We all know dating is hard in 2017. There are so many online dating sites, apps, and the more you do, the more you refuse to meet anyone at a bar anymore. Your parents probably ask why you're still single, and that question releases a bunch of emotions.
Sorry mom and dad, but you'll have to wait to meet my new boyfriend until we have a great convo on a dating app, then pretend we want to go out, then magically fall in love after that. It's so simple. *rolls eyes*
Anyways, while apps like Tinder and Bumble are fun and all, they are also exhausting. So here are 31 thoughts every grl has while swiping through Bumble in Ottawa.
1. Wow, already so much better than Tinder.
2. You look so familiar... Where have I seen you before?
3. Oh, right. We matched on Tinder. Ottawa is so small.
4. Is it desperate if I swipe right again? Whatever. Doing it.
5. Okay, wow, you're cute. Wait, which one are you?
6. Who cares. They're all cute. Except the one in the Habs jersey. *swipes right*
7. Maybe I should start actually reading their bios.
8. Oh, you're an 'entrepreneur'? Let me guess, you have a marketing company...
9. You went to Carleton? Good thing I went to Algonquin. No rivalry here.
10. Why are guys 5 years younger than me showing up?
11. Where are the settings on this thing?
12. Lol, imagine putting the age to 80. Hmmm, an Ottawa sugar daddy.
13. Wow, all of your pictures are of you playing the guitar.
14. Guys love pictures playing the guitar or holding a fish, eh?
15. Tinder does not compare to Bumble. Not at all.
16. Wait, I have to be the one to message you? F*ck.
17. I'm not good at being witty on command.
18. "Hi! How's the weather treating you?"
19. Fuck, no wonder I'm single. Whatever, I want McDonald's.
20. Omg, he's holding a BeaverTail. That could totally be our first date.
21. "Cinnamon & sugar or chocolate banana?" He better pick the first one or we're so over.
22. You're only in Ottawa for the weekend? Of course you are. Thanks a lot.
23. AW! Someone extended their time on me. *looks over his profile*
24. 'Law student at uOttawa, 26 and loves working out?' Where have you been hiding?
25. Ohhh, but he only speaks French. Gatineau, should've known. F*ck.
26. Lmao, your first pic is you in front of Parliament. Must be a tourist.
27. You're new to Ottawa, eh? So I'd always be able to choose where we eat...
28. Does musician mean you play at random open mic nights in the ByWard Market? Confused.
29. All of your pics are you with a ski mask on? How am I supposed to tell what you look like?
30. But the hills at Pakenham look pretty snowy. Good.
31. Whatever. I'm switching to Bumble BFF. I don't need a man.