Social distance is the new social life. While we like to assume everyone is aware of this, there are some people in Alberta that aren’t following the rules and because of this, a mayor wrote a letter to the people of his town, Thorsby, about the issue. The Alberta mayor's social distance letter is not what you'd typically expect from a politician, to say the least. Filled with words like “doobie,” “rectum,” and “pinhead,” you’re in for a rollercoaster of emotion. 

Alberta has started to discuss fines and penalties for anyone not following the self-isolation and social distancing mandates. 

While the health of yourself and your community might be incentive enough for you to stay home, apparently some people are still putting themselves and others at risk. 

Thorsby mayor Rod Raymon has had enough and has penned an open letter to the public and it’s as salty as it gets. 

The mayor spills some serious tea in the letter and calls out a number of community members for their rule-breaking. 

The letter was published in the local paper, the Thorsby Target. 

“Here we are, and will be for the next foreseeable future, taking steps to reduce/eliminate the spread of the virus,” starts the mayor’s letter.

He goes on to state that a number of things have surprised him including that people from outside the community are coming in to stockpile supplies and groceries.

“My first reaction was that they should stay home and buy local. I was assured that all protocols are being followed by our merchants to prevent the spread of the virus,” wrote Raymon. 

This is where it gets juicy. 

In addition to reminding people to stay six feet apart, Raymon quickly moves onto calling out the public. 

By calling one person a “pinheads,” the mayor starts putting everyone on blast including a person who came back from vacation and came into the town office without going into 14-day isolation. 

“To the other Pin Head who returned from Africa and came to buy a furnace motor; YOU risked infecting a pregnant woman!!! For the people who returned from Mexico and wandered around town; YOU are potentially are spreading the virus,” wrote the mayor. 

“What is the matter with you people? Don’t you care about anyone else but yourselves? Fortunately, no one encountering you, has shown any symptoms, yet.”

He then calls out all young people who want to have a couple of beers with friends or pass a “doobie” around. Yes, he used the word “doobie” in a public letter. 

“What the crap are you thinking? There is a very good chance, you and your friends would survive the infection, but what would you tell grandpa, that it was you, that infected grandma,” he wrote. 

Raymon follows this by telling young people to take their “heads out of [their] rectum and think about what [they]’re doing.”

To better illustrate how to stay a safe distance from one another, Raymon says to “pretend everyone you meet has just eaten a sardine, onion and garlic sandwich. If you get too close, their breath is so bad it will make your eyes water” or to “pretend their breath is so bad it would knock a buzzard off the gut wagon.”

He admits that this example may be lost on some but regardless, “wash your hands, do not touch yours or anybody else’s face: LOL.”

The mayor ends his letter on a positive note, telling everyone to stay home and help their neighbours. 

He explained that everyone should come together to help each other out. He spoke to the advantages of being in a small town in situations like these. 

Raymon told Global News that he stands by his strongly worded letter. It was also allegedly toned down before being published.  

On March 30, it was announced that Alberta saw it’s youngest COVID-19 death. The man was a husband and father in his 30s.

Alberta has seen eight deaths from COVID-19 thus far, with five of them being reported on Monday, March 30. From a federal to a municipal level, our political leaders are working to advise the public on what to do and how to stay safe. Maybe some of us need to be called pinheads every once in a while to get us in gear for optimal health and safety practices. 

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