What She Says Vs. What She Really Means
Learn to read between the lines.
We live in a culture where we must learn how to be tactfully indirect with people, and on the receivers side, we must learn how to read between the lines. People often - and wrongly - assume that the truth might be to bold or strong for the receiver to take, so we often soften our words to smooth our social interactions. In other words, there are some invisible forces that guide our every day interactions with people.
When it comes to girls, this rule is no exceptions, and may apply even more. Girls can be the master of being indirect, and is the source of endless confusion for all the guys out there. But fear not! We are here to decipher some of the most common comments you will hear girls passively say, and what the REALLY mean.
In the next pages, we will learn what girls really mean across some different situations we frequently find ourselves in. We will look into going to a restaurant and going out. Also, we will shed some light on the read between the line during conflict, flirting and lastly just hanging out at home.
For When She Says She's Hungry, click "NEXT"
She says "Where do you want to eat"
Girls will often ask this out of sheer politeness. Don't get me wrong, many gentleman will do the same. resulting in the classic back and forth that will go on for all eternity, until you finally settle on bad takeout.
She means "I know exactly where I want to eat"
Girls have just as much of a hunger as guys do. Screw salads, we love carbs, cheese and meat just as much as the red-blooded males out there. We KNOW where we want to eat, sometimes we may not say it, though.
She says "are we walking there"
A girl will often ask a question, when she really want to make a statement. This is a pretty classic one and will often result in a the answer that she didn't expect. To all the girls out there: speak your mind! The squeaky wheel always gets the grease.
She means "Let's Uber there"
This is what she really means, that she's feeling lazy and doesn't want to walk or take the bus. Again, girls should feel OK to speak their mind, there is nothing sexier than someone who knows what they want.
She says "That's not the healthiest choice"
Girls are usually stereotyped as healthy eaters, honestly, it's pretty accurate. Although this is totally anecdotal, girls in general will eat better and more consciously than guys.
She means "Order it so I can guilt-eat off your plate"
However, this doesn't mean that we don't love greasy and junk food just as much as the guys out there. That's why girls often split desert with each other or share a plate of fries. Makes us feel a little let guilty about it.
She says "This place is nice"
When a guy makes an effort to take a girl out to a restaurant and pick a place, even if it's not our favourite choice, a girl will try to show that she at least appreciates the effort.
She means "You have terrible taste in restaurants"
What she really means, though - is that this place is not that great at all, I just don't want to hurt your feelings. Sometimes a little white lie is good, However, sometimes it pays to be honest. It's up to your discretion.
For When She Wants To Go Out, click "NEXT"
She says "I don't want to stay out late"
Girls will often say to themselves or their friends this statement before going out. Not every night has to be a rager that lasts until the sun rises, but when a girl says this to you, it truly means the opposite.
She means "I don't want to go out at all"
It truly means that a girl really just wants to hang at home in sweatpants. Why go out at all then, you ask? Good question. Well sometimes girls go out to make her friends happy. Maybe it's someones birthday, or her new boyfriend invited her to hang with his friends - overall she just can't find the heart to say "no".
She says "Take it easy on the shots"
When a girl is advising her guy to take it easy on the shots, she is not necessarily trying to control him. She's basically saying, do what you want, but do know that there will be consequences.
She means "I'm not letting you near me if your drunk"
What she really means is that if you come home or get too drunk, i'm not interested in getting naked with you. Because, big surprise, having a slobbering drunk boyfriend all over you is not a turn on for some.
She says "That girl is cute"
When a girl compliments another girl, it's always sincere. Girls don't just give out compliments lightly. However, this doesn't mean that she doesn't feel a little jealous or threatened by another girls appearance.
She means "How does she get her eyelashes so perfect"
So what she really means is that she wants to copy her because copying someone is the highest form of compliment. Girls are always trying to keep a leg up on the competition.
She says "Let's go home soon"
The club or bar can be a overwhelming environment to be in, especially if you're not in the mood to be social or totally sober. So when a girl ins't feeling the party she'll say these innocuous words.
She means "I want to leave NOW"
What this really means, though - is that she wants to get outta there ASAP. "Soon" just means "now" but with enough time to get your coat and say rounds to say bye to the friends.
For When She Is Mad, click "NEXT"
She says “Why did you do that”
When a girl is feeling upset by something a guy did - even if it wasn't his intention to hurt - she will often be curious as to why he did it. It's always better when girls ask a guy directly, rather then run to her girlfriends to speculate.
She means"I feel hurt by what you did”
It takes an incredible amount of vulnerability to admit that something someone did hurt your feelings. So girls will often want to say that, but veil it as another question or statement. Such as the one above.
