If there's one thing Canadians love more than anything (except hockey, of course) it's hating on Tim Hortons. Whether it's the fact that they went American, the way the company treats franchisees, or just the declining quality of their food, Canadians can always find something bad to say about the coffee chain.
As it turns out, even when Tims tries to do something good, like raise money for local charities through their annual smile cookies campaign, Canadians still can't show them some love.
TL;DR The Tim Hortons "Smile Cookie" campaign is a wonderful charitable effort. But sometimes it doesn't go exactly as planned. This is a list of the most messed up smile cookies.
This week, Tim Hortons is selling their iconic smile cookies - chocolate chip with a pink and blue smiley face on them - for $1 each, with all the proceeds going to various charities across the country. The long list of charities includes children's programs, breakfast clubs and food banks, hospitals, resource centres, libraries, and mental health organizations.
The smile cookie initiative is truly a great cause, especially since 100% of the proceeds go towards supporting local communities in need. But, that isn't stopping Canadians from pointing out how terribly Tims has done with the actual cookie design this year.
In theory, it should be simple. Two blue icing circles for eyes and a simple, curved pink line for a smile. You don't have to be Leonardo Da Vinci or the next great baker to nail this design, but somehow the cookies almost always come out looking like a Picasso piece instead.
The smeared, sad, and creepy looking cookies are getting a lot of shares on social media. People are taking to Twitter, Instagram and pretty much any platform they can find to share their pictures of their smile cookie fails.
Got mine today in Dryden, Ont pic.twitter.com/poF6AEeTgn— Lorraine Nault (@lkeesick) September 17, 2018
What makes matters worse is seeing the marketing images used by Tim Hortons which show picture-perfect cookies with clean, crisp, and friendly smiles and then seeing the scary and sad-looking faces on the cookies behind the glass at the restaurants.
Obviously, Tim Hortons is going to use the best possible version of the cookies in their ads and promos. But, the side-by-side comparison of their airbrushed version and reality makes it look like the ultimate Pinterest fail.
One video posted to Twitter even gives us an insight into how the cookies get their "faces". The video shows a Tim Hortons employee using a squeeze bottle to give an entire tray of cookies big blue eyes. After seeing this, we now have an explanation for why they turn out so terribly.
For starters, it's not necessarily a skilled cookie artist decorating these cookies, but rather an employee who to their credit is doing their best. They're probably also in a rush to get the cookies done and get to work on the million other things fast food workers have to do.
But, what makes even more sense as to why the cookies come out terribly is the squeeze bottle. If you've ever tried to use a ketchup or mustard bottle, essentially the same thing as in the video, to get that perfect wavy condiment line you know the struggle can be real.
The cookies themselves aren't the only thing people are coming after, though. In an attempt to be cool and promote their smile cookies, Tim Hortons' shared a photo on their Twitter of a special addition cookie in the shape of Canadian DJ DeadMau5.
Nothing against DeadMau5, but since this tweet from Tim's is the first we are really hearing about him recently, this is basically the equivalent of your parents using slang from 2007 and thinking it's cool.
So aside from bashing the smile cookie fails, Canadians are now also hilariously ripping into Tim Hortons for their thinly veiled attempt to be relevant and cool.
This is what you look like rn pic.twitter.com/ERf68DENjk— Brendan 📖 (@beardsational) 17 September 2018
What a sad desperate attempt at staying relevant. I cant wait for your FAKE Canadian brand to die off with the only customers you have: elderly retired people.— Brent (@BasicallyBrentt) 18 September 2018
Your crappy marketing, underpaid staff, and cheap products will be the death of you.
Whether you love it or hate it, the smile cookies are only around for a limited time, until September 23rd. So if you want to support a good cause, enjoy a cookie, or just share your very own smile cookie fail online, head to your neighbourhood Tim's this week.
A Tim Hortons spokesperson responded to this article by re-emphasizing the positive impact the program has for charities across Canada:
"Through the Smile Cookie program we have been able to raise millions of dollars each year in support of charities, helping those who need it most from coast-to-coast. Every year, guests look forward to the freshly baked cookies made by hard working team members, which is why no two are the same. Since 1996, this program has grown to support more than 500 charities and organizations in Canada and we are incredibly proud and deeply appreciative of what our restaurant owners and guests have been able to accomplish together."