Signs You Are In Love Or Just In Lust
What those butterflies really mean.
When you meet someone new and the sparks are flying left and right it can be hard to tell if you're really falling in love with the person or you're so blinded by the sparkly lights and excitement of something new to realize you're really just in lust.
I speak from experience when I say the two can seem so similar when you're in the moment and starting to get close to someone, but there are some huge differences between being in love with someone and just being in lust with someone.
It's important to realize the difference because most situations where you're just in lust, it can end with someone getting hurt, and we all know that it's best to avoid that at all costs.
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You're In Love: If You Feel Comfortable Speaking Your Mind
When you're truly in love with someone you're not afraid to speak your mind and tell them how you feel. If you disagree with something they say, you're going to tell them. Healthy debates and interesting passionate discussions are what keep a relationship exciting and it's always good to hear someone else's perspective on the world.
You're In Lust: If You Say What They Want To Hear
When you're in lust you do whatever it takes to please the person you're with, even if that means hiding your own thoughts and feelings. You'll most likely agree with everything they say or not fully express how you feel about a certain subject.
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You're In Love: You Dress However You Want, Even If That's A Sweatsuit
Being in love is all about being with the person that matters, not if you're hair looks perfect and you're clothes are beautiful while you're sitting at home eating takeout for dinner. They don't care if you were your all-grey sweatsuit 3 days in a row and you don't care if they haven't washed their hair all week.
You're In Lust: If You Dress Up Every Time You See Them
Of course, dressing up for the occasional fancy date is totally fine, it's when you find yourself putting on lipstick, 3 coats of mascara and your best outfits every time you go over to their place to hang out. If you find yourself having to dress to the nines every time you see them, you might just be in lust.
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You're In Love: If You Point Out Their Mistakes
Of course, no one likes to constantly be told that they're doing things wrong, but an important part of a relationship is making each other better when you're together. To do this you have to give some construction criticism sometimes. It's just part of the deal!
You're In Lust: When You Ignore The Deal Breakers In The Beginning
If you find yourself ignoring that he always shows up late for your dates or that he never puts the cap on the tooth paste in the beginning, you can bet it's going to come up again later. Ignoring these small deal breakers in the beginning can be a sign that you're just in lust and you're not planning on being with them for much longer.
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You're In Love: If You Know All The Small Details About Them
When you're in love with someone you take the time to get to know every.single.detail about them, no matter how long it takes. You know that their favourite colour is green because their mom said it went with their eyes, you know they enjoy an hour of quiet time alone after a long day at work to destress and you know how they like their eggs because it's how their grandma used to make them. Whatever it is, you know it and you love them for it.
You're In Lust: If You Focus More On The Outside Than On The Inside
If you find yourself just focusing on how nice he looks and how happy it makes you to be on his arm out in public, you're probably just in lust. You may know that their favourite colour is green and how like their eggs in the morning but you don't know anything deeper or more personal than that.
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You're In Love: If They're The First Person You Think Of To Tell Any Sort Of News To
Whether you just got a promotion at work or you lost a close family member, the first person you want to call is them. They know exactly how to help you work through your feelings or the favourite brand of alcohol you like to celebrate with.
You're In Lust: You Hide Your Problems From Them
Well you might not necessarily hide your problems from them but you definitely don't feel comfortable talking to them about your problems. But it's also much easier to talk to someone you trust about your problems, and when you're in lust the relationship is most definitely lacking trust and closeness.
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You're In Love: You Enjoy Just Being Together
Whether that means setting up candles and cooking a nice dinner for a fancy date or just ordering takeout and watching Netflix in your PJs, anything is fun as long as you're together. You can sit in silence and be totally comfortable with each other.
You're In Lust: If You Always Need To Go Out And Do New Things Together
A fancy/exciting date every now and then is great to keep things interesting in a relationship, but if you find that every time you're with the person you're either in bed together or going out and doing new things there might be a problem. You could be in lust if you being alone together means long awkward silences.
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You're In Love: You Feel Comfortable Talking About The Future
It could mean marriage, children and settling down or it could mean big career goals and dream travel destinations. Whatever your ideas are for your life in the future, you're comfortable discussing them with your partner because you hope that they'll be in your future as well.
You're In Lust: If The Future Is Completely Unknown
When you're in lust you have no idea what the next months, or even weeks, will bring to you and your partner. This is probably because you have no idea what they want out of the relationship or even what you really want. It's fun to 'live in the moment' and go on super fun dates all the time but eventually you're going to reach a point where you have to talk about what you both really want.
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You're In Love: If You Can Spend Hours Talking On The Phone Or Texting Them
When you're in love all you really want to do is to talk to them as much as possible. This means texting all day long when you're not with each other or chatting for hours before you go to sleep. You just don't get sick of talking to them ever.
You're In Lust: There's No Real Intimacy Between You
In a relationship that's fuelled by lust, the most intimate you're going to get is when you're having sex. But we all know that sex is only half of it, you need real intimacy to fall in love.
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You're In Love: You Trust Them Completely
When they say that they're spending the night at a sports bar with the boys you don't mind at all or when he tells you he has to stay late at work there's really no doubt in your mind that he'll actually be working and happy to come home to your cuddles later that night.
You're In Lust: If You Find Yourself Being Extremely Needy
Being in lust basically equals becoming an extremely needy human. If they don't text you back for an hour you'll start thinking that 'what if they're with someone else right now' or 'what if they found someone else they like better'. It's a never-ending cycle of 'what ifs' that are exhausting and super unhealthy.
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You're In Love: You're Comfortable Making Promises To Each Other
There's no fear of making promises you can't keep when you're in love because you know you'd do anything to make the other person happy. You can promise you'll love them forever and it's probably 100% true.
You're In Lust: If There's No Real Commitment
When you're in lust you can never fully commit to the other person. You love spending time with them, going on fun dates and spending hours in bed together but there isn't any real promises being made. They may say that they love you or that you're the only person they want to be with, but that doesn't mean that they're promising to stay with you.