If you’re reading this, chances are you’re a sophisticated and mature adult who still enjoys their fair share of partying. Toronto is known for it’s unreal nightlife and there’s definitely something for everyone, whether that’s getting absurdly drunk off bottles at EFS or just grabbing a few casual buckets at The Porch.
But long ago, before legality hit, all these magical places of debauchery were off limits. So what did we do? We threw “jams”. Yes, we raided our parents’ liquor stash, we nervously tried out fakes at LCBO and we drank way, way too much VEX (that stuff was actual poison.)
To commemorate our downward spiral into being full-blown degenerates, here is a list of the parties that anyone growing up in the GTA definitely experienced:
Photo by Party Rehab
1. The “My Parents Are Upstairs” Party
Picture Sean Paul’s “Get Busy” music video, where the dad keeps coming down and yelling at the party-goers to “stop banging on the damn furnace”? These parties were essentially the same thing, just with a lot less cool dancing. There was always the one person that got too drunk and your mom still hasn’t forgiven you for the destroyed white carpet. RIP.
Photo by Favim
2. The Cottage Party
In the summer you and all your friends gathered at a cottage (there’s a very good chance you’re from Oakville if you frequented such get-togethers). You took photos of yourselves in Ardenes bikinis and definitely used the “Nashville” filter to make yourself look tanner. You discovered Smirnoff Rockets at this party and that was a game changer. Lastly, there was ALWAYS a watersports related injury.
Photo via We Heart It
3. The “Bush” Party
These usually happened when some guy had no plans on a Friday and decided to make a Facebook event called “SICK BUSH JAM. REACH (insert name of sketchy park here.)” 600 people were on the invite and 15 showed up…sadly you were one of them. Pass the Old English, I guess?
Photo by We Heart It
4. The Beach Party
Although similar to the “Bush” Party, the Beach Party was reserved mostly for those Torontonians who grew up in the Beaches. You and your crush probably ended up hooking up in the sand until the cops came, at which time the most sober person would go talk to them, while everyone else would run to safety.
Photo by Xclusive Touch
5. The Full Blown Rager
You still talk about this party. It was the pinnacle of your high school party career and nothing will ever compare. In fact, you’re pretty sure it inspired Project X. You don’t know who’s house it was, but you’re just happy it wasn’t yours. Allegedly the girl who threw it went to boarding school after…Makes you feel kinda bad for putting the hole through the wall, but it was still SO worth it.
Photo via Tumblr
6. The ABC Party
Two Words: Duct Tape.
Photo via Tumblr
7. The Prom After Party
This party was the last hurrah. There’s a good chance Vitamin C was played at some point and an even greater chance you lost your virginity at this party. The most important part about this party? KNOWING UNIVERSITY IS RIGHT AROUND THE CORNER!