My Boyfriend's Ex Called Me And Broke My Heart
I was devastated.
It was 2011 and the termhadn't been coined yet, but that doesn't mean that they didn't exist.
I met my fuck boy at a bar... pretty cliche I know. It definitely wasn't love at first sight on my end but he was funny, charming, and genuinely seemed infatuated with me, which was flattering.
We added each other on Facebook and chatted non-stop for 2 weeks straight. During that time we had some great meaningful conversations and I began to really like him. After two weeks of bliss, I finally agreed to meet up with him again and I invited him out to an event one of my friends was hosting.
We partied in a rented hotel room, finished a couple of bottles of champagne, and laughed till we were in tears. I remember thinking that I could really see myself getting serious with this guy.
We met up again a few days later to watch a movie at my place. There weren't any sparks or butterflies when I was with him, but then again I didn't really even know what I was looking for, so I decided to just go with the flow.
Of course, he had amazing qualities: he was generous with his time, sociable, close to his family, etc ... however, those qualities didn't overshadow the fact that he also had his faults.
After almost a year into the relationship, I realized that he with a master manipulator, abused alcohol frequently, and lied compulsively. Often times, things he said and did just didn't add up and while I didn't have any proof, deep down I knew there was something wrong.
Naturally, our relationship was on a negative downward spiral and I pushed for us to take a break. It was during that time that his ex contacted me. To this day I think of it as the famous last call.
She told me that he'd been seeing her during the 11 months of our relationship. I knew he was still in touch with her (no, I had not been fooled by the male name in his phone), but I never thought it was something to worry about since the texts were really innocent.
She told me that he practically harassed her for 11 months, inviting her to sleep at his place whenever I wasn't there, sexting her daily, and inviting her out to bars with his friends whenever I decided to stay in for the night. The more she talked, the sicker I felt. I couldn't believe someone I loved and cared for could be so disrespectful from almost day 1 of our relationship.
After the call, I contacted the police station in my neighborhood. Based on his history and some of the stuff his ex told me, I was a little afraid of him and wanted to make sure he would leave me alone.
I never talked to him directly again. Not to confront him, not to break up, not even to ask why. Maybe it's petty but I completely ignored him. In my opinion, the best revenge is silence... there's nothing worse than being ignored and not having the chance to justify your actions. Not like there was much he could say to justify what he did.
This story has a happy ending: That phone call woke me up and made me realize that I was in a relationship that was toxic and that I deserved better. Of course, I was heartbroken and devastated that someone I trusted could hurt me so badly; but soon after leaving this guy, I realized what a shitty relationship I'd been in. I'm happier than I've ever been now and I'll go as far as to say that I'm glad that I answered his ex's call. She really did me a favour.
The moral here is: if you don't feel a spark from the beginning, you realize that your significant other is lying to you (even if it's about small things), and that find yourself losing confidence in your relationship, don't ignore it. People don't come around waving actual red flags to warn you off, so listen to your gut and trust yourself.
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