Photo cred - thecrazygato
The dirty thirties. Turning 30 is a milestone. An accomplishment in every sense of the word.
But wait, let's not skip that far ahead just yet, there is still fun to be had. And thank god for fun. 30 can wait because according to this list there is actually a lot you need to accomplish between now and 30. And wouldn't you like to know what's up.
Gather all that 20 something year old energy you have and listen the fvck up.
Here are 30 things you need to do before you're 30 in Toronto.
1. Become famous
If you haven’t made it by 30, give up, roll over and die.
2. Sneak onto rooftop patios
Enjoy illegal breathtaking views of the city and waterfront.
3. Get blackout drunk at Crocodile rock
Be thankful you don’t remember what happened here.
4. Go streaking
Yea maybe this is a little 2004 but it’s still a fun time, especially in Bellwoods Park.
5. Avoid going to Ryze
Once you’re over 30 you won’t get invited here anymore. Sigh of relief.
6. Eat at Poutini’s often
Your metabolism is like a ticking time bomb. Eat here as much as you can before you become old and fat.
7. Convince two hot girls to mud wrestle in bikini’s
Get away with this one before you’re old and its just creepy.
8. Snag a date with the TSD (Toronto serial dater)
Be careful there’s only one and she bites...
9. Go drunken tobogganing at Riverdale park
You can’t get away with it when you’re over 30.
10. Almost die from a pizza addiction
Before you’re 30 it’s hilarious, after 30 it becomes a serious health concern.
11. Clean everything in your apartment with Windex and think that's not a problem
Windex is multi-purpose right?
12. Walk of shame the fuck of this city
you’re only young once right?
13. Take advantage of Prohibitions happy hour on school nights aka work nights
$5 glass of wine & beer $2.50 Jager all the time, once you’re over 30 you must be in bed by 10pm (happy hour starts at 10pm bitches).
14. Go on drunken bike rides through the city
Safety is for people who are over 30.
15. Get a craft beer passport
Once you’re over 30 that beer is going straight to your belly, enjoy whilst ye can.
16. Go to Sneaky Dee’s for the last time
You can’t go here anymore, you’re just too old. Sorry guys.
17. Get excited about cheap drink specials
Before you’re 30 it just looks like you’re budgeting, after you’re 30 you just look like a cheap bastard.
18. Be a slob
This type of behaviour is excusable for now.
19. Try to convince cabs to take you to the mcdonalds drive thru at bathurst and dundas
Some will. Some won’t.
20. Drunkenly decide to edge walk
Fail the breathalyzer test and return once you’re over 30 and sober.
21. Order indian food as much as possible from lahore tikka house
Best indian food in the city, eat as much as possible while you’re young and still pretty.
22. Obnoxiously cut lines at clubs
You’re young enough to get away with it but everyone still hates you for it.
23. Enjoy your brunch at County General with a side of tequila
What is stopping the young folk from getting drunk in the mornings? Nothing!!!
24. Try every beer at beerfest
Don’t be a pussy.
25. Enjoy free samples at frozen yogurt shops
You still have that forgivable young charm to you, over 30 and you’d be kicked out of the place.
26. Enjoy your last days in the annex
Does anybody over 30 frequent this area?
27. Spend all your hard earned money on food & drink
Once you hit 30 you’ll be all into cooking and drinking less. Bleh.
28. Get into yoga
There are so many studios city wide to be taking advantage of. Start yoga now, form good habits before you’re old and decrepit.
29. Meet someone influential who can help you with your career
You still have a shot at success!
30. Go to snakes and lagers too often
Games are for children (aka people under 30)