Going through a breakup is never easy, whether you're 16 years old, 20 years old or 30 years old. It's always the same emotions that we have to deal with even though we think we have it all figured out as we get older.
We all deal with the denial, the sadness and the anger when you've just ended a serious relationship. But once you get through all of that and come out the other side you realize that that experience probably taught you something and you can finally accept the breakup and move on to bigger and better things.
It's not always easy getting there, but eventually we do! This process is pretty universal no matter the age, but there are some big differences between when we breakup in high school and when we breakup in university.
In the next few pages we'll go through the differences in how the breakup goes, how you feel after the breakup, coping with the breakup, starting to move on, and finally finding a new relationship.
For How The Breakup Goes, Click "NEXT"
Your emotions are high and there's a lot of crying involved.
In high school we're all ruled by our emotions because there's tons of teenage hormones raging through our bodies. I don't know about you guys but when I broke up with my high school boyfriend, I bawled my eyes out the whole time.
And it doesn't have to be just the girls that end up crying, guys can get just as emotional during a breakup as girls do. Especially if it's someone they really cared about and loved.
You'll feel nothing while it happens.
University breakups are much different from High School because they'll probably be way less emotional. At least in my case, my university breakup was basically me sitting there, not feeling any emotions until like 2 days after it happened.
I'm not trying to say that we become numb when we get to university, but I do feel that we get used to putting up with a lot of things we shouldn't put up with that makes us react less dramatically and emotionally when a big breakup happens.
Your relationship has probably lasted a while.
In high school, serious relationships usually aren't short lived. Most relationships that start in high school will last a year or two, or at least 6 months. That's a decently long time for a high school relationship or even any relationship in general. That might add to why the breakup is so emotional.
Your relationship probably only lasted a few months.
As you get older, it definitely gets harder to have a relationship that lasts. Of course this isn't true for everyone but in university people are more into hooking up than having long-term relationships so you'll end up dating/sleeping with one for a few months before it ends with one person getting hurt because they caught real feeling for the other.
Your friends get involved in your breakup.
In high school, your girlfriends are just as important to you as any relationship could ever be. They're by your side through everything, always supporting you. So when you go through a breakup you know they're going get involved to try and protect you. This could come in the form of giving your ex major attitude and even making some snide comments to get back at them for hurting you.
You'll only tell your friends after the fact for emotional support.
Your friends in university are just as important to you as they were in high school. But instead of going to them to help you get revenge on your ex, they're there a few days later when you need emotional support to deal with your feelings. They can be there to hate on your ex as much as you need, eat your body weight in comfort foods and drink away your feelings until you start feeling like yourself again.
In High School
The breakup will happen either over text or in a very public place.
Breaking up in high school is usually done pretty immaturely because people don't actually know how to breakup with someone in a respectful way. So you'll end up breaking up either in a super public place like the high school cafeteria or the biggest party of the year. Or it could be done over text if you're super lame like that.
You'll break up in person and in private.
By university, most people know how to breakup with someone in a respectful way. That doesn't always mean that the breakup itself is respectful, but at least you'll be in a private place like someone's apartment where you can talk without anyone overhearing you. This could also be done over the phone when both of you are home and you have time to talk openly about the breakup.
For How You Feel After The Breakup, Click "NEXT"
You immediately feel like the world is ending.
Your first thought after a breakup in high school is that the world is going to end now that you're not with that person anymore. You just can't imagine living your life without them in it. Sure, it's a bit melodramatic but that's because you're young and it's probably your first serious relationship that just ended.
The feelings don't hit you right away.
In university, that dramatic feeling that the world is going to end if you're not with that person just isn't there, or at least it takes a little longer to kick in. You focus on the breakup happening and your feelings later. You might not even experience any intense feelings until a couple hours later.
You convince yourself that you'll get back together soon.
After a breakup it's sometimes nice to stay in that denial stage for a while to make yourself feel better. But it becomes a problem when you convince yourself that you'll be getting back together when there's no guarantee that that will actually happen. It does sometimes, especially in high school, but it's not healthy to think this way for very long after a breakup.
The reality hits that you're alone again.
After you get over that initial processing of the breakup, the reality hits you that you're all alone again. It can be a pretty unsettling feeling to suddenly be alone again when you start getting older because that feeling of loneliness just gets worse and worse. It can be a little overwhelming when you're in this stage of the breakup process.
You feel like you'll never find anyone as good as them again.
This is a common feeling when you breakup with your S/O in high school and goes with the feeling that your world is ending now that your relationship ended. You'll feel like they were the most important person in your life and that there's no way that you'll ever find someone as good as them for the rest of your life.
You know you'll find someone new eventually but it still hurts.
When you go through a breakup in university, you've become a little bit more realistic. You know that this breakup isn't the last one that you'll ever have and that eventually you're going to find someone new. That fact isn't all the comforting though because your current breakup is still fresh and it still hurts.
You constantly talk about your feelings with your friends.
Your friends are there to support you through everything and breakups are no different. But in high school the feelings are so intense that you can't help talking about how upset you are with your friends constantly. That is, until you get over it.
You only vent to your friends when you need to.
In university, you know your friends are there to talk when you need to vent but you know when to hold back. You learn how to handle most of your emotions on your own and go to your friends for help when the really tough ones come up and you need some emotional support.
For Coping With The Breakup, Click "NEXT"
You'll delete all your pictures with them off all social media accounts.
Chances are you posted cute pictures of them on their birthday, you two going on adorable dates and just general relationship pictures while you were together. Once you break up in high school the first thing you're going to do is delete all those pictures to pretend like they never existed in your life and to show them and everyone else that you're doing just fine without them.
