The online dating world can be pretty tricky to navigate sometimes. Especially when you've just downloaded Bumble for the first and you have no idea what you're doing.
It can be kind of intimidating sometimes. But there's a lot of rules that you discover as you get further into the online dating world. Lots of these rules aren't specifically talked about but they're all basically common knowledge after you've been using the app for a few weeks.
So, if you're not sure how to get to know people, how to actually meet up for dates, or how to deal with creepers, this list is for you!
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Don't: Send Your First Message Immediately After You Match
One of the more obvious rules of the online dating game is not to send a message immediately after you match. Give it 2-3 hours before you send a message, that way you don't seem too eager and you give yourself an air of mystery!
Do: Be Prepared For Some Disappearing Acts
Maybe you had a really fun first back-and-forth, but after the third of fourth message they just completely stop answering. Or maybe you went on a date and ended up back at their place but after that night they completely disappeared. Well, that's the struggle with dating apps like Bumble, people can fall off the face of the Earth with absolutely no explanation and you just have to be prepared for that.
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Don't: Just Say Hi In Your Opening Message
It's so easy for us girls to want to avoid putting ourselves out there and seeming too eager, but that's completely opposite of what Bumble is all about! The girls are encouraged to make the first move and saying 'hi' just isn't going to cut it.
Do: Come Up With A Creative Pickup Line
There's so many people in the Bumble world that do resort to the simple 'hey' line, but it's much more appreciated if you can get a little creative from time to time. Send a gif, some emojis or even just a compliment. Check out this article for 40 pickup lines that actually work!
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Don't: Don't Force Small Talk For Too Long
It's tempting to keep the conversation going if you've had a few fun and witty exchanges. But after the fun and witty responses run out you end up forcing small talk questions like 'where did you grow up?' and 'how many siblings do you have?'. It gets a little bit forced awkward at that point.
Do: Ask Them Out For Coffee/Drinks Instead
Once you've had a few good exchanges back and forth, ask them out for coffee/drinks and continue getting to know them in person. This way you can avoid that awkward small talk and get right to the good stuff!
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Don't: Just Write About Yourself In Your Bio
Sure, it's good to put some things about yourself in your bio so potential matches can get to know you a little bit. But there's definitely a fine line of what's enough and what's wayyyy too much. In fact, studies have shown that the ideal online dating profile is only 70% about you and 30% about what you're looking for in a match.
Do: Try To Include Humour And Emojis
Tons of studies prove that people are most attracted to humour, so if you can, add some humour into your bio! It doesn't have to be comedian level humour, but just something cute and not predictable. Emojis are also a great way to show some originality, so throw a few of your favourites in there!
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Don't: Add Your Match On Social Media Right Away
Social media stalking is something we all do, you can't deny it. Everyone has stalked their ex, their ex's new girlfriend/boyfriend or even a match on an online dating app at some point in their lives. But there's a big difference between casually stalking them and adding them and spamming their account with likes immediately after you match.
This is especially good advice for Bumble users because unlike Tinder, your Facebook and Instagram aren't linked to your profile. So if you follow your match on Instagram or add them on Facebook, they'll know you put some effort into finding them, which is pretty creepy TBH.
Do: Try To Acknowledge Everyone Who Contacts You
Sure, we're all busy these days but if you signed up to use a dating app and someone you matched with takes the time to craft a nice, funny or cute pickup line just for you, you should at least try respond. I mean, maybe you weren't super drawn to them to begin with, but how could a simple response hurt?
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Don't: Choose A Fancy Restaurant For The First Date
Everyone loves the idea of going on a romantic first date to a fancy restaurant and ordering wine and caviar for dinner, but that's just not realistic for online dating. You should definitely be splitting the bill on your first Bumble date and shouldn't assume that the other person can afford a super fancy dinner on every date.
Do: Choose Somewhere Casual Like A Coffee Shop Or Bar
The best way to go on a first date with someone you've only talked to online is a coffee shop for a caffeine fix or a bar for drinks. These are both super casual settings and very cheap so you know both of you can afford it. It's also much easier to bail from a cafe or bar if the date is going poorly than it is in the middle of a fancy dinner.
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Don't: Post Photos From 5+ Years Ago
This one is super important! You need to make sure your photos actually look like you so try to keep them as recent as possible, so that means absolutely no photos from 2007! It's also a good idea to avoid putting emojis over your face, the whole point of Bumble is so people can judge you based on how you look after all.
Do: Include Group Pictures
A study by the University of California showed that people always look more attractive in a group. Basically, you look quickly at the whole group and take an average of the attractiveness and you don't spend time looking specifically at each person. So if you want to appear more attractive, include group pictures with your most attractive friends!
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Don't: Believe Everything You Hear
There probably aren't that many people out there that are going to admit upfront that they're just looking to hookup with you once or a few times and then completely disappear. So a lot of the time people will pretend they're looking for love just to get what they want. It's terrible, but it's true!
Do: Be Honest About Your Background
This is super important, people. If you didn't graduate from Med school and own a Ferrari, then don't say that you do! People are only going to be upset if you don't tell the truth, so just be honest about your career, hobbies and the fact that you don't own a super expensive car.
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Don't: Go On Bumble Looking For A Specific Type Of Person
If the last few people you've dated all have the same career, personality traits or look alike then maybe it's time to try something different. Don't go on Bumble looking for one specific type of guy, the purpose of this app is to try new things and meet new people that maybe you wouldn't meet in your everyday life.
Do: Go With Your Gut
If you see their picture and you immediately think 'hell yes, they're cute!' then you should absolutely swipe right, but if you're not sure then don't settle! What's the point in swiping on someone you're not even sure you're attracted to. You're on Bumble to have fun and meet new people so do it!
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Don't: Send Nudes
I honestly don't understand why anyone would think it was cool to send someone they haven't even met, a nude pic of themselves. Just don't do it. Ever.
Do: Be Bold And Assertive
Remember that you're talking to someone over a dating app, and not in person. So be bolder than you would normally be, and even be more assertive and ask them out first. It's proven that guys respond more to assertive women so go for it!