
10. “Oh there is a TTC delay”
Everyday. Every hour. Every minute.
11. “That TTC driver just gave me the stank eye”
A soulless breed.
12. “Have we met before?” “No we were matched on tinder and then never talked”
13. “How did you meet him?” “Mutual friends”
In Toronto mutual friends is code for we met on the internet.
14. “Wow look at all the stars!” (in a location outside the city)
Two seconds later is distracted by a barrage of text messages and/or emails.
15. “Wanna go for ramen?”
Goes to Kinton Ramen.
16. “Let’s go get fancy macaroons and fine chocolates from the Loblaws at Maple Leaf Gardens”
Because it’s amazing and because we can.
17. “Should we streetcar?”
Nods reluctantly, silently sheds a tear, then scrounges purse for spare change.
18. “Let’s go to the drake”
People suggest going to the drake a lot.
19. “We should see lot’s of movies at TIFF this year!”
Translation: let’s plan to see a million different movies and then end up maybe going to see one.
20. “Let’s hang out in Yorkville and try to meet rich guys”
Ends up meeting a guy named Steve, whose wandered over from Yonge & Bloor, they end up at Jack Astors.
21. “I knocked an old man out of my way with my purse power walking north on yonge street I’m a terrible person”
You are a terrible person.
22. “I just got a membership at the AGO!”
Tries to force everyone they know to go to the AGO with them.
23. “I just got back from Vancouver” “I’m sorry you had to see that”
Vancouver isn’t a real city.
24. “Where is North York?” “No clue”
Torontonians are not self-involved, self-centred, and self-important at all. Not at all…
25. “Let’s go to the Bata Shoe Museum” “Let’s not”
Who goes here?! WHO GOES HERE?!
26. “I feel like fish tacos”
Overheard on any given street corner at lunch hour.
27. “Have you been to that new ________”
Restaurant, bar, pop-up clothing sale, what have you. Torontonians are all about new things.
28. “What’s your opinion on Rob Ford?”
One Torontonian didn’t say to the other Torontonian.
29. “Omg that yoga teacher I slept with and the guy I hooked up with at the bovine sex club are on the same street corner”
This whole running into everyone everywhere needs to stop happening.
30. “That women just fell off her bike!”
Translation: let’s watch and stare and do anything to help her.