Mercury Retrograde: What It Is And Why Your Life Is Fvcked Until April
If you've never heard a friend say "Ugh, mercury is in retrograde" before, then you definitely would have no clue what it is. It's not something you learn in school, it's not taught to everyone, but you will understand when I tell you that the universe does weird AF things when mercury is in retrograde, and your whole life will make sense.
To make a long story short (even though I will explain it in detail), mercury retrograde is a two-week period where everything goes wrong in your life. It is a little bit hard to explain, but once you get the gist of it, you'll know to lookout for it. Mercury retrograde happens 3-4 times a year, and it happens when planet Mercury moves in the opposite direction of planet earth. See, the planets are suppose to move from east to west around the sun, but when Mercury moves from west to east instead, that's when it's in retrograde.
You know that feeling when you're driving on a highway, but there is a train beside you so it looks like it's going backwards however it's just moving slower than you are? That's the analogy astrologers use when describing how Mercury is in retrograde, and how it looks when our planet passes Mercury. Interesting.
Astrologers believe this is the reason why your life is so f*cked up (my words, not theirs), for a couple of weeks a year. If you already know about mercury retrograde, then you will know it's super important to be clear when communicating, to expect some delays, to not make any big decisions, and to be careful with your technology.
From March 22nd to April 15th, or any time during mercury retrograde, you need to take extra care of yourself. Hint: Don't sign any important documents, don't get back together with an ex during this time, and since mercury retrograde is upon us during the holiday season this year, try not to get into any arguments as things will be taken out of context.
If you could put a label on mercury retrograde it would be: just don't live your life for at all for a couple of weeks. However, of course that's totally impossible (even though you'll probably want to hide under your covers the entire time). Even though mercury retrograde predominately takes a hit on communication, commitment and technology, that doesn't mean you have to beware of everything. Be patient, listen, and leave extra time for traveling as there will be some delays.
There are a ton of ways you can make sure your life isn't that f*cked up until April, because the after affects are reeeeal. So here are a few suggestions:
- Meditate every morning, and set your intentions for the day. This will make sure you put good thoughts out into the universe instead of negative ones knowing that mercury retrograde might f*ck you over.
- If you find yourself being deeply affected by mercury retrograde, sage your entire life. Seriously, get out all of the negative energy. Sage can be found at any local crystal shop, not in the spices aisle.
- This is a great time to connect with someone from your past. Not an ex, and not to rehash any bad feelings. But this is a good time to reconnect with a friend that you lost touch with, and want to become friends again.
- Make sure you're extra careful with all of your belongings. Technology is super fragile during this time, and needs to be taken care of.
- Be prepared because everything will seem like shit and you will not know why. Until you remember mercury is in retrograde and you will feel a sense of relief.
It may seem crazy to some people who don't believe in astrology to think that a planet can ruin your life, but it 100% can. Even though it's not scientifically proven, it's proven through all of the crazy shit that people go through during these times.
But like I said before, try to stay calm, remember that it's only two-weeks and it will be over and done with. Until April, but that's besides the point. Anyways, good luck surviving mercury retrograde and this will be all of us during these next couple of weeks: