Relationships possess an insane power to suck us into these whirling vortexes of couch hangs, pillow talk, bad takeout, cozy sweatpants and long nights of TV binging - until we get so deep, that we may even lose touch with our true selves.
That's why breakups from long-term relationships can be so jarring. We often emerge on the other side scratching our chins like the 'thinking' emoji asking ourselves - "What do I even like anymore".
Uncoupled moments are a crucial time to recalibrate your inner mojo and re-focus your energy on the things that are most important to you; whatever that may be.
In the following pages, you will find all the ugly truth differences between guys and girls when single. We will dive into the ugly truth of going out and dissect the ugly truth of social media use. We'll go even deeper, and shed light on the ugly truth swiping and casual dating. And of course, the ugly truth of self-care while single.
Guys use newfound solo time to catch up on all the gaming and bro-hangs they missed out on while attached
I know this may come as a shock because stereotypically we imagine single dudes as girl-hungry party monsters out to chase every and any opportunity for a potential hook-up. But the real life truth is: this is not the case. In fact, it's quite the opposite.
Yes, when they find themselves single again, guys won't necessarily be making a mad B-line to the club for bottle-popping with all the scantily clad girls of the city. Because in real practical life, a smart guy knows the only thing that will get him is a dry wallet, mouth, and regrets - oh yea, and no girl.
So where guys usually find themselves, instead, is kicking back at home catching up on all the gaming, beer drinking and grunting that they missed out on while they were attached.
It's super important for a guy to socially re-fuel before getting into a new relationship so as not to resent his future girlfriend for monopolizing his precious bro-time. Because she will make sure that this will most definitely happen.
Girls use single time to score drinks from attractive strangers and shamelessly flirt and dance with guys, guilt-free
When a girl is in a relationship, getting all dolled up and going to the club WITHOUT her boyfriend is kinda like cooking a gourmet meal for one. It's truly pointless. And although other guys can admire and look - she is the only one that can truly appreciate the effort she put in. And trust me, it's a lot of effort.
So, for a girl, prime-time for partying is when she is fully unattached. Nothing feels quite as good as getting prettied up for a potential mystery man that she may meet during the night.
Also, when girls party while attached, they know that - even if their boyfriend may never find out - they will always kinda bad about getting guys to buy them drinks at the bar and close dancing on the dance floor.
All this makes single-time for a girl is the best opportunity to really let out that party goblin, with absolutely no care for what other people may think or perceive them. #yolo
Similar to browsing a restaurant menu, guys actively use social media to keep an eye out on new and eye-catching potential baes
Social media - especially the holy "Gram" - is a blessing for single guys. A prehistoric cave man - who only had a measly selection of a handful of hairy bucktoothed woman - would literally be mind blown just by the sheer numbers alone.
Guys now have fingertip access to countless women from across the globe. Even the ultra-beautiful, rich and famous. This tool obviously comes with some serious advantages for single men.
Those single guys out there who have mastered using this tool to its maximum effectiveness - without coming across as stalkerey or creepy - are the one's that win in the modern tech-fused seduction game.
If your attached, watch your boys overall social media use. A single like is pretty much meaningless, but a repeating trend and pattern can be signalling some deeper desires for freedom. Users beware.
Girls use social media to attract attention, and most importantly - to suss out and keep a leg up on the competition
Girls on the other hand use social media to casually stalk and compare themselves to other attractive girls of a similar social circle. Essentially using social media as a tool to keep a leg up on the competition.
This is why you won't often find a single girl scrolling through random guy after random guys Instagram feed. It's much more common to find her scrolling through the feed of pretty girl after pretty girl; while giving subtle backhanded compliments, of course.
Without a doubt, single girls also use social media to attract attention. By positing cute bikini pics and pouty selfies as a means to receive sweet sweet likes from anonymous digital admirers.
Because who doesn't love being on the receiving end of a constant gentle wave of adoration from total strangers. For sure, all the single ladies of this world do.
When single, guys pragmatically use dating apps when they are truly busy and have no time to meet someone new IRL
Mens are simple creatures. When presented with a tool, such as a dating app, most use it with it's original and intended purpose in mind. In other words, they will use this tool to solve the problem it was invented to solve. Simple.
In the case of dating apps, guys will use it practically, as a way of meeting girls digitally when real life becomes too routine or busy. Making it difficult to break outside of a rut and meet new people.
That's why it's common to find guys who are new to a city on dating apps because they don't have an established social circle yet, and they are using dating apps to dip their feet into the social pond.
