13 Things You Will Almost 100% Hear In Alberta
Often referred to as the “Texas of Canada”, Alberta is known for having country roots, dry prairies, and cute cowboys. Contrary to popular belief though, there’s much more to us than rodeos and country music festivals. A lot of us are big rap music fans and, believe it or not, have never ridden a horse in our lives.
READ ALSO: 19 Things Calgarians Are Tired Of Hearing
If they got one thing right about the comparison to Texas though, it’s that everything’s bigger in Alberta. From the Calgary Stampede to the West Edmonton Mall, you can be sure that Albertans know how to take things to another level and have the most fun.
If you’re not familiar with Alberta lingo but plan on visiting, or just want to impress your friends with some Western Canada slang, be sure to slip the following phrases into your vocabulary.
“3 day bender.”
The infamous 3 day bender is a staple in the Albertan lifestyle. You start with pre-drinks on a Thursday night, and end with tequila shots at your favorite bar or club on a Saturday night. You know that every drink you have will come back to haunt you in the form of a Sunday hangover, but you're beyond the point of caring.
“How many days until the Stampede?”
The last day of the Calgary Stampede is the beginning of the countdown for the next years’ festivities. From Cowboy’s ‘100 Days Until Stampede’ Party to the release of the artist lineups (btw, Usher, The Chainsmokers, Big Sean, and Fetty Wap are all performing this year!!!) the excitement never ends.
“Let’s go to Knoxvilles!”
Albertans who appreciate our country roots can typically be found at Knoxvilles Tavern on Tuesday for Student Night, or on Saturday for Ladies Night ($4 Twisted Teas, who can say no to that??). Although the majority of the music they play is country, they do throw in the occassional rap song for those of us who just can't get down to 'Cotton Eyed Joe'.
“Anywhere but Knoxvilles…”
If cowboy boots and Carrie Underwood aren't for you, have no fear. Those of us who aren’t as fond of country music would rather spend weekends at Commonwealth in Calgary, or Y Afterhours in Edmonton.
“The Flames/Oilers are bringing home the cup this year!”
...are they really though? The rivalry between Calgary and Edmonton fans is never ending, we can’t imagine life without it.
"Is it Summer yet?"
Another thing Alberta is infamous for is our ever-changing weather. Thirty degree days? As if. It's almost a guarantee that the minute you cover yourself in sun tan oil, a cloud will float out of nowhere and ruin your plans. It's not ideal, but the bad weather makes us appreciate the sun when it comes around.
“Nobody in Alberta knows how to drive.”
It’s true, we Albertans are known for our crazy driving habits. Edmontonians hate the highways in Calgary, and Calgarians just can’t understand how Edmonton works. As long as we all remember to use our signal lights, the roads should remain (somewhat) peaceful.
"Calgary/Edmonton traffic is insane, I would never be able to live there."
Chances are you'll hear this one in any small-town Alberta city. While it is kind of true, all the benefits heavily outweigh the traffic jams. Have fun shopping in your mall with five stores and having nothing to do on a Saturday night!!!
“There’s nothing to do in Alberta,”
said the small town gal from Medicine Hat or Lethbridge. Make the trip to Calgary and check out 17th Ave, head up to Edmonton and shop around West Ed, or take a hike in Banff or Jasper. There’s more to do than you’d think.
“Let’s go to Banff/Jasper for the weekend!”
Maybe it’s the ridiculous number of hot Australian workers, or maybe it’s the beautiful scenery, but there’s something so addictive about a weekend getaway to the mountains.
Are you really in Alberta if you haven’t heard this at least once? Typically reserved for hockey players, “ferda boys” is simply slang for “for the boys”. Why, you ask? Because we really love our boys.
“No good artists tour in Alberta.”
While we might not get the same headliners as Toronto and Vancouver, Calgary and Edmonton still get their fair share of popular artists. Music festivals like One Love, X-Fest, Country Thunder, and Soundwave bring in some big names.
"For the memories."
Like I said earlier, everything is bigger in Alberta. We all know how to have the best possible time, and you can be sure that our excuse for doing anything crazy will be that we did it "for the memories."