What He Says Vs. What He Actually Means
Decode the mysterious male language.
Everyone says that men are inherently simple creatures. They think with about 3 things all the time: sex, food and sleep. But that's not always true, at least women don't think so. We're constantly confused about what they're saying to us and what the true meaning behind their words are.
Just like men are confused about what we mean, we're just as confused about what they mean. That's what happens when you're dealing with the opposite sex, they're always a mystery!
But luckily, women and even men themselves have started to decode the mysterious male language so that we can begin to know exactly what they mean even when they're saying something completely different.
In the next few pages I'll go through some of most common things guys say on the first date, during an argument, when he's flirting, when you're going out, and during a breakup and what he really means when he says it.
For What He Says On A First Date, Click "NEXT"
How are you still single?
This is a common question that a guy will ask on first date that will probably stump girls every time. If the date is going well, this question might come up but it definitely doesn't mean exactly what he's saying.
This date is going well, but are other guys into you or is there something wrong with you?
He's really just feeling insecure when he asks this question on a first date. He's attracted to you and he probably thinks you're smart and funny, which in his mind means there's a catch. He's trying to figure out if there's a reason he should be running in the other direction.
My ex was crazy.
How many times have you heard a guy talk about his ex as if she was the most insane person in the world? Yeah, probably pretty often. This might even come on a first date if talking about exes end up on the table. Most guys will immediately say that their ex was totally crazy and that's why the relationship failed.
She was sane at the beginning but I probably made crazy by the end.
His ex probably did go a little crazy at the end of their relationship but there's no way that he didn't play a part in making her that way. Their relationship didn't end well but he'd rather blame it all on her than admit he had some faults too.
I never watch porn.
Porn is still a taboo subject. Guys get criticized for watching too much of it and girls get criticized for watching it at all. There's really no way to win on the subject of porn, but it could come up on a date at some point. If it does, he'll probably deny that he watches it at all.
I watch a lot of porn I just don't want you to judge me.
If he says he doesn't watch porn, he's straight up lying to you. He definitely watches a lot of porn, most likely more than once a day. Maybe in the past he was caught by a girlfriend and from now on he doesn't want to admit it because he's afraid you'll judge him or freak out about it.
I'm not looking for anything serious right now.
The subject of what you both want from a relationship is bound to come up on the first date. It's good to set expectations for your relationship and make sure both people are on the same page. However, guys pull the 'I'm not looking for anything serious right now' line so often it's almost cliche at this point.
I'm really not looking for anything serious right now.
If he says he's not looking for anything serious right now, he definitely means it. It's best not to assume he's just not sure or that he'll change his mind eventually. Nope, he's just looking for someone to jump into bed with him for a while and then move on before things get serious. At least he's being honest though.
For What He Says During An Argument, Click "NEXT"
I'm not angry.
During an argument, a lot of guys will say that they're not angry at something that they're fighting about. Women will automatically think that they're lying and they just don't want to admit it because that's what we do, but sometimes that's not true for guys.
I might be a little angry but I'll get over it in 10 minutes.
He might be a little angry in the moment about whatever you're arguing about, but guys are different from girls because they don't hold onto things for that long. He'll get over whatever he's angry about in like 10 minutes so if you let it go, he'll let it go that much faster.
That's not what I meant.
When you're in an argument and your guy says something that seriously pisses you off, you're going to get angrier. He'll most likely try to backtrack by saying that he didn't mean what he said and that he actually meant something else completely.
You took that way worse than I thought so now I have to backtrack.
He really didn't expect you to take whatever he said so badly so now he has to try to take back what he said. He probably does mean what he said but he really just doesn't want you to freak out anymore.
You're overreacting/being overly dramatic.
Guys pull this line out all the time during arguments with their S/Os because they want to completely dismiss their feelings and avoid all the blame. If you hear this line, it's probably best to run in the opposite direction because this is not what they mean at all.
I'm actually the crazy one but I want you to think you're the crazy one.
This is actually a really manipulative line that a lot of guys use on women to make them think they're crazier than they really are. It's a form of gaslighting, which is a tactic that manipulators use to gain power over someone else. It dismisses your feelings even though they're completely valid. So watch out for this one and run in the opposite direction if you hear it!
After an argument is over, or a guy wants it to be over, he'll end it with an apology to try to move on as fast as possible. Maybe he'll even include chocolates or flowers to try to make up for whatever argument that you two had and show you that he really cares.
I don't regret whatever made you mad but you're upset so I feel like I should apologize.
He probably doesn't regret whatever it was that made you argue in the first place, whether it was that you caught him texting another girl, ditched you to hang out with his friends, or didn't call you back when he said he would. He just sees that you're upset and he knows he has to apologize to get past it.
For What He Says When He's Flirting, Click "NEXT"
You have beautiful eyes.
This is a classic compliment that men give women when they're flirting. It's also one that women love receiving from someone they think they're attracted to but aren't quite sure yet. It's a great way to start hitting on someone.
I think you're sexually attractive but I don't want to be creepy.
I don't want to be a creep and compliment your body so the next best thing is complimenting your eyes. This way you know that I'm into you but that I'm a respectable guy so that I don't scare you off.
We Should Go Get A Coffee Sometime.
