King West is often denounced as the most pretentious of Toronto's downtown neighbourhoods, characterized as the land of egos, extravagance and expensive drinks. Sure Liberty Village may be a little bit yuppy and City Place the hookup capital of Toronto, but people hear King West, immediately scrunch up their nose in detest and assume its residents are either investment bankers, the kids of investment bankers still living off of mommy and daddy's credit card, or just insane humans who want to dedicate a monthly mortgage to living in a 750-sq foot one-bedroom apartment.
If you're currently spending $100 on two bags of groceries and falling asleep nightly to the sweet sounds of club beats and street altercations, this ones for you.
1. You spend 75% of your monthly income on rent.
2. Never mind that you could definitely raise a child on what you spend on parking.
3. Everyone who lives in your building is incredibly fit and somehow manages to look runway-ready and immaculate at 8am.
Photo cred - MoviePilot
4. You think Liberty Village seems, "So far West" and Distillery District is, "Really far East."
5. Speaking of Liberty Village, you have an indescribable hatred for people from Liberty Village as they take up all the room on the King Streetcar before it reaches you.
6. You know if you try to take the King Streetcar East between 8:00am and 9:30am, you're walking.
7. You fall asleep nightly to the quiet lullabies of street traffic, club beats, intoxicated humans screaming EVERYTHING, and after-party noise from your neighbours.
8. You own a Costco-sized bulk pack of earplugs to deal with the city noise.
Photo cred - Buzzfeed
9. You have to take at least half an hour to get ready before leaving your apartment because you are bound to run into someone you know in the area.
10. The bouncer at 2Cats knows you by name but you have no recollection of ever actually going there.
11. The bouncer at the Underground Garage always smiles and nods knowingly at you and you 're not quite sure why.
12. The cashier at the King and Spadina LCBO knows you by name but you definitely know why.
13. You've unwittingly been stuck riding an elevator with someone you've had a one-night stand with.
Photo cred - Dances With Dissonance
14. You constantly have 9 leftover bottles of wine on your counter from your place always being used as the pre-drink spot since it's, "So central."
15. You only go out in your own area on weekdays.
16. Because weekends on King Street look like this:
17. If sober on a Saturday, you will go out of your way to walk home along Wellington or Adelaide to avoid the Spadina-to-Bathurst stretch of frat-house intoxicated human beings.
18. You know the Loblaws at Queen and Portland so well you've learned to perfect the self-serve check-out without wanting to commit murder.
Photo cred - Hexjam
19. You also know to avoid that Loblaws on a Sunday afternoon unless you want to participate in a human game of bumper cars.
20. You always spend a minimum of $100 on groceries and seemingly only ever leave with hummus, goldfish crackers and some avocados.
21. If you try and shop at discount grocery stores like No Frills, you lose the bright yellow bags before entering your building to avoid judgmental stares from your rich, Whole Food junky neighbours.
22. You make Bulk Barn your bitch on a weekly basis. So.much.quinoa.
23. You been hosed more than once at the Fresh & Wild at King and Spadina and think all their fruit should be grown in pots of PURE GOLD and blessed by Tibetan Monks for that price.
Photo cred - GIFGIFs
24. You have never gone to any of the restaurants between John Street and Blue Jays Way aka "The Tourist Trap."
25. Everyone in your building owns some version of a miniature dog.
26. When you have to tell people what area you live in you feel the need to overcompensate for its douchy reputation by regurgitating a long list of its more low-key spots like Jimmy's Coffee, Bar Wellington, Home of the Brave and Wilbur.
27. And if you stumble upon little-known drink specials in the area you feel you hold the secret key to the whole damn city.
28. But hey, 90% of you best friends probably live within a 10 minute commute from you.
Photo cred - Tumblr Astrology GIFs