Gelatin hearts, fat cherubs everywhere, Kim Kardashian pushing her fragrance collection harder than the My Pillow guy on those late-night infomercials: Valentine's Day is right around the corner. What's this lovey-dovey holiday's equivalent to Christmastime's Grinch? Oh yeah: ME. Fortunately, there's a slew of unconventional Valentine's Day movies on Netflix for all us V-Day haters.
To be honest, I've been tired of rom coms since Kate Hudson got out of the game. Now that Matthew McConaughey is a serious actor, I'm so done with the genre. So, what's a person with the same romantic sentiments as a bottle of ranch dressing to do? These unconventional Valentine's Day movies on Netflix are a good place to start.
If you think dating in the modern world is tough, just imagine how much harder it would be in the zombie apocalypse. Columbus, played by Jessie Eisenberg, is simply trying to survive when he meets Witchita, played by Emma Stone. Are those sparks flying or zombie brains?
Some unfortunate life events have left John Wick, played by Keanu Reeves, a sad, sad man. But at least, he has his puppy! What love is purer than that between a human and his dog? But then, Theon Greyjoy from Game of Thrones has to go in and ruin everything. A little revenge should pair well with your candy hearts.
Patriotism! Love for your country and whatnot! In Outlaw King, sexy warrior Robert the Bruce, played by sexy actor Chris Pine, is banished from his native Scotland. Rather than call it a day, he forms a band of outlaws to help him reclaim the throne.
Ever want to try something new in the bedroom but not sure how to approach it with your partner? Gerald's Game should boost your kink confidence because all you have to do is NOT kill your lover and you're doing better than Jessie, played by Carla Gugino. When her husband dies, Jessie is left handcuffed to the bed without much hope of being rescued. Ugh, don't you hate it when that happens?
There's a lot I would do for my boyfriend; however, I think I'd draw the line at dinner with his ex-wife. But, in The Invitation, Will, played by Logan Marshall-Green, talks his girlfriend into doing just that. Like you'd imagine, it's super awkward and also a little (okay, A LOT) sinister.
Who among us couldn't use a little more Jake Gyllenhaal in their life? Velvet Buzzsaw's Morf Vanderwalt is totally neurotic and totally hawt. This supernatural horror film gives us a nearly naked Gyllenhaal with only his MacBook leaving something to our imaginations. Just a typical work from home outfit! Velvet Buzzsaw will make you think twice about that Valentine's Day date to the art museum.