The 46 Untold Struggles Of Your Starbucks Barista
If you've ever strapped on a green apron, or one of similar stature, you know very well that working in a coffee shop can be a great part time job. Can. Be.
There are tons of perks - from free coffee & tea, to a generous discount and pretty decent tips . But there are a lot of times where the job requires more than a smile & steaming milk.
If you have ever toiled behind a bar or coffee counter, join me in the emotional rollercoaster that is being a barista.
46. Seeing a 356365 kids come in at the same time.
F*ck me here comes 50 cotton candy fraps and we're definitely out of birthday cake pops.
45. Customers that line up at the hand off instead of the cash.
Seriously? Do you see anyone exchanging money??? No?? Okay yeah, this way.
44. "Can I get a grandente? Grandy? Sorry, I don't speak Starbucks haha!!!"
You know what, medium is fine. You can say medium, let's not make this weird.
43. "Actually can we cancel the order? I've got to put money on my card first."
Ah yes, no prob, just gotta get a huge void from my manager & try not to piss off the line of waiting people brb :))
42. "Name or initial?" "No."
Um?? You're just being mean?????
41. "Can I get that with non-fat/lactose-free/soy/almond/coconut but WITH whipped cream?"
Not gunna lie, this makes no sense.
40. When your co-worker miss-marks a cup but you already made the drink.
Oh they wanted a green tea latte and you wrote green tea lemonade. Great. Thanks a lot, Jorgé.
39. When you can't read whatever your co-worker wrote on the cup.
Tf is this, hieroglyphics??
38. Ordering a "tall blonde *wink*" or a "tall dark and handsome".
Really, truly, you are hilarious.
37. Requesting kids temp, extra hot, light ice or half-sweet after your drink has been made.
No worries, I'll just dump $4.95 down the drain. Did you know that's almost what I make in half an hour?? Anyways.
36. "Can I get a cup of whipped cream?"
And a side of diabetes, sure!
35. Having people ask for your coffee grinds like they're for sale.
Uh, no, sorry, unless you want them with a bunch of plastic cups & expired white mocha syrup, I'm gunna pass.
34. "Wow that's expensive!"
So are glasses - which you could use to read the prices on the menu!! I hear McDonalds has great coffee now.
33. Missing your favourite customer because they came in early/late/on your break.
No, not grande latte with 2 raw sugars extra foaammmmm. I love grande latte with 2 raw sugars extra foam.
32. When the line is so long it curls around the entire store.
What is this, a Bieber concert. Let's MOVE people.
31. When someone orders something you're out of & it's the end of the world.
Pumpkin spice? Seasonal. Chestnut Praline?? SEASONAL. I DON'T MAKE THE RULES.
30. "Does this mean I get a free drink?"
Probably not but thanks for making this awkward.
29. When you're on bar making a million drinks but they're out of something at the condiment bar.
You know what, I have so many free hands.
"By the way, you're out of napkins!"
*juggling plastic and paper cups* "Oh great! Thanks! Have a good day!
28. Politely ignoring a customer stealing 23430496 honeys/sugars.
You aren't that stealthy this is just super weird for me.
27. Twitching every time someone under 13 orders espresso.
Your growth - you're going to stunt it.
26. Customers who act like you aren't a person.
*Is on the phone* *barks order* *throws gift card on counter*
25. Dolloping the perfect foam on top of a latte only to hear "I said NO FOAM."
My soul. It's crushed.
24. When customers claim their drink is wrong after they've drank the whole thing.
Ah, great. Didn't know we were offering a two for one special!!!
23. "I SWEAR I just put money on this thing. Give me a sec to auto-reload."
I'm not here to judge, Karen.
22. Cold bar during frappy hour.
21. Decorating your white/black shirt with all the syrups of the rainbow.
Yeah that mocha's probably been on me since 7AM.
20. Unexpected travellers at the worst possible time.
You need 2 full batches of Verona in 15 minutes??? Okay, let's try not to TOTALLY PANIC.
19. Having to guess someone's name for the cup because it's so f*cking noisy.
Did you say Hailey or Bailey? I'm so fking sorry there's beans grinding and sinks on and honestly I can't hear shit.
18. Falling in love with a hot customer for 5 seconds.
Knowing you look like a sweaty, coffee stained rat.
17. Being too chicken to make cuties cups read, "Caution, you're extremely hot."
Because that might be harassment or they might actually realize it was YOU who wrote it.
16. Waking up at the crack of dawn for an opening shift.
The sun's not up, and yet, I am :))
15. Getting abused by the harsh sink chemicals.
My hands = sandpaper.
14. Customers who order decaf constantly doubting that it's decaf.
"Grande decaf latte for André!"
"And it's decaf?"
What did I JUST say.
13. When people grab a drink that is clearly not theirs.
I.E The triple venti caramel macchiato for Colin is NOT FOR YOU, ROBERT.
12. When someone spills their entire drink as soon as they get it.
Peeeeeeeerfect. Just perfect. This is the best.
11. "The wifi's not working."
I would love to help you, but 1. I'm not tech support and 2. I'm elbow deep in trash I'm about to take it out, soooOOOooooo.
10. "Can I get a lemon loaf/chocolate chunk cookie/blueberry bar? No, not that one."
You wanna come around and grab it yourself, ma'am??
9. When a regular gives you their number & everything changes.
This is so weird. We were friends!!!!! I trusted you, Justin!!!!!!
8. When someone complains that their drink isn't right but you KNOW you didn't mess up.
You probably didn't know what you ordered. I've been doing this longer than you've been in line.
7. Meeting your flirty-customer's significant other.
Oh YOU'RE tall blonde in a grande's wife?? Might want to buy a Nespresso machine, cause your man is all over this counter, lady.
6. When you actually make a heart/design on someone's latte and they don't give a single f*ck.
Can you hear that? It's the sound of my heart, cracking into this drink.
5. Getting hella annoyed with *seCreT mEnU* drinks.
No, there is no secret menu, and yes, I know how to make the Captain Crunch frap you pos.
4. SPRINTING to the nearest grocery store because you are out of *blank*.
2%, bananas, lemonade - we've seen it all.
3. Having to clean the most obscure items.
Dusting light fixtures & washing the rubber lining of the fridge? Just another glamorous day.
2. Charging a whipped-cream without a washer & having it explode all over you.
Because cream facials are all the rage on this side of the counter!!
1. That unmistakable coffee-shop smell that clings to your skin.
My perfume? Au de Starbucks.
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