11 Ways To Ensure No Toronto Bartender Will Ever Serve You
Just don't do it.
There are many bars to choose from in Toronto every time you go out. Unfortunately, hardworking bartenders from the 6ix do not have an option of who to serve. We have limited choices and frankly, there is a lot of hell to put up with. Thank you to all the people who respect us and treat us properly, yet there are many of you who do not.
This list sums up every reason a Toronto bartender does not want to serve you :
1. You don't tip.
This breaks a bartender's heart everytime. The problem goes on and on and on and on... Follow the golden rule and tip the bartenders. I understand everyone works hard to make every dollar. But if you can not afford to tip a bartender a $1.05 on a 7$ whisky sour, then don't go out. The hourly wage for a bartender does not pay the bills. Drill this golden rule through your head because we survive off our tips.
Here is a TIP for you, every bartender has to tip out a certain percentage of net sales at the end of every shift. These percentages can vary from 0.05 -0 .10% and believe me, this deduction makes a huge difference. Being under tipped means we lose money that could have been in our pocket. If everyone was to tip 15%, we would live in such a happier place.
2. You're invading my personal space.
Don't touch my hand or touch any part of my body. We are here to serve you drinks and are not toys that you can play with. A security guard or a manager will be called and your a$$ will be escorted out of the bar/club immediately. If you want to enjoy the rest of the night behave and don't invade our personal space.
3. It's a huge turn off when you hit on us.
As soon as the thought of hitting on a bartender pops into your head, just stop yourself right there. Bartenders get annoyed and truthfully speaking, we don't want to hear your bullsh*t comments. No I will not meet you in the washroom, no I will not let you rock my world and no I will not go on a date with you.
If you really do like us then put in some effort and visit us more than once at work. And FYI you need to earn our phone digits, we don't just give them out for free. Our phones would ring off like a 24/7 sex line if we were to give out numbers to every person we meet.
4. Make up your mind.
If you don't know what you want to drink, think about it first and then order. There is no time for "Umm...Can I...Have... A vodka soda! No, actually a gin and tonic." Can't you see the three rows of people standing behind you waiting to order? Make up your mind.
If you're going to order 10 vodka soda's, tell us right away and don’t wait for each drink to be made before ordering the next one. We have a special skill that is called a good memory.
P.S Keep in mind we get really frustrated when you're making your decision based on prices. Don't ask us what is the cheapest drink.
5. You're wasted AF.
If we cannot understand a word you're saying, you will not be served. Do not ask dumb questions like why are you cut off and beg us for more drinks. Obviously there is a reason behind our decision. You're drunk as a skunk and we really don't like your attitude. We will not risk losing our job or the liquor license just because you want another shot of tequilla.
6. Don't wave, snap your fingers whistle or scream at us.
That is just so f*cking rude.We are not peasants and I say this on behalf of all bartenders, don't piss us off because we will purposely ignore you.Your arrogant gestures are uncalled for because we have eyes and can clearly see you. There is no reason to interrupt us when someone else is placing an order that was ahead of you. Be patient, stop complaining and wait for your turn or else GTFO.
7. You're not ready to pay.
Whether you're paying cash, debit or credit be prepared to make a payment. Yes, cash is always better especially if you're paying for a single drink. But if there are 30 people waiting to order and you don't have cash on you, don't run to the ATM. Save both of us some time and pay with a card.
8. You're repeatedly asking for water.
It's understandable that after a sweaty bump and grind you're really thirsty and need water. Water is free and it's important to stay hydrated especially when you're drinking.We don't mind pouring a glass or two, but if you are repeatedly asking for 20 cups of water we will get frustrated. Are you popping Molly? You might as well just ask for a pitcher of water.
7. Stop making out in front of the bar.
Go get a room and stop making out with randoms in front of the bar. You're scaring people away with your slobber and no one is buying drinks from our bar because of you. There are plenty of corners to make out in. Don't stand or lean at the bar either, you're blocking people from making their way to order a drink. And your presence is taking up a lot of valuable space.
8. You want a stronger drink.
News flash, two ounces of alcohol is more than one, so if you want a strong drink order a double. Yes, you have to pay for a double and no we will not pay money out of my own pockets to support your drinking habits.
9. Just one more drink!!!
It is past 2:00 o'clock and it is against the law to serve alcohol. We don't care if it's 2:03, you are not getting a drink. Go home and drink your sorrows away in bed.
10. We don't want to talk to you.
It is plain and simple, there's nothing to talk about. If you're an interesting person perhaps we can converse at the beginning of the night. Come talk when you're sober. But after an 8 hour shift there is no way in hell we want to hear your drunk nonsense. Don't ask at 2 am, what are you doing later? Obviously going to bed, da fuq.
11. Don't forget to close your tab.
Leaving without making a payment bites us in the a$$ more than you think. Most places will make bartenders take care of the bill because you drunkenly forgot to pay. So I just payed your 350$ tab and then I tipped out 21$ that I never got.
We are not lawyers, doctors or politicians. But we do prepare your drinks for a night of fun. Hopefully after reading this list, people will start appreciating our profession.