She says “You’re a jerk”
Sometimes in the heat of the moment and when enough buttons are pushed, a girl will lash out and say something mean and hurtful to a guy. Don't take this at face value, that will only escalate the situation. Look behind the anger.
She means “I feel like an idiot for feeling hurt”
Anger is just a cover up for some pretty crappy feelings like shame and sadness. When someone lashes out it's usually because they are confused and upset at their own feelings. So instead of getting defensive, sit your girl town and take the empathetic route instead.
She says “I can’t believe you did that”
Once again, even if it wasn't your intention, sometimes guys can do things to push girls buttons and walk on our boundaries. This is should actually been seen a perfect opportunity for a couple to clarify their needs and boundaries. That's how you grow closer!
She means “Tell me that you care about my feelings”
Because when a girl is telling a guy that she feels her boundaries are not being respected, what she TRULY wants to know is that the guy cares about her feelings. That he thinks about her before making a decision. If you reassure a girl in this specific way, trust me, things will go so much more smoothly.
She says “Let’s talk about this in person”
When a girl clearly expresses that she wants to take the convo "offline" into real life, this should be seen as a compliment, and a sign that she truly cares about your connection and relationship.
She means “ I care a lot about us”
Having a real heart to heart IRL is scary for anyone. So when a girl makes the time to have a tough conversation in person, you can be sure that she is fully emotionally invested in you and your partnership.
For When She Is Flirting, click "NEXT"
She says "let's binge on junk food together"
Girls don't take fast food binges lightly, this is generally a group activity with the people you feel the most comfortable with. Because chowing down a hamburger is quite a vulnerable state to be in.
She means "I think i'm in love with you"
When a girl wants to have a good old fashioned junk food binge with you, it really means that she's super into you, and wants to connect with you over her most cherished guilty pleasures.
She says "you're so sweet"
Girls will often say this when a guy says something kind and sweet about her. Usually it will be a response to a compliment. It seems a bit generic on the surface, but is actually a very good thing to hear.
She means "you make me feel weak in the knees"
This is because when a girl tells a guy she finds him sweet, it really means that his nice words make her feel all gooey on the inside. Which is a great feeling to have.
She says "you're so funny"
Girls will often compliment a guy on his joke cracking skills and/or acknowledge his sharp sense of humor and let him know that she is definitely on the same wave length as him when it comes to his brand of humor.
She means "I think you're really smart"
What she is actually doing in this case is complimenting his intelligence. As we all know there is a definite connection between how smart and how funny someone is. So pay close attention to how well you connect with someone on a humor-level. You may have just met you intellectual match!
She says "That shirt looks good on you"
When a girl gives a compliment on a superficial item like a choice of shirt or a haircut this is a type of round about way to compliment him on what he was born with. Because telling someone they are just plain beautiful can be daunting.
She means "your so frikken handsome"
Yes, when a girl wants to tell you that she thinks your handsome she might not say it in the most direct way possible, especially early on in the relationships. Rather, she will give small compliments on the things you wear or your choice of cologne.
For When She Is Hanging Out At Home, click "NEXT"
She says "i'm feeling lazy tonight"
Girls are all about staying in. We love a good night of long bubble baths and spa nights with not a care in the world to worry about. When a girl says she's lazy and wants to stay in, she might have some alternative desires though.
She means "Please give me a message"
If she's proposing a night in she may want you to treat her to a good back-rub or maybe she would like you to cook something special. Just because your staying in and chilling, doesn't mean romance has to be checked at the door.
She says "What do you want to watch"
The classic debacle, what do you watch when your sharing your TV with a special someone. This can become even more complicated if your taste are different. However, we all know, good relationships are based on compromise.
She means "let's watch Gilmore Girls"
So what she truly means is that she's asking for you to compromise. She wants to watch her favourite show, but she would love that you stay by her side. It's worth it to make your girl happy.
She says "are you cooking tonight"
Girls love a guy that can cook, but we also have our own tastes and preferences. When a girl is asking if your going to cook, that a sure way to test you as to what you plan on making for her. Girls can be picky, too.
She means "what are you cooking tonight"
She really just wants to know what your cooking, so that she can agree to it too. Because although girls do appreciate a guy who can throw down in the kitchen, we want to make sure that it's something they will enjoy too.
She says "play with my hair"
Ahh, there is nothing better than getting your hair played with while your chilling at home. It feels so romantic and cuddly, every stroke is a little mini scalp orgasm, and may arouse some other desires. Wink wink.
She means "play with my hair"
And that's why, sometimes, you can just take what girls say at face value. When a girl straight-up asks you for something, there is no ulterior motive. You don't always have to read between the lines. But knowing when to is the best skill a guy can adopt over time.