Ah, Fall, the time of pumpkin spice lattes, denim jackets and cringey Halloween costumes courtesy of our favourite neighbourhood fuck boys. Seriously though, I don't know what it is about Halloween but it seems to be the one holiday that gives girls across the globe second-hand embarrassment for the fuckboys they hate to love.
Maybe it has something to do with the fact that fuckboys don't seem to be able to put in the bare minimum when it comes to a text conversation, let alone muster up the effort to put together a costume that simultaneously is clever, non-offensive, and/or well done. Whether they pull up in a basic costume thinking they've hit the nail on the head or are leaving you wondering if they even pretended to try, these 11 costumes are guaranteed to be worn all over the world by fuckboys young and old!
1. Hugh Hefner
This costume is going to be everywhere this year, and bonus points to the guys who are able to convince some girls to dress as bunnies to go along with his costume (by bonus points I mean thanks for at least putting in some effort, considering this costume is about as creative as a piece of driftwood). The only thing more predictable than this costume is how the guys who end up wearing it will think they can pass off their pervy behavior as "getting into character" ew.
Halloween would be a better holiday if all of the gynaecologist costumes in party stores across the globe simultaneously disappeared into thin air. Seriously, I've never met an un-creepy guy wearing this costume and I probably shouldn't be surprised considering the fact that they made the conscious decision to actually go out and buy a gynaecologist costume for Halloween.
3. *Insert offensive/ insensitive costume*
No Chad, just because Kanye West is your favourite rapper and you blew money on Yeezys that ended up being knockoffs does not mean you can pull a watered down blackface this Halloween season.
4. Netflix and Chill
The only thing fuckboys are better at than ghosting is using a joke at least 2 years too late. Guaranteed there's going to be an onslaught of frat boys pulling up in their Netflix and Chill outfits completely under the impression that the blog post they saw on Total Frat Move about the costume this year was the first time the concept had ever made an appearance on social media.
5. Donald Trump
If there's one thing people should probably avoid this Halloween season is any costume related to the touchy subject that is American politics- but of course, when the general population comes to an understanding on something, fuckboys love to go against the grain. Unfortunately this Halloween you are probably going to witness a good amount of aloof frat boys yelling "build the wall" all night.
6. Hillary Clinton
This one isn't as controversial considering Hillary isn't
currently self-destructing the United States president. I will say though I'd be thoroughly impressed if a typical frat boy was able to keep an entire pantsuit on for the entire night.
I don't know about you but I am terrified of everything and anything and the thought of people dressed up as that creepy dancing clown has me considering just locking myself in my room and watching Netflix all weekend instead of partying. Though there is something comforting about the fact that it's practically confirmed that none of these fuckboys are getting laid considering I've never heard a girl talk about her appreciation for a guy in a good creepy clown suit.
8. A sports jersey
Ah, the "I didn't try, I'm not even going to pretend like I attempted to try" costume. Common hobbies? Watching sports, and that's about it. Common personality traits? They think mayo is spicy.
I don't understand why Ron Burgundy continues to stand the test of time when it comes to celebrity costumes. The movie literally came out in 2004 and it's still one of the most consistent costumes for guys every Halloween. I mean kudos to the dedication I guess?
10. A 'basic white girl'
This costume was funny the first time it was done literally four years ago, can we please accept now that it's neither original or even that clever? Please put your little sister's UGGs and the ratty blonde wig away and FIO.
11. Someone from Stranger Things
I have nothing bad to say about this costume unless you are acting like a complete perv while wearing a costume that's supposed to portray Will, Mike, Dustin or Lucas. You do not get to ruin those characters for anyone, especially on Halloween.