Although, I will mention that there are a whole class of guys who are still reluctant to get on the dating app train, so they use it - similar to social media - as a way of "window shopping". However, most, will eventually cave and go onto actually sampling the goods.
Girls use dating apps superficially as a kind of game to seek temporary validation and quick ego-boots
Girls use dating apps similar to social media as a tool to attract attention and boost their ego. Of course, they know the validation is temporary, but that's all part of the fun of playing.
Of course, girls do end up going on actual IRL dates with guys from apps. But these dates rarely amount to anything tangible or real. Girls assume this outcome from the get go. At best, they will get a free meal and some drinks of it. Expectations are low.
For a girl, you have to think of an IRL internet date as just an extension to the digital platform - it's superficial and purely based on physical attraction alone. And really just serves the ultimate purpose of getting a short-term ego boost before the awkward Uber ride home.
Now, I do know a few girls that have met some winners on dating apps. Some are even now married to their Tinder hubbies. Hard to believe, I know. But always keep in mind, these lucky girls are the exception, not the rule.
Guys use casual dating as a way of having easy access to "no-strings-attached" intimacy
Ever had a guy that your "hanging out" with text on a consistent basis for Netflix and chill - but oddly enough, he never seems to make the time to actually take you out in public. Yeah, sorry to break it to ya, but chances are - he's not about to anytime soon.
We don't give guys enough credit, though. They are not all sex-hungry monsters, and they do want SOME level of emotional connection and intimacy. Yes, an endless string of one-night-stands can send even the toughest guy into a spiral of loneliness and shame.
That's why 2017 single guys best friend is the pseudo-relationships. This is a casual no-strings-attached way to have all the "best" parts of the relationship ie. song sharing, text flirting, cuddling, watching movies - without all the "lame" stuff like planning activities, dinner with her fam, remembering birthdays, and pricey gifts.
If your on the same page as him, then great! Have yourself a merry little time. However, this scenario can become incredibly painful fast, if and when feelings aren't mutual. So beware.
Girls use casual dating as a way to flirt and get on-demand attention from a carefully selected roster of guys
Did you ever hang with a girl who consistently invites you over to cook, cuddle and kiss on her couch - but then, she kicks you out at midnight when it's bed time. Chances are buddy, that she ain't gettin' jiggy with you anytime soon.
Oh, and she's doing that with at least 3-4 other guys, too. The attention she's getting from them most likely comes in different flavours. Maybe she's going on cute museum dates with one, texting the other, and going on fancy dinner dates with last - but ultimately she's using all of these guys for the same end. Attention.
This is what casual dating looks like for a single girl in 2017. It doesn't necessarily mean getting freaky in between the sheets. Girls know they hold a lot of power and they use it to their advantage.
I should probably not be giving away all this precious insight at the risk of compromising my fellow single-ladies attention-getting tactics. I've already said too much. I'm out!
When guys are single they will always hit the gym and/or make an effort to stay in physical shape
In my experience, when a guy settles into a long-term relationship, his body usually - and sadly - takes a toll. Guys who are paired up tend to get lazy about their appearance, especially in the physical fitness department.
That said, when guys find themselves single again, they will quickly run to the protein powder store and drop inordinate amounts of money instantly in an effort to get into shape, fast.
I am not saying that you need a rippling eight pack to get a date, but even the most gym-phobic guys will usually ramp up the physical activity facet of their life because they know that a well-toned bod is helpful in scoring a number.
Although I think guys should ALWAYS be trying to keep their bods in tip top shape, during solo time in particular, hitting the gym is always a win win. It always helps mentally push through the pain of a breakup, while prepping your body for the new dates to come.
Girls use solo-time to let loose and go "au naturel" to save energy and money while single
It's a phenomenon we see time and time again. While in a serious relationship, girls tend to make all the effort in the appearance department, and instantly let loose when they're are single again.
Why you ask? Well, in short, it's crazy expensive and time consuming to look insta-beautiful. Have you been to Sephora, do you see those prices?! More importantly, hair doesn't become Rapunzel-soft and luscious all on it's own.
Also, with every #couplegoal looking so goddamn pretty, attached girls often get caught up chasing insane (and unrealistic) expectations that they THINK their boyfriends have. That's why bouts of single times are important for girls, as it's a time for them to get in touch with their true core selves.
Free from the bounds of clumsy flattening irons, leaky foundation tubes and weekly wax appointments - we can finally spend time on the truly important thing. Ourselves.