The Best And Worst Things About Being A Genuinely Good Person
It's both a blessing and a curse.
There are some people in this world that are inherently good, nice and kind and are all about helping the ones close to them. I like to think of myself as one of these people because, honestly, I have a hard time saying no.
Good people will always go out of their way to help those around them, which can be both a blessing and a curse. I'm sure everyone who calls themselves a genuinely good person knows this well.
It's important to show the people in our lives that we care, and the best way to do this is be do little favours for them here and there, whether they asked or not!
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- You'll have a lot of good friends
Because you're a genuinely good person you'll attract tons of people that want to be your friend because you know how to treat people well. These days everyone is mostly out for themselves so when someone finds a person that's actually caring, they'll want to hold onto you pretty tightly.
- Some people will take advantage of your kindness
Unfortunately, not everyone is going see a nice person as someone they want to be best friends with, they see them as someone they can take advantage of to get what they want. Even friends and family will know that you have a hard time saying no to people so they'll exploit your kindness, knowing that you won't push back.
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- People will be more likely to trust you
These days almost everyone has trust issues. It sounds like a bad thing to say but it's honestly true, no one wants to trust people, even their friends. But if people can tell that you're genuinely a good person, the chances that they'll actually trust you are much greater. Plus, it's really nice feeling to have someone's trust.
- You'll always put other people before yourself
When you're a really good person, you'll always think about other people's needs before your own. For example, you'll bring your friends or coworkers coffee once a week because you think they deserve it but you ignore the fact that you're wasting tons of your hard-earned money.
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- You will have more control over negative emotions
A study by Yale University showed that adults that performed a kind act during the day, even something as simple as holding the door open for someone, actually went to sleep happier than those who didn't. This showed that people who were kinder to others during the day, ended the day in a better mood and were able to keep stress and other problems off their minds.
- People won't always take you seriously
In leadership roles, people tend to take kind people less seriously since it's hard for them to see you as an authority figure. It has no reflection on your actual leadership skills, your focus on being a good person might make it hard for you to assert yourself and receive the credit you deserve.
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The Best Thing
- It makes you more attractive
China's Huazhong University performed a study using 60 expressionless photos of female faces. Participants chose the photos where the women had kinder qualities as prettier than those researchers described as "hostile" or "mean". Sure, this study only goes looks deep but it is an interesting finding!
- People will think your 'no' actually mean 'yes'
This is one of those unfortunate things that comes along with being a nice person that wants to help those around them. Once they see that you're a good person they'll think that when you say no you actually mean yes, with a little bit more convincing. For example, if you help a coworker out with work a couple times, but the next time they ask you're too swamped to help and you say no, they'll probably think you mean yes and try to convince you to help.
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The Best Thing
- Stress doesn't affect you as much
A study by Arizona State showed that a group of men and women who expressed all the things they loved about someone close to them in a letter had less cortisol (the stress hormone) in their systems even when presented with a series of stressors. Basically, simply telling someone how much you care about them or why you care about them can make you more resilient when it comes to stressful life situations.
- People will believe you have an ulterior motive
This goes with the fact that people just don't trust anyone anymore. If you're a nice person that likes to bring your coworkers coffee or treat your friend to lunch once in a while, people might actually think you're just doing it to get something in return. They'll be suspicious of you and it could lead to them not trusting you, which is kind of insane, but unfortunately true.
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- You'll have good karma
If you believe in karma, then you believe that being kind to others will eventually lead to something good coming your way in the future. Maybe it's in the form of finding a $5 bill on the street or the barista at Starbucks makes the wrong drink and you get a free coffee! Who knows what it might be, but whatever it is you'll definitely deserve it.
- You'll eventually attract needy and demanding people
Once word gets out that you're someone that likes to treat their friends well and you have a hard time saying no, people close to you might become a bit needy. If you don't have time to help them out they might start to guilt trip you or become overly-emotional and demand that you help them. It's definitely not fair, but people can be selfish sometimes.
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- It makes you happier in general
A study from Hebrew University in Israel found actual link between being kind to others and a gene that released dopamine, the feel-good transmitter in the brain. So if you're a genuinely good person, you could end up being happier yourself!
- You forget to be nice to yourself
If you're busy being kind to everyone around you, you might end up forgetting to be nice to yourself! I'm not saying to stop being nice to others, but it's always a good idea to take a minute to treat yourself well also! Take a day to care for yourself by taking a bubble bath, eating your favourite chocolate, or take yourself for a walk through nature. Whatever it is that makes you happy!
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- People will do things for you in return
Once you do a few nice things for the people around you, chances are they'll want to return the favour and do something nice for you in return. That's one of the lucky perks you'll get if you're kind to people without expecting anything in return.
- People will think you're weak
If you're a genuinely nice person, chances are people will see that as a weakness. They won't believe you have what it takes to get ahead in life and they'll view you as someone they can push around in order to get there themselves.
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- You get sick less often
There's actual research that shows people who devote more time to helping others have lower markers of inflammation in their blood stream, which means they have a better ability of fighting off infections. So if you're a genuinely good person you could spend less time suffering from your next cold!
- You'll get burnt out by always trying to please others
By constantly putting others in front of yourself, you'll find yourself burnt out and exhausted pretty quickly. Thinking of others constantly is very time-consuming so being a people-pleaser every minute of the day probably isn't the best idea.
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- You don't have to doubt your own character
If you know that you're a good person and that you treat the people around you how they deserve to be treated, then you have no reason to doubt your character. If someone tries to put you down, you won't believe them because you know that you're the BEST!
- People are shocked when you try to be assertive
If you've been labelled as the 'nice one' people will be shocked when you suddenly become assertive. They've become so used to your easy-going demeanour that your this new behaviour will be kind of shocking to them.