8 Types Of Bros You'll Hook Up With Your First Year At Ryerson
Because you'll know better by second year.
With your first year at Ryerson University comes many new experiences. From meeting new people to living on a campus in the middle of downtown Toronto to fighting an endless war with RAMSS, your experience at Ryerson will be a process of trial and error.
Such trial and error is also relevant when it comes to university hook ups. There will be good and there will most definitely be bad. If you are wondering what to expect, this one's for you. Here's eight guys you'll most likely sleep with during your freshman year at Ryerson.
1. Your Pitman or ILLC roommate/neighbour.
As much as you'd like to think this won't happen, it's unavoidable. Frosh week will start your Ryerson journey as a hazy mix of nonstop partying in residence. You hop around from dorm room to dorm room, but sometimes you won't make it back to your own - not because you actually want to sleep with your neighbour but because you're too tired/too drunk/too whatever to leave. You sleep with this guy out of drunken convenience. Word from the wise, you have to live beside this person for the next 8 months so make (or at least try to make) good choices.
Photo cred - Gurl
2. The RTS major.
The Ryerson Theatre School guy is basically the glue of your friend group. He holds the crew together with endless puns and countless jokes. He keeps you laughing from Sally Horsfall all the way to the Victoria Building. As an actor in the making, he's outgoing, quirky and just an all-around teddy bear, what's not to love? He's forever clowning around and there's something about it that has you intrigued. So why not see if there's something more to it? WRONG. There's definitely nothing else there, so save yourself from the subpar sex and just don't do it. Don't put a kink in your friend group just because you want to get kinky.
3. The Rams varsity athlete.
Due to popular belief and chick flicks, a varsity athlete may same like the prime candidate for a fling. After all, they're athletic, somewhat smart and pretty easy on the eyes - a girl doesn't need much else when it comes to casual relationships. But let's set the record straight, you are not Amanda Bynes and you are definitely not going to find a real connection with a Channing Tatum soccer playing look-a-like roaming the Mattamy. Athletes are typical bros - their talents include being dicks, ignoring you in social situations and playing emotional mind games. But if you like painful jackrabbit sex for a max of 10 minutes then hooking up with a varsity athlete is for you.
4. The tattooed bartender at the local bar.
He's five years older than you, has sleeves and is tall with a Ryan Gosling-esque vibe, in other words, you don't stand a chance. One look from across the bar and you basically melt into a puddle on the floor. There's something so mysterious about him, maybe it's the tattoos or his smouldering gaze, regardless you want to know more. You exchange maybe three words before he's asking what you're doing after the bar closes, and you will 100% be going back to his place. Out of everyone you will hook up with first year, the tatted bartender will be the best. But fair warning, after he rocks your world, returning to The Ram/Grace O'Malley's/The Maddy is no longer an option for you.
5. ANOTHER Rams varsity athlete.
Reread point 3 and don't make the same mistake again, although you probably will. You think it will be different because this guy plays hockey or *insert any sport here* but it's just going to be the exact same thing as the first athlete: not worth it.
6. The Undeclared major.
And at Ryerson, you're going to run into a lot of these! These are the guys with the jeans that are always a little too tight and are probably in any creative program with the word 'art' in it. They also usually do some form of extracurriculars, whether it's taking pictures for The Eyeopener or writing poems while sipping coffee at Balzacs. There's something about their edgy attitude and predominantly black attire that has you sexually curious. However, incessant pillow talks about random artsy stuff you could care less about, post below average sex, aren't your thing. Skip this guy, you can only have sex to Fall Out Boy so many times before you become a sad, broken record.
Photo cred - The Problem With Dating
7. The Ted Rogers entrepreneur.
First off, there are too many students enrolled at Ted Rogers School of Management for you to not sleep with at least one of them; it's bound to happen. But it could be a real hit or miss. Most of the BSM students are pretty cool people, but there are about 25% that already think they work on Wall Street. They're the obnoxious ones with slicked back hair and shiny dress shoes, the ones who believe they're the next Mark Zuckerberg but in reality are far from. This lapse in judgement to hook up with the faux entrepreneur is an inevitable step in every Ryerson female's freshman journey, you can always just pretend it didn't happen if that makes you feel better...
8. A random from U of T.
Yes, you have in fact just slept with the enemy. Relax, it's fine, kind of... You'll try to hide committing such a sin from all your friends, however, dirty laundry always gets aired out and at this point your's is in need of some serious fresh air... Regardless, it's good to take a break from the regular crop at Ryerson and try out someone new from one of the surrounding universities. Your fellow Ryerson peers won't let the fact that you're a traitor go anytime soon but hey, at least the sex was good!