If you're flirting and it's time to move onto setting up a real date, coffee is the go-to move. You want to continue getting to know each other and continue flirting so setting up a date is a no-brainer.
I don't want to commit to a whole meal with you but I want to show you that I'm interested.
Coffee is a good first date option because you don't have to commit to having an entire meal with that person. Maybe the date goes badly and you both want a way to leave whenever you want without the pressure of having to make awkward small talk while you wait for the bill. It's also a good way to keep things casual.
I like a girl who doesn't wear any makeup.
A lot of guys are adamant about not liking girls who wear tons of makeup these days. They're all about the 'natural look' and know what you look like when you wake up in the morning sans foundation and mascara.
I have no idea what I'm talking about but just don't go crazy with the makeup.
He really has no idea what he's talking about when he says he'd rather you not wear makeup because chances are he can't tell the difference when you do and when you don't. He can tell when you go hard core with the makeup though and some guys prefer girls to go with a more natural look. But who really cares right?
How do you know that guy?
Maybe you're out at a bar with your friends and you run into a guy you're friendly with. Or you bring up a guy friend in conversation with him. Chances are he's going to ask you about your relationship with that guy.
Have you slept with that guy?
What he really wants to know is if you've ever slept with that guy. He could be asking because he's threatened or feels jealous of him or maybe he just thinks he looks like a jerk and is questioning your standards. Could be either one, honestly.
For What He Says When You're Going Out, Click "NEXT"
You look amazing in that dress.
This sure does sound like a really nice compliment, right? Well, I'm sure he does mean it but he definitely has another meaning behind this one.
Can we please leave now?
Chances are you've tried on at least 20 outfits and asked him how you look in every single one of them. Then you took an additional hour to do your makeup and maybe even too some selfies because you looked amazing. At this point he really just wants to leave the house now.
I'm not drunk at all.
When you go out, sometimes your guy just wants to let loose and enjoy himself. If he's a drinker, maybe he'll end up taking it too far and you'll end up asking him how much he drank and whether he's already plastered.
I am completely drunk.
If you ask him if he's drunk he's automatically going to tell you that he's completely find and totally sober. This is a straight up lie, he's wasted. He lies because he doesn't want you to get annoyed at him even though he knows he's going to act like a drunk idiot for the rest of the night while you take care of him.
You're going out for a girls night? Aw, wish we could hang out but we'll do it another time.
Every now and then you're going to head out with your girls to drink, gossip and talk about boys until you end up at the local pizza shop scarfing down greasy slices. He'll say that he wishes you two could have hung out but he knows spending time with your girlfriends is important to you.
Oh ya, I get a night out with the boys!
When you go out for a night with the girls, he feels free to go out for a night on the town with the boys without feeling guilty about it. He can drink as much as he wants and act like a total idiot with his buddies without embarrassing himself in front of you or you getting annoyed with him.
I don't think you should wear that out.
He's probably not saying that he doesn't like your outfit, he actually really likes it. Most of the time guys won't have any opinion on your clothes at all but sometimes they'll voice their opinions when you're going out in something extra slinky.
You look amazing but I'm afraid other guys will notice you too.
I'm sure he loves whatever you're wearing but he feels uncomfortable by the fact that other guys will love it too. He's just insecure that you'll find someone better when you dress up extra nice.
For What He Says During A Breakup, Click "NEXT"
You deserve better than me.
If you're hearing this then you're most likely being broken up with. Guys can be really sneaky when they're breaking up with someone because they really want to avoid dealing with your feelings at all costs.
I will never give you what you need in this relationship.
He probably knows how good of a person you are but he just can't measure up in the relationship. He can't handle the pressure of a real relationship and knows you deserve better. He can't give you the time, effort or commitment he knows you want and deserve so he's telling you to move on. So go do it!
I've been really busy/swamped with work lately.
Maybe this is true, but it probably isn't. If a guy really likes you and wants to see you, then he'll make the time to do it. So if he pulls out this line, you should know that it's probably the end of the relationship.
I've really just lost interest in you.
If he makes an excuse about how busy he's been with work/school/friends then he's probably just lost interest in you and is ready to move on. It's harsh but it's the truth. If he really likes you, he'll push everything aside to spend all his time with you. So if he doesn't do this, he just isn't into it.
We need to take a break/I need some space.
Sure, couples take breaks all the time and get back together. But this isn't always the case, especially when the guy is requesting it. I'm not saying that the relationship is completely doomed but it's pretty likely that it is.
I want to break up with you I just would rather put it off.
Most likely when a guy asks for some space or a break, he's likely trying to figure out a way to breakup with you without actually doing it. He either has been trying and you haven't been getting the hint, he wants you to force to do it for him or he just wants to put it off for as long as he can.
Nothing for over a week.
Sometimes guys will just disappear or 'ghost' you when they want to breakup. It's a classic move and lots of girls do it too. We all know how hard breaking up is and not everyone is man/woman enough to do it to your face.
He's not into you anymore but doesn't want to be straight up about it.
It can be really nerve wracking to breakup with someone, especially if you care about them and don't want to hurt their feelings. Guys will avoid you and not answer your texts/call you back when they want to break up but are just too afraid to do it to your face.