The Dating Profiles Of Every Toronto Man
So many hotties.
Photo cred- argyleforlife
Toronto is filled with an endless sea of bachelors.
And yes, at times they can be hard to find. But have no fear ladies, I've complied a list profiling every type of Toronto man and where he can be found.
Whatever type of man you want rest assured he exists somewhere on these city streets and we are going to find him.
Photo cred - d--e--t--e--n--t--i--0--n
West Queen West
Age of Eligible Bachelors: 18-30
Occupation: Let’s be real, do hipsters really work?
Hobbies: Being fucking cool, hanging out in places I don’t know exist yet because they are so on it, one upping each other on the best croissant places, name dropping, drinking obnoxious cocktails
Looking For: Someone who is just as cool. You have blonde hair and a tan? Please. You don’t stand a chance with this crowd. These guys are looking for girls with pale skin and fire engine red lipstick. The more obscure your tattoos, the better. It’s all about appearances with these idiots, so if you look the part, congratulations, you get to date Mr. West Queen West. Don’t you feel special? Bleh.
Age of Eligible Bachelors: 24-30
Occupation: Works in an office that doubles as an art gallery or a casting studio or anything else mildly artistic
Hobbies: Going to Ed’s Real Scoop for ice cream and being cute, drinking coffee from Tango in parks, visiting their friend’s new cupcake shop
Looking For: Someone to spend the rest of their life with. Leslieville guys got it together. They are perfect amounts art and stability. They like tattoos but tastefully have 2 or 3. They love brunch and desperately want to take you to their favorite spot. They want to invite you over for a BBQ on their quaint back porch, talk about inspirational literature, and drink wine from mason jars with you. I smell wedding bells.
Age of Eligible Bachelors: 18-26
Occupation: A cook/busser/dishwasher at a vegan restaurant or works at a bicycle shop
Hobbies: Full-time pothead, basket weaver, hacky sacker, ukulele strummer, partakes in anything that’s being advertised as “free”
Looking For: A low-maintenance girl who is down to sit in many a park, pass a joint and generally be chill with. Someone who shares an interest in dumpster diving. Too far? Meh. The type of girl who won’t freak out when she hears the sentence, “we have bed bugs”. He’s down to get serious/long-term with you as long as things stay drama free.
Age of Eligible Bachelors: 24-35
Occupation: A job in finance duh
Hobbies: Being on somewhere on King West, smashing lines of blow, bottle service, steroids, clothes that are bedazzled, sleeps occasionally
Looking For: Other than an high-class escort? These guys want it all and they’re prepared to pay for it. Looking for a girl who is down to party as hard as they can even on a school night. Potential work-out buddies, swapping the latest squats moves, sharing kale smoothies, and then fuck each others brains out. Not looking for long-term, sorry ladies.
U of T Boys
Age of Eligible Bachelors: 18-22
Occupation: Student at U of T
Hobbies: Going to the Maddy or the Brunswick house, nursing hangovers at Futures, frat parties, cat calling, pulling all nighters at that massive u of t library
Looking For: A cute girl. Someone to explore the city with and then get white girl wasted on Friday nights. A girl who is good at talking you out of brawling with guys at the bar who look at you the wrong way. She doesn’t mind your messy as fuck apartment and the fact you still don’t know how to do laundry. This boy is a handful, be prepared to bring him late night coffee while he crams for his exams last minute because he didn’t go to class all semester because he prioritized dating you and tequila.
Age of Eligible Bachelors: 22-30
Occupation: Recently graduated business school and trust funds be flowin
Hobbies: Hitting the gym, trying out new restaurants, cooking impressive things and hosting dinner parties/pre-drinks with chocolate martinis
Looking For: Someone to potentially get serious with. Someone who shares mutual interests and is down to join a couples volleyball team. Likes to shop at Sobeys as well. Shares an appreciation for food snobbery. Someone to jog with on most week nights. Also likes flaunting their super successful life on instagram.
Art House Film Buff
Age of Eligible Bachelors: 18-26
Occupation: anyone in fashion, visual artist
Hobbies: Gallery openings, going to events that are happening in unconventional spaces, spending obscene amounts of time in independently owned coffee shops, being friends with anybody who owns a clothing store
Looking For: Someone to be their next life drawing model. A sympathetic ear, the visual artist is tortured after all. Someone who actually cares about fashion week. A girl who will support and actually show up to all their art shows not just write them a cop out facebook message wishing them luck.
The Beaches Bachelor
Age of Eligible Bachelors: 25 and up
Occupation: An author, a professor, a yoga guru
Hobbies: Wearing argyle sweaters, bestowing Tibetan wisdom, dusting his bookshelf, hanging out with his psychologist friends
Looking For: A wife or possibly a mistress. A cultivated lady that knows a thing or two about a thing or two. Preferably someone of European decent who has formulated opinions of Hemingway. Some sweet arm candy. Shares an appreciate of yoga and meditation and distrusts people who do not take their shoes off in peoples homes.
Photo cred – ShotBySolo