Anyone who has ever had to get a last minute rideshare to Montreal will know that it’s a bumpy journey. Chances are, you’re only doing it because you have no other choice. Every other option is either sold out or too expensive.
The minute you make the arrangements, your life will quickly turn into a downward spiral. Your journey is destined to be an uncomfortable montage of seat-shuffling and nose-rubbing, whipped up with complaints of too warm, too cold, too loud, too squashed, too awkward and too long.
Here's what you can expect:
1. The Pick-up Is Not Where It's Supposed to Be
You were fifteen minutes early and now they’re twenty minutes late. They’re not picking up their phone. Half an hour later you realize they’re parked across the road, waiting for you at the wrong gas station.
2. The Music is Terrible
Why are the Red Hot Chili Peppers on repeat? Who picked this station? Why is a balalaika playing? Tough, you're just going to have to deal with it. Mix it in with the noise leakage from the headphones of whoever is sitting next to you, and you've landed yourself into a musical cesspit.
3. Forced Conversation
You’re squashed next to God knows how many people, for the next six hours. The person next to you digs you with their elbow and starts telling you about their extensive collection of novelty shot glasses. The person in the passenger seat says he doesn’t think war is a good idea. Settle in pal, you're in for a long ride.
4. Someone WILL Eat Something Hot and Smelly
The ride settles somewhat. You're on the motorway and cruising to your destination. But then, what’s that? Your neighbour takes out that steaming hot chicken tandoori wrap they got in the gas station. The smell aggressively fills your nostrils, and stays until you exit the car.
Photo cred - Ginette
5. The Halfway Tim Hortons Stopover
‘Gonna stop for a coffee,’ the driver says. Thank God. You use the restroom, buy a dark roast and stand outside, wondering how you ever got your life into such a mess.
6. Dear God My Phone is Dying
You’re back on the road and playing Angry Birds, but then a depressed bleep slips out of your phone. Low battery. Why the hell didn’t you bring a book? Once the phone dies, you spend the rest of the trip looking out the window.
7. Payment Time
Towards the end the driver coughs and says, ‘So….’ You fork over your cash, dropping a two dollar coin under the seat. The person behind you has no change. The lady in front can’t find her wallet. Everyone is ashamed.
8. The Awkward Goodbye
The car pulls in and you jump out sweaty, tired and embarrassed. The man who told you his best friend is a squirrel wants to exchange contact details. No….. No, thank you. You run away, swearing to book a train the next time round. You won’t.