Many of us love summer, but you must admit that it does have its negatives. Many of those negatives can be found on the TTC.
The TTC should, in theory, protect you from the heat. But when you rush down into a station hoping for the sweet relief of an air conditioned train and are instead met with a six minute wait in what feels like a sweltering jungle, you curse yourself for thinking you'd find your salvation. Here is a list of thoughts that probably crawl through your mind between June and September on public transit.
Why did I bother to shower before going out? I’ll be sweaty before the bus gets here.
If the St. Clair streetcar doesn’t arrive within three minutes, I will melt into a pile of goo like the Wicked Witch of the West.
This streetcar is filled with children who appear to have ADD.
Are they all from a day camp for kids who lack volume control?
Time to get on the subway. Hooray, air conditioning!
How did people survive before air conditioning?
I should have bought an iced coffee.
Or an iced cappuccino.
An iced something.
How can the St. George platform be hotter at 10 PM than it was at 2 PM?
Is it healthy for that guy to be sweating that much?
The next train's arrival time has said "2 minutes" for four minutes now.
Oh good, that agitated old woman is now yelling in some foreign language.
Wait, now it says the next train will arrive in "N/A". N/A?!
What is that smell?
I wonder how many people commit suicide here.
I probably shouldn't be thinking about that.
No seriously, what is that smell?
Finally! The subway's here.
Of course this subway’s AC isn’t working. Why would it be? It’s only 6000 degrees outside.
Hmm, not much room here. I don't think I can find a seat.
Oh, there's one! I just might be able to get to it.
I'll just knock down this old woman and step on that child's head and I'll be in my seat.
Ah, my own seat. Comfort.
Uh oh, is that sweaty guy going to sit next to me?
Yes. Yes he is.
So, what’s happening with that downtown relief line?
I hope that's just sweat.
Time to get up and...yep, I'm stuck to my seat.
There are 197 people on the 63 Ossington right now and they all have a temperate of 800 degrees.
I wish there were a drinking fountain on this bus.
Or a margarita bar.
I wonder how often humans spontaneously combust.
Okay, only one more transfer. This is the last leg of my arduous journey.
This is my stop, I'll get off here.
Nope, apparently, I won't, so says this throbbing mass of humanity in front of me that refuses to move.
Let me off this damn bus!
I can't remember the last time I saw somebody smile.
It would literally be faster to walk than to be on this King Streetcar.
Then again, if I tried to walk I might burst into flames in the sun.
I have taken on the smells of all my fellow riders.
I have never been more disgusted with myself.
How much does Car2Go cost?
How much does ZipCar cost?
How much would a taxi cost?
Is it possible to die from a smell?
I need to make friends with somebody who has a cottage.
I’m so hot I’d take off all my clothes right now if I weren’t afraid of catching diphtheria.
I’m buying a bike this weekend.