Let's admit it: Dating in 2018 is really fvcking hard. The hookup culture in our society has made finding an actual relationship pretty impossible. Each year, a new dating phenomenon hits the mainstream: benching, tuning, and even zombieing. But of all the pop culture dating terms, none is more painful or humiliating than ghosting.
According to Urban Dictionary, ghosting can be described as follows: "The act of suddenly ceasing all communication with someone the subject is dating, but no longer wishes to date. This is done in hopes that the ghostee will just "get the hint" and leave the subject alone, as opposed to the subject simply telling them he/she is no longer interested."
As Torontonians, we are no strangers to the horror that is ghosting. Here are some of the craziest ghosting experiences, as told by residents of the 6ix.
1. "So I met this guy on Tinder and we really hit it off and were texting for months, on Skype and the phone every day. He lived in London and I lived in Toronto so it was a bit of a long distance thing. I visited him one weekend and things got really hot and heavy but he didn't want to have sex because he "didn't want to lose me." I pushed him on what that meant but he didn't really give me a straight answer. So as I was leaving he said "text me when you get home so I know you got home safe.
So I get home, and text him, no reply. The next day I check and ask "Hows your day?" and no answer. A few days go by and I'm like "Hey, are you okay?" and no response. This guy had really expressed feelings for me so it was odd that he would just disappear. Fast forward MONTHS later out of boredom I set up a Kijiji ad that said "Free N-64 to whoever leaves me the best Taylor Swift impression voicemail" and left his number as the contact number (Because I'm petty AF). A few days later I sent him a Taylor Swift meme on Facebook and he was like THAT WAS YOU! Then he broke down and told me why he ghosted: He had become a Jehovah's witness and thought I was too tempting, and also his ex had called him saying she had a secret abortion of his baby and he went into a deep depression and didn't talk to anyone for months. Needless to say, I declined when he said he wanted to try things again."
2. "I was seeing this guy but I wasn't that into it. It had been about a month and he asked me to be his girlfriend. I realized I had let this drag on too long, and I needed an out, so I said, "I don't think I can do that because...I'm moving to Australia." He was sad but encouraged me to "follow my dreams." I then never replied to any of his intermittent text messages but most importantly, I never moved to Australia. He still follows me on all social media, so he definitely knows I never moved. Awkward..."
3. "I was out at a bar and met this guy kind of randomly. We ended up chatting all night and were holding hands. We were basically acting like a couple! He was so sweet and even though I was drunk I was totally smitten. I thought he was too. We exchanged numbers and agreed we would go on a real date. When I got home, I drunkenly texted him, "You're so cute," because I couldn't believe how sweet he had been. He never replied and never texted me period."
4. "I started talking to this girl on Tinder and we eventually met up for a drink. Right away, I could tell there were sparks, but I didn't go home with her right away, partly because I wanted to prove that I was serious about her and wasn't just looking for a hookup. We texted regularly for a couple of weeks and met up a couple times for dinner. She was pretty and smart and we talked about everything. She even told me that she had never shared some of these details with another person.
About 2 and a half weeks after we first started seeing each other, we slept together. The sex was amazing and I was felt like we were on our way to a relationship. The next day, when I texted her to say good morning, like we had done for the last few days, there was no reply. I thought this was weird but I didn't stress out until she didn't reply again later that day. Days went by and I realized I was being ghosted. I guess the stereotype that it's guys who are only looking for sex isn't necessarily true."
5. "I met a guy on Tinder and we ended up seeing each other. We even agreed to be exclusive, aka not see other people. All of a sudden, he just stopped texting me. Literally radio silence. I had no idea what I did wrong. My friends and I did what all girls do and we stalked him hardcore. I had him on Instagram but not Facebook, because who really still uses Facebook? Basically, we ended up tracking him down on Facebook and a SEPARATE Instagram account. On this Insta, I could see that not only did he have a girlfriend, but he was in Cuba with his girlfriend at that very moment!
I was totally blindsided. Why would he ask me to not see other people if he literally had a significant other? But IT GETS WEIRDER! 2 days after we found him on social media, and about a week after he had started ghosting, I get a text from him saying "I miss you." Please keep in mind that he was on vacation with his GIRLFRIEND at the time. I sent him a screenshot of his Instagram profile and a "Fuck you" text and promptly blocked him. I'm still fuming tbh."
7. "One of my best friends dated a guy for 9 years (she's 26) and one day she texted him because they weren't really communicating anymore and she wanted to know what was wrong. she said he needed to be more loving and try harder or else they were going to break up. that was 2 years ago, and he has never texted her back to this day... lol."
8. "My friend who is a model got ghosted by some hot model guy she met on set. They hung out after the shoot and had an amazing time then he just ghosted her. We eventually found his Instagram and realized it was because he had a girlfriend. The craziest part is that we totally forgot about him, then one day we ordered a weed delivery and he was the delivery guy. I was so freaked out I opened the door, my jaw dropped and I yelled "is this the guy!?" It was him. Wtf."
9. "I had been on a few dates with a new man and we made plans to hang out that weekend. I honestly thought I could see myself dating him because he did not give off fuck boy vibes at all. He was 27, had a big boy full-time job, worked long hours, and just genuinely seemed mature. On the Friday we watched a movie and had sex...a week after our first date. We had a sleepover and then on the Saturday he told me to text him when I got home...he didn't respond...and then on the Sunday I'm pretty sure we had plans for rock climbing and a dinner, which I even bought new pants for. I had homework so I texted him and said, "I'm so sorry I can't make it because I have too much school work"..and then I'm pretty sure he did not respond to me and so I thought he was mad...so I just left it...but then I texted him on like the Tuesday being like "Hey how's your week?
He never responded so I just assumed I had been ghosted because he had made an effort to text me every day for the previous 3 weeks until that and then he just didn't respond to 3 texts in a row over like 5/6 days. Then I got mad and felt rejected so I jumped back on Bumble by the Thursday. I ended up meeting a new guy who is now my boyfriend, so I guess everything happens for a reason."