Snow—I'm sure you're sick of the topic already, since Winnipeg is literally covered in it this week. For most of us, the first snowfall is kind of romantic, but by day two it gets pretty annoying. It takes forever to get anywhere, your car gets stuck every two feet, and it's way too cold to look cute in lumpy parkas and balaclavas.

Sometimes, though, snow can be a good thing. It gives you an excuse to do things you normally wouldn't—and you don't have to feel guilty doing them because, well, snow.

1. Ordering an entire LPH pizza through Skip The Dishes.

It's just like the summer except instead of drinking too many whiskey sours at The Toad and then stumbling over to LPH you're drinking too much wine on your couch and then stumbling into the wall.

2. Eating a Jets dog at the hockey game.

Bathing suit season is long gone (but the hardened, frozen chili stains on your Scheifele jersey are here to stay #WorthIt).

3. Turning down your friends’ offers to stand in line at The Pint or The Pal on the weekend.

You can pregame all you want, but after waiting in the cold for almost an hour, you're gonna be sober as a bird. And very ready for bed.

4. Binge watching old episodes of Falcon Beach.

The most dramatic portrayal of life at a Manitoba beach circa 2006 (the series was filmed at Winnipeg Beach and only lasted 2 seasons). Doesn't sound familiar? Here's a character description taken from Wikipedia: "Tanya Shedden—She is a broke fashion model who moved back to her hometown of Falcon Beach because she was sick of modeling. She was also a drug addict (cocaine, etc.) in the first season and her relationship with town bad-boy Lane Bradshaw didn't help. Tanya got caught with marijuana and went to court and was found guilty." (OK but I lowkey kind of wish my life was this exciting in the YWG).

5. Telling everyone you meet how you wish you lived in B.C.

"The West Coast, man. I swear I'm moving there this year."—You, every single year.

6. Buying that $500 HBC parka or Canada Goose jacket.

And then feeling just as cold because your wallet is now so much lighter.

7. Spending all your money at Parlour and Bronuts.

"I've made it here in a blizzard. Might as well treat myself to a donut or six. And an extra coffee to warm me up."

8. Skipping your 1PM U of M class.

It's only 50 minutes. The slides are online. You went last week. Who knows if your bus will even show up. The exam isn't for a few more months. You did really well on your last paper. This is just a GPA booster. The bus ride there will take longer than the class itself. Is that a cold coming on? You'll study from home. Everything is fine.

9. Not washing your hair/shaving your legs/looking remotely presentable.

That's what Oak & Oar toques and long pants are for.

10. Waking up at 2pm.

How come when a bear does it it's called "hibernation", but when I do it I'm a "disgrace to the family" and "probably never going to accomplish anything"?

11. Not going to Shapes/GoodLife/Snap Fitness.

Shovelling the driveway is nature's workout—there's more sweat and tears than any weight room I've been to.

12. Being late for work downtown.

Hungover? "The snow...traffic...ppl need to learn to drive"
Slept in? "The snow...traffic...ppl need to learn to drive"
Can't get that winged liner just right on the second eye? "The snow...traffic...ppl need to learn to drive"

13. Redownloading Tinder.

Because looking out the window makes you cry and maybe Jason, 22 from Stonewall with his "Work hard, play hard(er)" bio will be able to keep you warm.
Comments are now closed.
Account Settings
Share Feedback
Log Out

Register this device to receive push notifications