Realities Of Dating Someone For 3 Months Vs. Dating Someone For 3 Years
A brutally honest comparison.
When two people just start dating it's completely magical. Everything is new, exciting and fresh and you can't wait to get to know everything about the other person.
In the first 3 months of a relationship you'll end up eating their burnt french toast in the morning and telling them you love it and watching sports games you would have slept through before.
After 3 months in a relationship you reach that stage where you decide if you really like the person enough to make a serious relationship work or if it was just a short-term fling.
But if you know they're the one, eventually you'll end up at that 3 year mark where nothing can surprise you about your partner anymore.
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When you've only been dating for 3 months you're still in that blissful beginning of the relationship where you think the other person is completely flawless and you'll do anything to keep up this facade. This means wearing your cutest pyjamas, making sure you're always wearing your nicest perfume and always wearing matching lingerie, of course.
When you've been together for 3 years, that 'perfect' facade that you were trying to put on at the beginning is long gone. You'll wear your ugliest sweatpants with the holes in them because they're the comfiest pair you own and the baggiest sweater because they already know what's underneath.
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You're still in that honey moon stage where you can't get enough of each other and that means kissing at every chance you get. You couldn't care less about the PDA as long as you're as close as possible. Being around them is super exciting and special.
Once you've been together for 3 years you don't feel the need to be glommed onto each other every second of the day. You appreciate having your own space and time apart more than ever now and the PDA thing really isn't important to display that you're together to the world.
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If you're 3 months into your relationship everything you do together is cute and exciting. You'll walk into the grocery store or mall holding hands, do adorable things like push each other around in the shopping carts and spend all the time in the world in at each other's favourite stores.
You probably had one or two arguments on the way to the mall, you wait with all your attitude while he takes his time at the Apple store and he pouts while you try hundreds of outfits on at Zara. You continue to wait for each other as long as there's a game you can play and sofas he can sit on.
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Your dates are always well-planned and super romantic. You put tons of effort into getting date-ready and you'll usually enjoy going out for drinks in a sultry bar or eating a fancy, candlelit dinner just the two of you. You don't have to worry about conversation topics because you're still just getting to know each other!
Chances are you'll have lots of arguments over what food you both want and then end up settling on ordering in take out and eating it in bed in your PJs. As long as your bellies are full and you're as cozy as possible, you'll be happier than ever. You don't need a fancy dinner to impress each other anymore.
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Your first fight takes a couple months to happen, but when it does you're both a little surprised. He'll raise his voice and she'll bring up all the little things in the past couple months that have ticked her off. It feels like you could never reconcile but when you do, it's better than ever!
You bicker constantly and you don't even realize you're doing it. When they forgot to wash their dirty plate from breakfast, you bicker. When they didn't take out the trash on time, you bicker. When they choose to go out with their friends instead of going to dinner with your parents, you bicker. But it always ends in a kiss and a simple 'I'm sorry' and all is forgiven.
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Taking a shower together at the beginning of the relationship is something exciting and new to enjoy together. It's completely romantic, you're cozy together under the warm water and it probably leads to some sensual times.
When you've been together for 3 years the shower probably isn't the most romantic place you can think of anymore. It's back to just being a shower, the place where you get clean as fast as possible. When you do shower together you can't stop thinking about how cold you are while the other person is using the water and you're not embarrassed to shave your legs in front of them.
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Giving each other massages are a nice way to end a super romantic date and keep that romance going. You'll light up some candles, use essential oils and maybe even put on some music to completely set the mood. You'll give each other full body massages just to show how much you care.
After 3 years you basically have to beg your partner to give you a massage and after a lot of grumbling about how smelly your feet are, they finally give in. After about 5 seconds they'll quit and then ask for one from you later that night. You say you want to have a romantic massage night in you did at the beginning, but that probably doesn't happen very often.
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When your boyfriend finally asks you to hang out with him and his friends for the first time, you end up buying a new outfit, putting on your best makeup look and laughing nervously most of the night. You're scared that if his friends didn't like you that it will be over between you two, of course that's not true though.
When your boyfriend asks you to go out with his friends now you know exactly what to expect. You throw on a comfy pair of jeans and a baggy sweater and head out the door, no makeup required. You know you're in for a night of sports talk and beers so there's really no reason to dress up or act like anything but yourself.
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After reading all this you're probably wondering, well which one is really the best? Is it fancy dates where you're constantly learning something new about the other person, or is it staying wearing your old cozy clothes and eating your favourite takeout?
We all love that feeling of having butterflies in our stomachs when we see that person because it's a new relationship, but it really does get better with time. Sure, you end up doing the same things together but that's just because you finally know what you both enjoy.
You become extremely comfortable together and there's no more guessing at what will make the other person angry, happy, sad, or excited because you know all of this about them already.
You may not stay up all night talking like you used to, but once you reach that point of comfort in a relationship you don't need words to tell the other person how you feel, you show it everyday you're with them.