Basic or not, your name can say a lot about the type of person you are. For example, every hypothetical douchebag out there is always referred to as Chad and every hypothetical princess is always Becky. Nobody has ever told a story about how nerdy Chad started a charity, and how shy Becky likes to stay in on Friday nights.
Sidenote: If your name is Becky or Chad you’re probably great, you just have a bad rep.
Before you start reading, I feel the need to establish that this article is a joke. No, not all Gregs are total divas, and not all Taylors love EDM. Regardless, before you DM me highlighting how offensive I have been, please just remember that I didn’t base my description on you, it was probably just based on some dude I worked with back when I was 14.
Anyways! Enjoy, and keep doing you.
Still talks about his high school football team even though he graduated 6 years ago.
Downloaded the entire discography of Wu-Tang Clan after hearing one song.
A true hero when it comes to being the last minute designated driver.
Always had a hard boiled egg for lunch in grade school.
Almost a little too perky for real life.
Your mom's favourite out of all of your friends.
Will watch romcoms with his mom if asked nicely.
Loves a good vodka cran, especially after 12 beers.
Has been talking to the same 3 Tinder girls for 6 months.
Tried being vegan for 2 weeks and failed miserably.
Your friend's (way hotter) older brother.
Has impressively good music taste and should always be in charge of the aux chord.
Everyone writes him off as a douche because his name is Chad.
Really liked the pizza Lunchable as a kid.
Googled you minutes after meeting you.
More willing to spend money on sneakers than tuition.
Still makes "blaze it" jokes when its 4:20.
Your friend's new boyfriend who drives a huge truck.
Takes his work as a club promoter VERY seriously.
Great at small talk, but will instantly get socially awkward when any conversation lasts longer than 5 minutes.
Pees in the shower at other people's houses.
Your dad thinks Dean is "absolutely hilarious".
Looked way better with a beard, but unfortunately shaved it.
The ex-boyfriend your parents still ask about.
The friend you always call to fix your internet/printer at 11 PM on a Sunday. Sorry Erik.
Get's more excited about a nice dog than the average person.
Probably the name of your dad's best friend.
Accidentally likes extremely old Instagram posts on a semi-regular basis.
Is no longer amused with how people pronounce his name wrong "as a joke".
Can be a bit of a diva.
Is the absolute worst at replying to text messages.
The guy who would paint his entire body for a school football game.
Has an iron liver, which sometimes terrifies you.
Can't grow facial hair to save his life. :(
Met his current girlfriend via Instagram DM.
Clingy when drunk.
So smart that you have to google certain words he uses.
Thrives off making people a little but socially uncomfortable.
Biggest sweetheart, and will never let you pay him back for a coffee you owe him.
Likes to recite facts he learned off Reddit.
One of those people that get 100% on every exam she “didn’t” study for.
Most humble guy you will ever meet.
Complains more often than he thinks.
TyPeD LyK Dis On MSN~~!* in 2005.
Is really into the whole "eat, sleep, rave, repeat" thing.
Would not let you cheat off of him during spelling tests in public school.
Loved his frosted tips in grade 7.
Says he likes siracha a lot more than he actually does.
Is far too familiar with the friend zone.
The friend that would never invite you over to their house, so you always had to invite them over to yours.
Is really sad that Vine is dead.
Really wants you to come to his band's show on Tuesday, but leaves out that you'll have to pay cover. - No thx Nathan.
That guy you talked to for over a year but never actually dated.
Has never paid you back for that one Uber.
Always had the coolest cottage growing up, and is a self proclaimed grill master.
Has a voice for musical theater.
Laughs about the same joke for 10x longer than the average person.
Worked at a landscaping company and thinks your dad is 'so awesome'.
Spends a lot of money on his truck and does not wear a shirt at music festivals.
Hosts a pretty good pre-drink.
Could eat all 3 meals at Tim Hortons and would be totally okay with it.
Always first picked in gym class.
Your friend's younger brother that always told on you for underage drinking.
Will probably end up owning a company and have a fleet of luxury vehicles within the next 10 years.
The best boss you ever had, and will always supply you with a killer letter of recommendation.
Always knows about cooler bars than you do.
Some guy from your high school that you constantly see in your hometown but never actually talk to.
Has a really great girlfriend who you almost like more than him.
Very underrated human, and one of the funniest people you will ever meet.
The ideal person to binge watch Netflix with.
Went to art school and is now kind of a dick.
Loves EDM / Festival Season / Light Shows.
Is an absolute animal when drunk.
Is very trustworthy when it comes to TV series recommendations.
Had an unexpected 'scene kid' phase in high school.
A meathead with a heart of gold.
Has killer Instagram captions.
A little over emotional, but still a great guy so we all put up with it.
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