13 Ways Being A UofT Student Is Like Being A Hunger Games Tribute
Will you make it out alive?
The University of Toronto is internationally recognized for producing great scientists, laureates, writers, musicians, and professionals in almost any occupation you can think of - nothing short of what's to be expected from Canada's #1 university. But what rankings don't show is the "behind-the-scenes" bits, if you will. Here's 13 ways that being a student at UofT is like being a Tribute in the Hunger Games.
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1. Only one of you makes it out alive and into Con Hall for graduation.
And jokes on you, it's the professor.
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2. All students are divided: from Art&Sci to Eng, you'll fight 'til the end for the sake of your district.
(er, I mean, faculty).
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3. You lose more and more of your friends as time goes by.
Switching out of civil engineering and having to start all over again, transferring to different universities, failing out of Rotman, death by muttations...
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4. We're all from District 12 - dirt-poor and starving.
ROSI/ACORN has drained us of our money and we can't afford sleep, food, nor the energy to salvage our GPAs. UofT isn't called "UofTears" for nothing. So ASSU, please come save us with your free food events!
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5. We volunteered as tribute (but to no avail).
Volunteering only for the hope of saving Primrose from probable death in the 74th Hunger Games: a.k.a. attempting to salvage our future resume by applying to UofT and sticking it out. But as you know, Primrose dies and maybe our GPA will too before we graduate.
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6. Each year, the Hunger Games challenges and locations increase in difficulty.
First, a relatively decent forest. Next... a rain forest with a giant creepy mechanical clock that attempts to kill you guys off, 1/12 at a time? ... what?
From "I'm going to die" to "If I get hit by a car in King's Circle on my way to the exam, will I get 100%?," the difficulty as you progress into your higher years at UofT is unforgiving.
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7. Your life might just about be set in a fictional world like Panem, and further secluded into a dome controlled by game makers.
Head buried in books, "midterms" lasting up to 2 months, making Robart's your quasi-permanent residence based on the hours you spend in there... there's absolutely no time to have a life.
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8. The Capitol = Hart House.
The centre of all social events. Only the wealthy (students riddled with excess time!) can spend their days here, enjoying themselves.
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9. Every TA is your personal Haymitch.
Will go on strike if no alcohol. Will go on strike if no money. They're supposed to help and they kind of do only if satiated with the desired items.
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10. You're caught between your two love interests.
Peeta or Gale? Sleep or GPA? Sometimes, being a UofT student, you can't even win one of them over.
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11. The care packages you receive from your dear sponsors keep you alive.
With all the busy-ness of eternal "mid"terms and lack of reading weeks at UofTears, there's nothing like receiving a bunch of pre-cooked meals from mom - that's sure to pull you through the week and then some!
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12. The beginning of each Hunger Games is a bloodbath, and so are the terms at UofT.
You'll expend all your energy doing those some-hundred pages of readings at the beginning of the Fall term (the beginning of making Robarts your second domicile), but when the time comes to defend yourself against exams and written assignments later in the "game," you're completely drained of energy and resources.
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13. You frequently get that feeling of being "brainwashed" like Peeta in Mockingjay.
You haven't had your Tim's fix, you've pulled one-too-many all-nighters in a row, Blackboard isn't working again, your fee on ROSI is overdue, etc. etc. and you've got no more energy to fight back. Just let that STA220 lecture wash right over you.