10 Things Not To Do When You're Newly Single
Post breakup life tips.
Relationships are an amazing part of life and everyone should experience meeting someone and falling in love. But another, very real, part of life is breakups. You meet that person, you fall in love but most likely you'll run into some problems that tear you two apart.
Breaking up is usually a terrible experience that results in lots of empty tubs of ice cream, quite a few boxes of tissues and probably more than one bottle of wine. But once that stage is over, you can start to embrace your newly single status, and trust me, you're going to love it.
People hate on being single because yes, having someone special in your life is amazing, but they're missing out on all the amazing parts of being on their own as well. If you're newly single, it's time to get out there and have some fun, but there are some things you should definitely avoid as well.
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Dramatically Change Your Appearance
If dying your hair bright green or getting a pixie cut has been something you've really, truly been wanting to do then by all means go for it! But you shouldn't go into a hair dresser wanting to get rid of your long locks because your ex loved them or dying them green because you knew they hated that colour. Make a big decision because YOU want to and not because you're looking to get revenge.
Treat Yourself To A Massage Or Spa Treatment
There's something that's just so good about pampering yourself at the spa, but when you're newly single it's even better! Book a truly indulgent spa experience, something you wouldn't normally choose because it may be a bit pricey, and let yourself completely relax. You'll feel much better after you've been doted on for a few hours.
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Avoid Mutual Places
So you both loved the coffee shop down the block, the local bakery for your Sunday breakfast, or that restaurant that serves the most amazing pasta dish, don't avoid them just because you're afraid of running into your ex.
Remember that you're going to run into them eventually, even if you put in all that extra effort to avoid them, so why even try? Don't deny yourself the simple pleasures of eating a flaky croissant on Sundays, drinking a perfectly brewed coffee in the mornings or treating yourself to your favourite dinner out!
Visit A New City With Your Best Friend
So, you and your bestie have never explored New York City, Toronto, Chicago, or any number of major cities near you? Then pitch her a trip idea with the budget all worked out, whether it's just for a weekend or for a whole week, and get exploring! Travelling makes you feel better instantly and getting out of the city where your ex is also living will give you some much-needed perspective.
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Hook Up With Random People
So you met someone at the bar that's completely opposite of your ex in every way, you might think hooking up with this person is a good way to get revenge. You definitely shouldn't do this because chances are you'll regret it later. Unless you're the type of person that needs to hook up with new people to get over someone, it's probably not a good idea to sleep with someone purely out of revenge.
Go Out And Flirt With New People
Grab your single girlfriends and head to the coolest bar because it's time to start flirting! Even if this means just talking to someone new, connecting deeper with people you normally wouldn't or asking friends questions about themselves, the point is to get out there and start cultivating new relationships. It will make you feel more positive and maybe you'll meet someone that you actually really like.
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Avoid Mutual Friends With Your Ex
If you and your ex have mutual friends, it might be your first instinct to avoid them after your breakup because you don't want them to see you upset and tell your ex. It makes sense because they're definitely going to tell your ex how you are, but take this as an opportunity to show them how good you're doing instead! Even if it is just a farce, that's okay.
Reconnect With Old Friends
Sometimes when you're in a relationship you can let friendships fall through the cracks because you just didn't have the time to cultivate them. It sucks to let good friendships go, but now that you're single again it's the perfect time to call up that friend and ask them to catch up over coffee. You'd be surprised how connected you still feel after a few years!
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Take Up Drinking Like It's Your Job
Sure, going out to bars, drinking and meeting new people is the fun part of being single but there's always that saying 'everything in moderation'. You don't want it to get too out of control that you're drinking because it makes you feel better about being single or helps you forget your ex.
Join A Workout Class You Enjoy
Whether you enjoy spin classes, pumping iron at the gym or something unique like a zumba class, now is the time to really get into it. Exercise is known to release endorphins to make you feel happier and you'll be getting fit at the same time! Who knows, you could meet someone there that has similar interests as you do.
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Reflect On All The Good Times
It's easy to look back on your relationship when you're feeling a little bit lonely, and remember all the good times you had with that person. This is so true when you've moved on from a relationship because of course you're going to look back and focus on all the good times but you probably won't choose to remember all the bad ones.
Thinking about things you should have/could have changed and trying to remember when you were happy won't help you move forward.
Find Some New Music And Delete The Old
We all know how powerful music can be, especially when we're dealing with a lot of difficult emotions. Music can help express the feelings that we have inside and maybe even help us work through it in some ways. But once you're through that 'fresh breakup' stage you're going to want to get rid of all those sappy, sad songs that helped you wallow and find new music that doesn't bring up those unhappy feelings anymore.
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Start Slacking At Work
Some days you'll feel a little down, but that's just life isn't it? Even if you were still in a relationship you'd probably be having those days where you don't feel 100% yourself, so it's really not that different now that you're single. What I'm trying to say is this definitely isn't the time to slack at work. Take pride in your career and focus on succeeding in it. Don't let those rocky days hold you back from your goals.
Exactly What You Want, Whenever You Want
If you feel like spending your entire weekend in bed watching Netflix, eating loads of junk food and drinking wine, go for it! If you feel like totally unplugging for the day and not answering any calls/texts, go for it! This is the time to do exactly what you want to do and not feel guilty about any of it.
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Put Mutual Dreams On Hold
If you were in a relationship for a while chances are you had lots of time to discuss and plan your dreams for the future where you two would end up together. You might want to scrap these dreams altogether now that the relationship has ended but you definitely shouldn't! Take your half of the dream and start making it happen.
Take Yourself On A Shopping Spree And Buy At Least 1 New Outfit
Shopping can be very therapeutic, but what's even better is buying the perfect new outfit and feeling super confident in it. New clothes can really make you feel like you're a new you, which can be beneficial when you're newly single. Buy yourself at least 1 new outfit that makes you feel gorgeous!
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Force Yourself To Have Casual Sex
A lot of people use casual sex to get over a relationship, and while it works well for some people, it might not work for you. You need to make sure you're in the right mindset before jumping into bed with someone or you can end up getting hurt. If you think you're capable of sleeping with someone and not feeling any emotions or getting attached, then go for it, if not that's totally okay.
Take A Class And Discover A New Hobby
This could be a pottering class, painting class, dance class, photography class or literally anything that you think that you might enjoy. Maybe you quit after a few classes or maybe you find something that could become a lifelong hobby. Either way, you got out there and tried something new!
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Show Off How Happy You Are On Social Media
Social media is such a tricky thing, because you're basically showing off all the best parts of your life and hiding all the real stuff. It's easy right after a breakup happens to show off to everyone how happy you are, but chances are it's not actually reality.
EVERYONE has been through a breakup in their life so we all know how hard it really is, there's no reason to put all that pressure on yourself to look happy when you really aren't, we all understand. But if you want to post cute pictures from one of your bucket list restaurants above, don't hold back!
Make A Bucket List Of Restaurants And Bars You Want To Try
It can be really easy when you've just gone through a breakup to feel more comfortable staying home and shutting yourself in. That's totally okay for some nights but it will definitely make you feel better to get out and try new things too.
So make a list of all the cute restaurants/bars you want to try in your area and start checking them off! Do this with dates or with friends and you'll start feeling better in no time.