Why Choosing Yourself Over Any Relationship Is Not Selfish
Don't be afraid to do you.
Regardless of where you go and what you do with your life, you must always choose yourself. You are the most important person in your life no matter what. Whether you agree or disagree, being content with who you are is the most important aspect of maintaining your mental and emotional well-being. And if you are struggling with who you are, it is because you have started neglecting yourself and keep putting your significant other before you. Sometimes it is easy to forget about our emotional health when we are so focused on others. But you are actually worth more than you give yourself credit for.
For a long time, I though choosing yourself was a selfish decision and putting everyone elses' wants and desires before your own made you a better person. I thought putting other people's happiness above my own would make me happy. But it does not, and sacrificing yourself for the ones you love is not always the right choice. Especially when it comes to toxic relationships - whether that is friends or a significant other. You also can't fault your partner for choosing themselves over you either.
Choosing yourself is usually deemed as selfish, but it is actually largely misunderstood. Choosing you is not about being unethical or deceitful or trying to get ahead in life by putting down others. Choosing you is not about getting what you what, when you what it by whatever means possible. That is just called being rude. Some people would rather remain in a stagnant state than admit they want to pursue their own passions, thus they never choose themselves.
So if that is not what choosing you is all about, then what does "choosing you" actually mean? Choosing you means you focus on your goals and dreams and make sure you reach them, or at least try your very best. Choosing you means you stop pretending to be interested in things you don’t particularly care for, or simply get involved in things because other people around you are. Choosing yourself frees you up to live life on your own terms and enjoy your life by exploring the things that genuinely interest you. And sometimes the only way to do that is by being on your own.
No matter what job you take, no matter what grades you get, no matter how many kids you have (or don't have), whether you are single or not, you should never let those things define you and you must remain true to who you are. Do not allow yourself to be overwhelmed by all these things which are actually external to who you really are. The sum of your identity is far more than who you are with, what you do or the amount of money in your bank account. You are worth more than the numbers on the scale, the kind of shoes you wear or even the number of followers you have on Twitter. So many people are afraid of who they are and don’t know their identity, so they clutch vainly at these things in an effort to hide their true selves behind a false image.
Whether you are a model in a magazine or you spend your time studying chemical bonds, whether you are one of the cool kids or would rather hangout by yourself, you are beautiful, smart and unique. You are never too much and you are always enough. But in order for someone else to take note of that, you must accept that yourself first and foremost. Choose to be known for the person you were born to be, the one who existed before you allowed the titles, labels and possessions to take over. It is okay to step away from the ones we love in order to better ourselves.
The sum of your identity is more that just who you are dating or who you are friends with. Choosing you means you make self-care a top priority and make decisions which are conducive to the health of your mind and soul. When you truly choose yourself, you make choices that will build you up in the long run rather than choosing things that provide instant gratification. Work hard and be humble - who you truly are will naturally shine through. Choose to protect yourself; don't repeatedly put yourself into a situation that will harm your mental health and affect your emotional well-being.
Rather than making you selfish, choosing you actually allows you to live truthfully and to be the best version of yourself. Fulfilling your potential and taking care of yourself first, means you are better equipped to help others. By letting go of people who no longer add value to our lives, we can let our true selves shine through. Oftentimes, we put on a strong face and pretend that ignoring our own needs is selfless. But in all honesty, choosing yourself takes a lot of courage. It is time to stop hiding behind the desires of the relationships in your life and choose yourself.