17 Stages Of Course Selection Every Student Goes Through
May the odds be ever in your favor.
Ah school, the grown up version of the s-word hesitantly rolls off every students tongue. When the end of April looms, the topic of school tends to be dismissed, although it's on everybody's mind. The internal discourse of running potential pro's and con's of summer school leaves a residual moral conflict: your mind says yes, but your heart says no. Or, you ruin your summer with the constant thought of back to school. Summer school may be the right thing, but your sense of FOMO is heightened while looking through the course catalogue.
Summer is the only time of the year when ignorance is tolerated, hell, it's encouraged – yet, you know analyzing Plato's Dialogues now means less stress come September. If you don't do summer school, you might spend the warmer months dreading what courses to take in the fall term. You know you're behind on credits and will probably end up over the recommended course load (again). And regardless of how organized you've jotted down the course codes, the time sensitive process seems to always go array. But you're proud to make it out alive and promise to be more responsible. You're may even get so hyped about your newfound academic potential you forget these 17 stages of course selection:
1. Your short-lived sense of self-pride:
..."Wow, I'm responsible AF," quickly followed by, "yeah, I'll probably fail".
2. The pep talk to remind yourself why school is important:
...Repeat after me: "do it for the six-figure income".
3. Then remind yourself you'll probably never make six figures:
..."What am I doing with my English major again?"
4. Become blinded by an overwhelming sense of hope:
..."It's going to be great! My prof sounds sick, I'll make new friends…"
5. Ask all the people you know if they're doing the same course:
...Because there's strength in numbers.
6. Suppress that inevitable sense of regret for as long as possible:
...No seriously, why am I taking this?"
7. Confirm that sense of regret by creating a hypothetical terrible first day:
..."What if my prof's a jerk and I'm the only 4th year student."
8. But you imagine a hottie would be in the same course:
...So you decide to keep it thanks to your vivid imagination.
9. But you begin to wonder if everybody else is either really dumb or really smart for taking this course:
...And you try to figure which category you belong to.
10. You freak out over the time limit so your vision blurs:
..."Why is there no ENG227? Oh wait it says ENG217, nevermind".
11. You decide to watch a few snaps to clear you mind:
...Well that was a dumb idea.
12. And your computer decides to freeze:
...That's it. Game over. *Drowns in tears*
13. You have not one schedule conflict, but three:
..."What the hell am I supposed to do now?? Maybe it's a sign I should drop out."
14. So you actually contemplate dropping out (again):
...But you've made it too far to quit now.
15. Then you realize your schedule's not that bad:
...Once you drop Literature According To Austen you realize your schedule is pretty bomb.
16. You get a little excited for back to school season:
...The potential, the knit sweaters, the smell of fresh books...
17. But you end up finding yourself craving a PSL in 40 degree weather:
...But it's okay because you just finished another session of course selection!