20 Things You Just Don't Do In Toronto
Don't do that, it's tacky.
Photo cred - SCC
We all want to fit in. From a very young age the desire to be a part of something is instilled in us. We all want to be accepted by the people surrounding us, engage in similar activities as them and have a happy well-rounded life.
If you reside in Toronto, you live in one of the best cities in the world! However, sometimes there are people that you come upon in Toronto and who make it difficult to be your true self. Some may give you the cold shoulder, or even worse the Torontonian stank eye.
There are certain things that are not acceptable to do in Toronto. Therefore, I have compiled a list of 20 Things You Just Don't Do In Toronto, that will help you avoid being the black sheep.
1. Cheer for the Montreal Canadiens.
Do I really have to explain this one?
2. Walk in a straight line on the sidewalk.
Seriously people. Walk in a straight line and do not take your dearest time. Especially during rush hour.
3. Confront a cyclist.
You've been warned. (Please note: I may have just saved your life)
4. Be the first person on a streetcar & holding everybody up by asking the driver a million questions.
This is Toronto, asking questions and not knowing where things are is a sign of weakness.
5. Strike up a conversation with someone who is wearing headphones.
This isn't a small town. We are not friends. Don't talk to me.
6. Ride in a Rickshaw.
Do I really need to tell you how ridiculous this is? This isn't Thailand. You're not on vacation. Odds are you're some stupid intoxicated 20 something year old girl going to a club and thought the boy pulling this sad cart along was cute.
7. "Do you have any regular beers on tap?"
Go back to Newmarket/Keswick/Lake Scugog. There are a billion of craft beers to choose from. Torontonians fiercely support local breweries in and around the Toronto area.
8. Take a million pictures in the distillery district
We get it. It's so pretty here, but enough with the cameras and the posing, we're all just trying to have a good time.
9. Say sentences like "I can't wait for Nuit Blanche this year."
Everyone knows this event sucks. Say anything contrary and you are lying through your teeth.
10. Admit you love street meat.
It's so gross...But actually it's a perfectly delicious meal you enjoy in the company of no one, forget it ever happened and don't tell a single soul about it. We didn't have this conversation.
11. Talk really loud on public transit.
Everyone is tired and irritated. Your voice is driving all of us insane. This really should be a zone of silence. Please STFU.
12. Engage with someone on the street who wants you to sign their petition
Good luck getting out of that conversation. True Torontonians know to steer clear of other people causes because everybody knows it's really all about them. FOP (fuck other people).
13. "What are tapas?"
GTFO. This is 2014, you live in Toronto, REALLY?
14. Say that Montreal is better then Toronto.
Well why don't you just move there then?
15. (For the Men) Wear anything but skinny jeans.
A loose fitting pant is a thing of the past. Toronto men know this and dress accordingly.
16. Suggest eating at Jack Astor's.
In a city filled with a myriad of restaurant options, suggesting this place is a serious faux-pas.
17. Hate on or not engage in brunch.
But how does one live...Without brunch? What else could a Torontonian be possibly doing on a Sunday if not brunch?
18. Talk smack about fish tacos.
They are the bomb, say otherwise and you may be thrown into Lake Ontario.
19. Go to yoga in a park.
This isn't Vancouver, go to a real gym.
20. Listen to music without headphones on public transit
This is an extremely obnoxious move.GTFO buddy.