Why It's Totally Okay To Feel Lonely
Not always easy, but worth it.
Yes, it's summer. And for some reason, the summer months are filled with pictures of people on beaches, going on adventures, enjoying their lives, more so than the majority of other seasons. In many ways, this is a time during the year in which single people adore. Nightlife is more active, people are able to drive sleeker cars and wear fancier things; skin turns to bronze, hair to gold, and life, several shades better.
And yet, there might be a sadness that comes with the season. I'm not trying to quote Lana Del Ray, but as much fun as a single summer can be, it can also take a toll on the heart.
A lot of people are alone. That's not a grandiose statement, but a simple fact. A lot of people don't have romantic, or even platonic companionship. And that's not something to be shunned or pitied for.
Loneliness is common. More so than a cold. Everyone feels it, no one wants to talk about it.
My question is why.
There's a stigma in our society nowadays, that you have to be with someone to be happy. That if you are alone, it means you are missing something. Sad, and incomplete. There is so much pressure built on the shoulders of young, single millennials, to be one of two things: in a relationship and happy, or single and euphoric. I for one, am neither of those things, and I'm not afraid to say it.
I get lonely. Like I'm sure most of you do. And while a lot of the time it might be a difficult feeling to have, it's important for us to process. As much as it hurts the heart, loneliness makes us vulnerable. When we're lonely we want to connect; with people of the opposite sex, the same sex, strangers we don't know. Sometimes its our loneliness that brings us closer to people we wouldn't even dreamed of speaking to, giving us gifts we didn't know we could receive.
Being alone can make us reflective, introspective, and start to think about ourselves. What we value, what we think we need. I had a professor once that said she sat on her college bunk bed, thinking about how she was afraid of being alone, and simply asked herself why? Why was she afraid? What was going to happen to her? Could she function on her own? (Spoiler: She could, and is to this day one of the most badass people I know.) When all you have is you and your thoughts, you can better understand yourself, and how you want to live your life.
Loneliness has such a bad rap that it can be easy to want to suppress it; with friends who want to pour tequila and compliments down your throat. Sometimes the best thing to do is to sort through what you're feeling with someone that cares, to get a better grasp of what you want and how to get it.
If you do want to be with someone, you have to remember that they will come in time. It sounds like the biggest cliche ever - but it's true. You will go through dirtbags and angels, ones that make you cry and hearts that you will break, but eventually, they will come. And you will forget all the crap that came before them.
The biggest thing to remember is that there is nothing wrong with you. You are amazing. Your heart might be fragile and tender but it is a good one, and it deserves of being loved the way that you love other people.
Loneliness is something that everyone feels and that no one should be afraid of. You can and should embrace when you feel like you are unstoppable, and when you feel like you need to stop for a while. Your loneliness may make you sad, but it can also make you feel and learn things you didn't know were possible.
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