You eat all your feelings in junk food with your best friends.
The best way to start coping with a breakup is to eat all your feelings in junk food with your best friends. Preferably by having a major movie marathon at the same time. Maybe this won't make you feel better immediately, but it sure will help to start the healing process.
You start dressing up more to go to school everyday.
The next stage of dealing with your breakup is to start dressing up in your best outfits to go to school. Since you know you're going to run into them in the hallways you want to look your best whenever you do, so that means looking cute every day. Sure it may be superficial, but if it makes you feel a bit more confident, why not?
You go out and party with your friends every weekend.
After you've had your junk food/movie marathon stage, next you'll want to get back out there with your girls and start having fun, or at least trying to. You'll get dressed up, do your makeup super cute and dance the night away with your girls. This stage isn't even about finding someone to hookup with, it's just about having fun again and not wallowing in your breakup anymore.
Start flirting with their friends or other people.
Not everyone did this after their breakups in high school, but it is pretty common. We have to admit it though, we were all a little immature back in our teenage years and a lot of us did silly things like this because we thought it would hurt the other person's feelings. We thought by hurting them it would help us get over our broken hearts. Yeah, it definitely doesn't work that way.
You get a drastic haircut.
This is a common way that people cope with rough breakups because we feel like changing our look will change the way we feel. It's not the smartest idea but it's definitely does help in some way. Changing your look from long hair to a cute bob or even dying it a fun colour can be liberating and exciting!
You avoid them in the hallways at school.
This is a classic move after you broke up with your S/O in high school. The best way to try to cope with the breakup is to avoid seeing them in the hallways at all costs. Of course it would be inevitable that you would see them at some point, but you'd do your best to run the opposite direction when the bell rang.
You start exercising consistently.
After you changed your look, the next step to coping is to join a gym or some kind of workout class to get back in shape. This is a great way to start getting that 'revenge bod' or just to get those endorphins flowing and to start feeling happy and healthy again.
For Starting To Move On, Click "NEXT"
In High School
You focus on spending time with your friends.
The best part of moving on from an ex in high school is how much extra time you have to spend with your BFFs now! You don't have to choose between plans with them or him and you feel incredibly free and ready to enjoy yourself and your life again.
You reconnect with old friends.
When you're in relationships as you get older, it's so easy to let go of friendships to focus on your relationship. It happens all the time. But now that you're single again the best thing is to reconnect with those friends that you let slip through the cracks and spark up those lasting friendships again.
You don't feel the need to shit talk your ex to your friends anymore.
Now that you're moving on you're getting out of that stage where you felt like you had to tell your friends, and anyone who would listen, what a terrible human being your ex was. It's not about him anymore it's about you feeling better.
You find new hobbies and passions to keep you busy.
This could literally be anything! Maybe you loved doing something like pottery before you started your relationship and eventually stopped doing it, or maybe you just want to try something completely new. Whatever it is, now is the time to go for it.
Focus on yourself and your future.
Now that your relationship is over it's the perfect time to focus on you and only you. Start thinking about where you want to go to school, what you want to study and the grades you'll need to get yourself there. Thinking about your future can be super exciting when you're in high school.
Focus on school and your future career.
The best thing to do in this stage is to throw yourself into your studies and start acing those classes. Think about whether you want to continue studying in a graduate program or what kind of career you want to get into. Now's the time to really focus on your future.
Find a new person to crush on.
The final stage of moving on in high school is finding an all new person to crush on! This is the best part of high school and moving on because you can distract yourself with starting to think about future possible relationships.
Download a dating app and get back out there.
Dating apps obviously aren't a prerequisite for becoming single, they're not everyone's thing. But a lot of people choose to use them because they make it that much easier to meet new people and who knows, you could find someone you really like!
For Finding A New Relationship, Click "NEXT"
Stare at them in class and admire them from afar
Once you've found your new crush in high school, you're basically going to look like a stalker with how much you stare at them. You admire them from afar in class, when you see them in the hallways and in the cafeteria at lunch.
You stalk their social media accounts thoroughly.
You won't get to run into your crush in university as much as you did in high school. So the next best thing is to stalk them over social media, thoroughly. This means going through their Facebook, Instagram and watching their Snapchat stories over and over again.
Talk to them about homework assignments to strike up conversations.
You'll asked them what you missed in History class last week or text them to see what the bio homework was because you can't remember. It's all just a way to be able to talk to them and strike up a conversation while being super casual at the same time.
You'll strike up a conversation about the lecture after class.
There's a lot of ways to meet your future S/O in university, but a common one is through classes. If there's a cute guy in your class that you're crushing on, the easiest way to talk to them is to strike up a convo after class about the lecture you just listened to. Or to study the material with them.
Flirt in the cafeteria at lunch.
One of the best places to flirt in high school was at the cafeteria at lunch time. All your friends were around and it was a big thing to work up the courage to talk to them and start flirting with everyone around.
Flirt with them over text.
Since you probably won't be running into your crush at the university cafeteria anymore, the best way to flirt is over text. Through class you can exchange numbers and from there the flirting begins! It's the best way to see if a person likes you enough to start actually dating.
Go on your first date to the local ice cream shop.
This is just one version of any number of innocent high school dates that you would go on with your new crush. It's simple, sweet and it gives you tons of opportunities to talk and have a good time.
Go on your first date to the university bar.
The best place to go on a first date when you're in university is to your university's bar for casual drinks. This gives you a fun way to get to know each other and loosen up so you're not super nervous the whole time.