13 Things I Wish I Knew Before Getting Into A Relationship
Or before falling in love.
You can never really understand something until you've experienced it. It's like skydiving. We can't know or understand the feeling if we've never really done it. If you're up for it, you make the time, and take the leap (literally) so you can experience it all for yourself.
The same thing applies to a romantic relationship. If you've never been in a relationship, you can't know what it's really like to be in one. Yes, you can get an idea based on what you read, what you see in movies, or what your friends say, but that's just a representation and not an experience. It's the type of thing you have to jump into and live yourself.
At the beginning, we think everything will happen the way we want it to. But there are things you can't predict. For example, your feelings, your worries, and your reactions to various things. Sometimes you wish there were certain things you'd been told beforehand. Here are a few of the things I personally wish I had known.
1. I had to make sacrifices
It's stupid, but it's something you don't really think about when you're single. But when you're dating someone, you have to make certain sacrifices that are needed in order for your relationship to work. For example, sharing your bed. You won't be able to starfish in the middle of the bed when your s/o sleeps over- nope, instead you're going to have to pick a side.
2. I no longer had the right to be selfish
When you're in love, it is important to consider the wants and needs of your partner. Of course, you have the right to make choices that put you first, but you really have to start thinking of yourself as two people and decide how your being selfish is going to affect the other person. Want to move across the globe? You'll have to chat with your s/o first.
3. Whether I liked it or not, my relationship with my friends were affected
When you fall in love with someone, the more you want to spend time with them. Though it might be normal for you to have less time to see your friends as you continue to build your relationship with your partner, it is important to be careful and not abandon your friends completely.
4. It is normal to have doubts sometimes
You are not a perfect human, and neither is your partner. Every relationship has its ups and downs and sometimes those downs really make you question your relationship, even if you're crazy about each other.
5. I was going to get hurt
Being love is a wonderful feeling, but with it also comes disappointment, pain and worry. This ties in with the previous point that no one is perfect. There are going to be times where situations will arise with your s/o that will really hurt you, but it is a learning process constantly.
6. I can't keep my emotions to myself
We live in an era where playing games, sending mixed signals and just being complicated comes very naturally, for whatever reason our minds and the society have us convinced that it is just easier that way. But when you're in a relationship, you need to communicate your feelings and thoughts openly to your partner, no matter how difficult that may seem.
7. I would end up depending on someone, constantly
I don't mean you become so emotionally dependent on someone, that isn't healthy. It's the simple thing of someone being there for you whenever you need them to be. I find myself having this secure feeling knowing that if there is a time I am at a low, I have someone who will be there standing right beside me with the bad, but also the good.
8. I can't be afraid to be alone
You can't be in a relationship for the sole purpose of not being alone, then you're not in a good relationship. There will be times your partner isn't there, you need to be able to carry yourself solo.
9. It takes time
Being in a relationship is one thing, but falling in love is another. You're not going to be head over heels in love with someone overnight- that only happens in the movies and sorry to break it to you, but in real life, you're not living a Nicholas Sparks novel based movie.
10. I need to learn to trust
Trust is something that's very difficult to give, and very easy to lose. But when you're in a relationship, one of the major components is that you MUST trust your partner. If you don't, then what's the point?
11. It's not like the movies
Your relationship won't progress or end up like the movies where it's fireworks, kisses in the rain (okay this one maybe) or over the top romantic gestures. There is also nothing to guarantee that we will live happily ever after...but some of us just might.
12. I can't have unrealistic expectations
I wanted someone perfect, making them non-existent. Before a relationship, I built up this 'perfect man' who'd be the ideal bf, and looking at my friends bfs thinking, "mine will be like this or that." We are who we are, and there is someone out there who goes well with us. I found that, and while again, no one is perfect, and my expectations may have been very off, we are great.
13. I didn't know what love really was
This kind of ties in with the point above. I thought I knew what love was based on others, movies and the fantasy in my head- but everything I thought was true, it is totally different. I mean the ups, and downs and everything in between. It's might throw me off at times, but it's also pretty great.