Dating in 2016 is fvcked, and I’m pretty sure most of you who have reached the dark side of Tinder can back me up on this one.
Millenials are dealing with a whole new “social media” aspect of dating that is honestly driving us all insane. Having the pressure of becoming “Facebook official” or posting the right number of couple pictures before you look obsessed, is one of the stupidest things I have ever stressed over.
So much of our lives are documented online; whether that be a temporary Snapchat story, or an Instagram from the night prior. For some reason the “pics or it didn’t happen” mentality is only ringing more and more true, as our social media presence becomes more important.
In this day and age, our peers are not the only ones looking at our social media profiles. Between future employers, friends of friends and extended family members, there are a lot of people viewing your social media platforms and forming their first impressions of you based on your last six Instagrams.
So lets get into it: this is why being Facebook official sucks.
By putting your relationship status online you’re opening it up for people to comment on, literally. Of course I love the friends that are super supportive and shoot you a “like”, but there will always be somebody that has a sour taste in their mouth. Whether that be your significant other’s ex, or somebody you went on two dates with two years ago that has now decided to message you about your recent upgrade. Awkward.
To be honest, the initial post of being “In a relationship” isn’t usually all that bad. It’s actually kind of exciting - getting to show off your new S/O to all your friends, setting up the Facebook lurk for all your gal pals. But having to take that status down once your relationship has come to an end is a whole different story.
Prior to college I dated a guy for two years. When we broke up, we were both pretty hurt. It was definitely not the most mature breakup I have experienced. Two days after our break up he messages me:
“Your Facebook still says you’re in a relationship ?”
Yeah that’s right, “?”. I swear, in that moment I wanted to rip that little tongue off that emoji and shove it up his ass. Not only was it a little hurtful that after over 2 years of dating he thought it was okay to remind me that I was single AF by passive aggressively reminding me to change my Facebook. But, to have the audacity to add an emoji? SAVAGE.
Regardless, physically having to delete your relationship sucks. Even if you were the one who initiated the break up, there is a good chance that you’re still hurting. There are no etiquette rules on how many days/weeks you have to wait before you list yourself as single. And odds are, it will probably always be a little hurtful, no matter how long you wait.
And then there is the whole issue of deciding on your new dating status...
Am I single? Technically.
Do I want a new relationship? Not really.
Does putting that I’m single make it seem like I want a new relationship? I don’t know.
Does leaving it blank make it seem like I’m not over him? I DON’T KNOW.
Am I over him? Also don’t know.
If it says I’m single, will I have to explain to my entire girl gang what happened and cry like a little bitch again? Yeah, probably.
Am I going to get fvck boys sliding into my DMs if I’m listed as single? YEAH.
Do I want that attention? Maybe? No.
These are all things that you should not have to deal with after a break up. Prior to your relationship’s end it is your duty to treat yourself, hangout with your girls, and look at cute pictures of dogs online. Don’t waste your time explaining your breakup to all the people that now feel like it’s their business because it showed up on their Facebook feed.
- Not being Facebook official does not mean you don’t love your significant other.
-If you want to put your relationship on Facebook, that’s cool too.
-Post couple photos when you want to, not when you feel obligated.
-Do you, whether that means Netflix and chilling with a Tinder bae, getting hammered with your girls, or staying in on a Friday night and perfecting you brows.
YOUR HAPPINESS IS IMPORTANT.
PSA: If any of you ever receive a “?” after a break up, hit me up. I have been there and I know how much you need wine and a gal pal in that moment.
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