6 Pieces Of Dating Advice I Wish Someone Had Told Me Sooner

Hope this helps...

Our dating world is a fvcking mess out there, there's no pretty way of putting it. Between ghosting and zombie-ing and all the other -ings, sometimes it's hard to understand what it all means.

This article has been written hundreds of times, by any and every publication possible and I'm not going to say this is some totally new advice you've never heard of before, but this is the advice that's always helped me, that's always pointed me in the right direction and that I still believe in. Sometimes you just need words of affirmation from a random article on the internet that finally makes you believe "ya, he's definitely not worth my time'.  Hopefully you too can find some tid-bit of information that can help you with whatever dating sitch you find yourself in.  

1. It's okay to be single. 

I personally hate all the 'single-girl-who-drinks-too-much-and-loves-pizza-and-is-undatable" memes. Yes, they're funny in a self-depricating way, but they also point to a bigger problem: there's something fundamentally wrong with you if you're single. Some of my best friends are in their mid-twenties and never had a boyfriend, and that's TOTALLY OK. Yes, it's nice to have someone there, but don't expect someone to swoop in and suddenly complete you (only you can do that, duh). 


2. Be selfish. 

You're number one priority is you and being selfish is just a synonym for 'looking out for your best interests'. If someone isn't making you happy but your afraid to hurt their feelings by ending it, just remember that your happiness is more important than theirs.  It's okay to be selfish, future you will thank you for it. 


3. Don't lose yourself in someone else. 

Probably the best piece of advice anyone has ever given me and it's so, so simple. Don't become so consumed in your relationship that you forget about the world around you. Because relationships do end, and what do you have left if you've given every part of you away? Have your own interests, take time for yourself, be your own damn person.


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4. Stop overanalyzing. 

Stop overanalyzing everything, but especially social media. 99% of the time whatever it is your worried about is a figment of your imagination. If your worry doesn't go away and you still feel like something is up, then maybe there's a bigger problem here. Either whoever you're with is actually trash, or you have issues of your own you need to figure out. 


5. Just text them back, gdamn it. 

If you want to text them, text them. Fvck the stupid 'wait this much time rule'. If this person likes you enough, they'll want to hear from you and if they don't, then there's your answer. People who still play those kind of games are genuinely not worth your time and you can and will do better. 


6. If someone wants to make the effort, they will. 

We so often hear "the timing wasn't right.' Fvck the timing, if someone cares enough and wants something bad enough, they will find the time and make the effort. We have a strange misconception that relationships are all cute Instagram photos and fun dates and tagging each other in memes, but sometimes, it's like...really, really hard. You actually have to *gasp* put in wor. And yes, there does come a point where you have to understand that someone has other priorities besides you, but if they're not putting in the effort you require to be happy, revert to #2 and be selfish. 

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Maria Niderman