Photo cred - thecrazygato

The dirty thirties. Turning 30 is a milestone. An accomplishment in every sense of the word.

But wait, let's not skip that far ahead just yet, there is still fun to be had. And thank god for fun. 30 can wait because according to this list there is actually a lot you need to accomplish between now and 30. And wouldn't you like to know what's up.

Gather all that 20 something year old energy you have and listen the fvck up.

Here are 30 things you need to do before you're 30 in Toronto. 

1. Become famous

If you haven’t made it by 30, give up, roll over and die.

2. Sneak onto rooftop patios

Enjoy illegal breathtaking views of the city and waterfront.

3. Get blackout drunk at Crocodile rock

Be thankful you don’t remember what happened here.

4. Go streaking

Yea maybe this is a little 2004 but it’s still a fun time, especially in Bellwoods Park.

5. Avoid going to Ryze

Once you’re over 30 you won’t get invited here anymore. Sigh of relief.

6. Eat at Poutini’s often

Your metabolism is like a ticking time bomb. Eat here as much as you can before you become old and fat.

7. Convince two hot girls to mud wrestle in bikini’s

Get away with this one before you’re old and its just creepy.

8. Snag a date with the TSD (Toronto serial dater)

Be careful there’s only one and she bites...

9. Go drunken tobogganing at Riverdale park

You can’t get away with it when you’re over 30.

10. Almost die from a pizza addiction

Before you’re 30 it’s hilarious, after 30 it becomes a serious health concern.

11. Clean everything in your apartment with Windex and think that's not a problem

Windex is multi-purpose right?

12. Walk of shame the fuck of this city

you’re only young once right?

13. Take advantage of Prohibitions happy hour on school nights aka work nights

$5 glass of wine & beer $2.50 Jager all the time, once you’re over 30 you must be in bed by 10pm (happy hour starts at 10pm bitches).

14. Go on drunken bike rides through the city

Safety is for people who are over 30.

15. Get a craft beer passport

Once you’re over 30 that beer is going straight to your belly, enjoy whilst ye can.

16. Go to Sneaky Dee’s for the last time

You can’t go here anymore, you’re just too old. Sorry guys.

17. Get excited about cheap drink specials

Before you’re 30 it just looks like you’re budgeting, after you’re 30 you just look like a cheap bastard.

18. Be a slob

This type of behaviour is excusable for now.

19. Try to convince cabs to take you to the mcdonalds drive thru at bathurst and dundas

Some will. Some won’t.

20. Drunkenly decide to edge walk

Fail the breathalyzer test and return once you’re over 30 and sober.

21. Order indian food as much as possible from lahore tikka house

Best indian food in the city, eat as much as possible while you’re young and still pretty.

22. Obnoxiously cut lines at clubs

You’re young enough to get away with it but everyone still hates you for it.

23. Enjoy your brunch at County General with a side of tequila

What is stopping the young folk from getting drunk in the mornings? Nothing!!!

24. Try every beer at beerfest

Don’t be a pussy.

25. Enjoy free samples at frozen yogurt shops

You still have that forgivable young charm to you, over 30 and you’d be kicked out of the place.

26. Enjoy your last days in the annex

Does anybody over 30 frequent this area?

27. Spend all your hard earned money on food & drink

Once you hit 30 you’ll be all into cooking and drinking less. Bleh.

28. Get into yoga

There are so many studios city wide to be taking advantage of. Start yoga now, form good habits before you’re old and decrepit.

29. Meet someone influential who can help you with your career

You still have a shot at success!

30. Go to snakes and lagers too often

Games are for children (aka people under 30)
Photo cred – borntoberespected
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