Break ups suck. No matter what, saying goodbye to someone you love is very difficult, whether they were your best friend, significant other or both.
Although romantic breakups are painful, sometimes saying goodbye to a best friend is even harder. Your best friend is the person you go to when you go through a romantic breakup. But who do you go to when you go through a friendship break up?
Half the songs on the radio and plot lines for TV shows revolve around relationship drama. But why aren’t we talking about the emotional roller coaster of morning the loss of a friendship? Why is it okay to be devastated over a romantic relationship's end, but weird or “obsessive” to be completely a mess after having a falling out with a close friend?
The hardest part of a friendship break up is that you may not even know you had one. Sometimes work gets crazy, and family life gets a little hectic. It’s easy for us to get caught up in our own busy lives and put friendships on the back burner. Sure, sometimes this is solved with a quick text to hangout ASAP. But, other times you’ll realize that since your time apart, you have both completely changed.
Forcing a friendship after you have clearly outgrown one another is one of the most awkward situations to be in. Faking laughs and only being able to bond over “old times” when things were effortless makes for a somewhat meaningless friendship. If you can no longer make new lasting memories with your friend or feel forced into seeing them every now and then, it may be time to move on.
There is also a good chance that once your friendship has clearly expired, you both won't have the guts to address it. Nobody wants to say "hanging out with you is kind of boring", especially when you have a past with the person. Odds are you still care enough about this individual that you definitely don't want to hurt them, so you'll both just stick out the occasional small talk and get togethers with mutual friends.
Then there is the whole problem with “closure”. There is no true way to have a “friendship breakup”. You aren’t going to receive the “we need to talk text”, or have them change the status of you “friendship” on Facebook. You’ll likely just stop getting replies to your messages, or receive last minute cancelations regarding your plans.
Warning: Ghosting is not just reserved for romantic relationships, and it still sucks when a best friend executes it.
Friendship breakups are essentially the equivalent to the worst type of romantic breakups. You’ll wonder if your mutual friends will pick sides, will your social life become non-existent and who are you supposed to take to the Drake concert?
Ultimately, remember this:
-Show your BFF some love. Making time to hangout with your bestie is as important as making quality time for your significant other.
-If you’re not feeling it, let your friend know. Talk about it and see if the friendship is worth salvaging.
-If a friendship is toxic or harmful to you in any way, it's time to say goodbye.
-Don't feel like a romantic break up is the only excuse to eat copious amounts of junk food. Put on your sweats and grab your Ben & Jerry's. You deserve it.