How To Turn A Vancouver Fvckboy Into A Man
It's not impossible
Fvckboys are perhaps the most frustrating thing to happen to this generation. They look so good, but they're so, so bad for you. You want to date them, but you know that marrying them would be a total disaster. You want them to meet your family, but don't want your mom to disown you. It's a struggle.
However, you're in luck. While fixing a fvckboy entirely is something that only time can heal, here are a couple tips to speed up the process.
1. Instead of going to the Roxy every single weekend, try and convince him to cut back to only going every second weekend.
We all know what goes down in the club, so if he only goes out three nights instead of four, then that's one less chance for him to make some terrible decisions. It's not the best, but it's a start.
2. Stop cleaning up after him
Are you his mom? No? Then why're you washing his underwear still? He's a grown ass man, make him clean up after himself. If he doesn't, then that's his problem. Let him live in his kingdom of empty Doritos bags and dirty laundry until he learns to be an adult.
3. Confront him about the atrocity that is socks and sandles.
Yes, they're super comfy. Yes, you got them for a rockin' deal on Granville Street. But please, please stop wearing them every time you leave the house. It stopped being okay once you turned 25.
4. Stop letting him think that he's a baller
Sure, he takes you to the rotating restaurant once a month for dinner and he just dropped $3,000 on that sweet watch, but what's going to happen when that runs out? If he can't budget his money and spends it like there's no tomorrow, that's a huge red flag for the future.
5. Don't let him think that you'll stick around no matter what
"I'll be with you forever and ever, no matter what." Okay, sure, but what about when he's hitting on your best friend again after you literally just finished talking about it for the 19th time this week? Or when he borrowed your car without asking yet again? If he knows you'll never leave no matter what, he's just going to keep on doing the same stuff he always does. Let him know that you won't tolerate it.
6. Correct his raging misogyny
If he throws the word "slut" around like it's nothing, proceed with extreme caution. His ex Becky is a skank because she wouldn't sleep with him? That's the most backwards thing I've ever heard.If he's at this point, it's going to be hard to change his way of thinking, but it's worth a shot.
7. Insist on putting a label on your relationship
If he says, "I don't believe in labels, but you know I love you", that's actually code for, "I'm sleeping with six other women right now". If labels make him nervous, he ain't a man yet.
8. Become besties with his whole family
There's nothing better than having his family on your side. They've known him his whole life, so they already know he isn't perfect. Having his sister or his mom on your team for when things go south will always be an advantage.
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