20 Things You're Doing That Are Secretly Sabotaging Your Relationship
Self destruction on a whole new level.
Let's be real. Relationships are hard work. Nobody said it was going to be easy. Especially the long term ones, ones where you two have been together for so long that everything kind of feels like a routine.
It's obvious no relationship is perfect, but there is no need to spiral down into a deep dark wormhole of loneliness. Getting it right with your significant other will keep both your two happy! Here are a few things you may be doing secretly to sabotage your relationship without knowing.
1. You're not being flexible!
And no I'm not talking about your flexible abilities in the bedroom. Although that does help, I'm actually talking about when making plans! We all run on busy schedules, it's crucial to meet your partner halfway. It sucks being the only one who is making all the effort. Being flexible on plans allows for more wiggle room to make plans.
2. Also on that note. Go on DATES!!
Never stop dating, no matter how long you two have been together! Try not falling into a rut where all you do is stay at home watching reruns on TV, although there is nothing wrong with that. But every now and then it's nice to dress up for one another and go on a romantic date. This helps to keep things fresh.
3. You're not listening.
Seriously, it's not that hard. Just put your phone down for a second. Focus on your partner and ask them about their day and REALLY listen. Imagine having a great story to tell your significant other, and you've been waiting all day to tell them this epic story about something that just happened, and the whole time they're on their phone, not paying you any attention. It hurts, doesn't it? Being present helps to keep both people happy! Who knows, you may actually even like the story!
4. You spend too much time focusing on the negatives.
Stop dwelling on the past! Make up your mind, do you want to be with your partner or not? Did you decide yet? If you answered yes, then you are going to have to move past whatever you're holding onto. I know this can be extremely difficult but truthfully, once you do, your relationship and you will be so much better from it.
5. Holding your partner to unrealistic expectations.
If you're a fan of romantic comedies then you may be guilty of this one. But hey, it's not our fault we grew up watching Ryan Gosling in the Notebook. Although not everyone can be like him, we can try communicating with our partners about how we like to be romanced. This will definitely help not only them but us to have a little peace of mind.
6. You always make it about you ...
WAKE UP CALL!!! You're not the only one in this relationship. There are two people here. Try talking to your partner about their day instead of babbling about yours.
7. You're not embracing your differences.
Opposites do attract, and that's not necessarily a bad thing. This is the reason to spice up your relationship. You two have different tastes and interests, use those differences to educate one another. Widen your horizons.
8. You expect your partner to read your mind.
Let me just tell you this one time. No honey, they can't read your mind and you can't read theirs. Allow for some error, try learning to express your feelings a little more in a way that they understand. Everyone is different, some people just need a little more explaining than others.
9. You're not kissing each other when you leave.
Possibly you two used to do this but as time progressed in your relationship the habit just disappeared. Change that today! I promise, your partner will be super happy. Bringing this little habit back is sure to increase your romance levels drastically. Once you have one kiss, you won't be able to have enough.
10. You're allowing other people to get involved in your arguments.
Stop airing your dirty laundry out for everyone to see. Seriously, stop. That's not going to help anything or anyone. Especially if you're going back to your ex to vent about your current relationship, this could have massive repercussions with your current partner.
11. You're taking advice from your single friends.
Who knows, your friend might be the best advice giver in the entire world ... but this is your relationship after all. If you want to talk to anyone about issues that you're having in your relationship, MAKE SUREEE it's your partner.
12. You're not spending enough QUALITY time together.
When you're together you should be PRESENT! That means actually engaging with them and no, not just hanging out so you can put them on your snap story. Try going out for dinner, place your phones face down, the first person to pick up their phone has to pay the bill.
13. You're still being shy in bed.
Let loose, put on a show for your partner! Especially if you're in a long term relationship, this should be a top priority. Don't let things get boring. Spicing things up in the bedroom can be fun. Try dressing up for one another, this is an easy first step to exploring much more in this world.
14. Only watching what you want on Netflix.
Netflix can be such a good thing between couples. Giving them the chance to watch and bond over movies and shows. However, don't be that person who only wants to watch what they want. Let your partner decide sometimes too!
15. You're always threatening to break up.
DRAMA QUEEN ALERT!! We get it, every issue is the end of the world for you, right? This bad habit needs to be cut ASAP. Because one day your partner may just take you up on this offer.
16. You dropped your friends for your relationship.
Take a step back and realize how many of your friendships have changed since your relationship started. Stop making your relationship your entire life. You need to have your own group of friends separate from your partners.
17. You're texting them all day, every day.
This may be cute to some, but for most, it can be extremely annoying! Leave some mystery for your partner. Instead of texting them all throughout the day, be present in whatever you are doing, and call them at night to chat about your day. This allows you to enjoy and make more memories in whatever you may have planned for that day. But you also get a chance to include your partner with everything that's going on, later that same day, so you two are always on the same page!
18. You don't trust them!!
Why are you even in a relationship with someone you don't trust? If you don't have the ability to trust and communicate with one another, there is no strong foundation for this relationship. And trust me, being paranoid and questioning them all the time isn't cute. If they haven't given you an exact reason why you should not be trusting them, don't put your past insecurities onto them and this new relationship! Give them a chance, they may surprise you.
19. You try to control everything your partner does.
Insecure much? I get it, in this world filled with TONS of insta baddies, you want to know everything your partner is doing on social media. Trying to control your partner's actions will only make things tense and uncomfortable. You, truthfully just have to trust your partner, perhaps discussing boundaries on social media may be a good solution.
20. You keep in touch with your ex.
SERIOUSLY WHAT ARE YOU DOING! Let's leave the past in the past, and let it go already. They are your ex for a reason! No need to bring that messy drama in here for no reason. Keeping in touch with your ex is only going to make your partner develop trust issues with you.