So, as you may (or may not!) know, not only is there an upcoming Presidential election south of the border, there is also a Federal election fast approaching. While Canadian politics are arguably never as crazy as American politics (Donald Trump anyone??), we’ve got our own interesting stuff going on.
The top three parties in contention for winning the federal election are the Conservatives, the Liberals and the New Democrat Party (NDP) – and maybe the Green Party if we want to throw them a bone. Their platforms focus on important issues, such as economic reform, legalization of marijuana and national security.
However none of these parties offer anything nearly as crazy as "The Rhinoceros Party" and their political platform. This satirical party was founded in 2006, based on the earlier ideology of the First Rhinoceros Party. They claim to be the spiritual descendants of Cacareco, a Brazilian rhinoceros who was elected member of São Paulo's city council in 1958.
A list of their platform promises:
1. Move the Capital of Canada from Ottawa, Ontario to Kapuskasing, Ontario
Their motive behind this? Kapuskasing, a Northern Ontario town, is the actual middle point of Canada.
2. Promote Higher Education
…by building taller schools.
3. Nationalizing Tim Hortons
The party recognizes that Timmie Ho’s is a symbol of “Canadian values” and believes that the Government should be given control of all franchises.
4. 1000 Year Election Platform
Supporters simply don’t believe that a 4-year platform does anyone much good.
5. Free Monthly Orgasm to Party Supporters
They also promise that when you place your vote for the Rhinoceros Party on October 19th, you will have an orgasm.
6. Count the 1000 Islands to Ensure the Americans Didn’t Steal Any
A very valid concern.
7. Seat the Queen of Canada in Buckingham, Quebec
It’s basically the same as Buckingham Palace, right?
So, will you be one of the lucky voters orgasming in the voting booth in a few months?