33 Signs You're Unhealthily Obsessed With Lana Del Rey
You're losing your shit over High By The Beach.
Your summer just got way better because it was blessed by High By The Beach— Lana Del Rey's newest single for upcoming Honeymoon. It's one of her more poppy songs, definitely a lot more upbeat than recently released Honeymoon (a more typical melancholic Lana jam).
The theme of messed up relationships is still there— "Loving you is hard, being here is harder / I don't wanna do this anymore, it's so surreal." But it seems Lana is taking a tougher stance on the whole thing: "The truth is I never bought into your bullshit / Now you're just another one of my problems." Maybe she's had enough of the bad boys?
In ode to the queen of pouting, the angel of melancholia, the goddess herself, here are the 33 signs you are totally obsessed with her.
1. You just forced all of your coworkers/anyone in the vicinity to listen to High By The Beach.
2. Listening to Honeymoon was the best 6 minutes of your summer.
When she's chilling next to a highway, dirty feet kicked up, flower in her hair... how can one person be that alluring?
3. You went to see her at Molson Amphitheatre.
And took 64 snapchats.
4. Also, you knew every single word to every single song.
When she moaned to Serial Killer, you lost your shit.
5. You follow her mom, dad, and sister on Instagram.
Rob and Pat, adopt me???
6. Watching Tropico is a religious experience.
You have seen it at least 60 times and every time you are straight up mesmerized.
7. You wish you and your boyfriend were as cute as Lana and Barrie-James O'Neill.
Why did they have to break up, they were so cute in Summer Wine!
8. When people say Born To Die is their favorite song by her, you roll your eyes.
9. You follow at least five different Lana fan Instagram accounts.
In addition to her official one and the one for Honeymoon, of course.
10. Sometimes you quote Lana songs in real life.
Ugh, he is such a jerk but she still stays with him. — your friend.
This is what makes us girls. — you.
11. The Ride video makes you emotional.
Every. Single. Time.
12. You went into H&M more than normal when she was doing the campaign.
Just to see extra photos of her.
13. Also, her hair in Blue Velvet is magical.
14. You really wish Cola was made into a video.
15. Your ideal wedding dress is the one in Ultraviolence.
With that veil? Drool.
16. The tatted guy in Born To Die is your ideal man.
Yes, I'll take one of those please.
17. So is the older gentleman in Shades of Cool.
Especially with that blue streak in is hair... mmm.
18. You wish you could pull off a leather jacket on the beach.
19. Her and ASAP Rocky in National Anthem is everything.
Their make-believe children are absolutely adorable.
20. You get annoyed when anyone takes Fvcked My Way Up To The Top literally.
C'mon guys, Lana is way too classy for that.
21. You only learned about Jaime King through the Summertime Sadness video.
What's Hart of Dixie?
22. Your Facebook cover photo is some variation of Lana sitting on a throne.
23. Born to Die isn't your favorite video by her.
But you appreciate it because it's Lana in a nutshell.
24. You excessively salivate watching Blue Jeans.
How can one person be that classy in a one piece bathing suit, canoodling a tatted guy???
25. Video Games isn't your favorite DIY video she did.
Because there are so many other good ones like You Can Be The Boss, Mermaid Hotel, and Kinda Outta Luck.
26. Shades of Cool made you realize you could be attracted to rotating holograms.
27. You're sad that a lot of her old songs got leaked.
But you really couldn't imagine your life without them.
28. You've already pre-ordered Flip-Side.
29. You think Lana and her boyfriend Francesco are very cute together.
And you love all the dresses she wore in Italy last week.
30. You absolutely have no idea how someone can make smoking look so classy.
But Lana does.
31. Lana in shorts make you second guess your sexual orientation.
How she can go from '60s starlet to girl next door blows your mind.
32. You get annoyed when people dislike her for things that have nothing to do with her actual music.
The nose job? rich dad thing? Who cares?
33. Then again, you rarely argue with Lana haters.
Her music makes your insides swirl and that's all that matters.