14 Signs He's Definitely A Calgary Fvckboy

Fvckboy. Fuccboi. Fuckboy. Whatever you wanna call it.

What is a fvckboy? In the simplest terms, the soggy bread of humans.

I'll give it to you straight: We all have a little fvckboy in us. However, some more than others. Unfortunately, there is no "fvckboy repellent" on the market right now, so the only way to avoid a serious fvckboy is knowing how to spot them.

READ ALSO: 10 Types Of Guys You’ll Definitely Meet At Calgary Bars

Calgary's fvckboys are pretty unique. For one, they're usually gorgeous. (That's how they get you.) They also have a few characteristics that'll help you pick them out of the crowd and run the opposite direction. Here 14 signs he just might be a Calgary fvckboy:

He'll allow you to pump your own (or his) gas in -20 weather.

And he'll tell you not to take too long... he might get cold in the car.

He's probably a hockey or football player.

And he "plays for" or is "bros with someone who plays for" the Flames or Stampeders.

He invites you to Stampede on a first date and makes you pay for your own admission.

You could have at least told me to get here at 6AM during free admission hours... could've saved us both $20.

He'll make negative comments on other girl's Stampede/clubbing attire.

But homeboy will still check them out though.

He makes you pick him up knowing damn well you live on opposing sides of the city.

You live off Macleod, he lives off Deerfoot... and you have to pick him up... every. time.

But he almost always wants to hang out on your/a different side of the city.

Yeah, sure- I'll just leave Royal Oak and pick you up in Legacy so we can hang out at Sunridge...

He will only take you to movies at Canyon Meadows.

$5 movies. Either that or he's using your Netflix.

He'll ask you to come out clubbing with him just for you to be DD.

Yeah, sure I'll drive you and "the boys" to Cowboys just to watch you get drunk and play wingman... Always doing things "ferda boys."

He over-fabricates his online dating profile.

You know damn well you are not 6'4 and that Tesla in your photo is at Chinook Centre, but I'll leave that one to the Lord...

He probably really enjoys hunting.

Because shooting down your hopes and dreams isn't enough.

His tinder picture is a photo of his ass/him naked.

I don't care how nice his ass is, ladies, STAY AWAY!

Or at the gym... change room mirror... flexing.

Arms strong enough to crush your heart, girl.

Or a photo of him holding a fish...

That's how you know you're not the only fish in his sea, honey.

He is probably really offended by this satirical article.

Of course, I'm kidding. We're all the soggy bread of humans.

13 Things 2 West Coast Girls Wished They Knew Before Moving To Toronto

Dundas Square is overrated and the winters are actually worse in the 6ix.

Canada is one of the biggest countries in the world and each province and coast has its own quirks and individual culture from weather to slang.

Here's what two west coast girls from Vancouver and Calgary wish they knew before moving to downtown Toronto.

Keep Reading Show less

Calgary Is Making Vaccine Passports Mandatory & Here's Where You'll Need It

Otherwise you could get slapped with a $500 penalty.

It's official; vaccine passports are coming to some businesses in Calgary as the province of Alberta remains in a public health emergency.

Starting on Thursday, September 23, a bylaw will be in effect requiring that people show proof of vaccination, a negative test result or a medical exemption letter to enter places such as restaurants, nightclubs, movie theatres, and a slew of other businesses, according to the city of Calgary.

Keep Reading Show less

On Tuesday, July 27, the Calgary Stampede released a notice regarding COVID-19 cases from the 2021 event.

According to the notice, Alberta Health Services has shared that 71 people likely got COVID-19 at Stampede, including cases that were identified either during or following the event.

Keep Reading Show less

As many around the world mourn Prince Philip's death, a look back at his life reveals he made 29 official visits to Canada plus many other trips for private business and stopovers. 

The government of Canada's "Past Royal Tours" page details every single time the Duke of Edinburgh touched down in the country, how long he was here for, and where specifically he went. 

Keep Reading Show less