13 Types Of Torontonians The Whole City Hates
The absolute worst.
Photo cred - Mekael Dawson
The majority of Torontonians are friendly, fun people who enjoy partying, music, and taking care of business. Then there's some folks who take all the fun out of living here. You know who we're talking about, but in case you don't, here are some of the types of people who give Toronto a bad name.
Rush hour drones
They'll shove past you on the sidewalk or the subway. They'll push their way into a streetcar that has no room for them. They'll knock over old ladies on the street without batting an eye. These people have no sense of right and wrong.
Queen West Fedora wearers
Why does anyone still wear fedoras? Have these guys not figured out that they make them look like self-important douchebags who probably have a casual hatred for women? No one at Trinity Bellwoods wants to hear you play jazz guitar, dude. Put that fedora away.
Everyone, since the dawn of time, people have hated foodies. Your obsession with expensive food is something you should keep to yourself, and not bore the rest of us with. Some of us like our dining experiences a little less Buca, and a little more El Furniture Warehouse.
Loud Assholes on the TTC
These people want you to know how cool they are. They'll have loud conversations about the party they were at in the Annex last night to people who are literally standing four inches away from them on the subway. Worse than this are people who have long, loud phone conversations on the bus, usually about how slowly the bus is going, or how there's some person sitting near the back who they'd totally bang. Get some self-awareness.
People who won't shut up about their bike
Usually found loudly talking at bars in Parkdale. That story about how you gathered and assembled all of its parts yourself at Bike Pirate was impressive the first four times we heard it. Get some new interests.
At Home DJ
You'll usually see these guys at U of T grad student house parties, but everyone has a friend like this. They come over to your place and immediately start trying to control what music is playing. If you didn't want to listen to the entire Beyonce discography, you should have stayed at home.
People who rep Toronto too hard
These are the people who make non-Torontonians think we're narcissistic assholes, when really most of us are just trying to make it to Friday so we can get loaded at Jack Astors. You don't need to bring up how much you prefer Toronto to wherever you are all the time, man.
Photo cred - Roozbeh Rokni
Rude TTC Users
These guys will not wait for you to get off the subway car before they start trying to barge into it. This is some of the most annoying shit I can imagine. Is it really that important for you to get a seat from Bloor to Dundas station?
People who don't pick up their dog's shit
Toronto's got a lot of dogs, and with them comes a lot of shit. Why would anyone think it's okay to just leave that shit on the ground and go on with their walk? You do know other people exist, right?
More specifically, if you know you walk slowly on the sidewalk, maybe don't walk in a row with everyone you know, blocking anyone else from being able to pass by you. I know you just finished your last class for the day at U of T, but the rest of us have places to be.
Indoor shade wearers
I'm not talking about occasionally wearing your shades indoors because you're really stoned or hung over. I'm talking about people constantly sitting at bars on College and Bathurst wearing sunglasses. How can you see? You know you look peculiar, right?
Photo cred- STILETTO NINJA
People who blast their music on speaker
Thanks for the invitation into your Biggie jam session, but I'm just trying to get to the grocery store. How about you use those headphones you have slung around your neck? You'll find these people at literally any subway station in the city, so good luck avoiding them.
Photo cred - Alex Martinez
"Thanks, it's vintage."
This shit is the worst. Take the compliment and shut up.