Food rules in Ottawa are taken very seriously.
And you should not break them. Seriously, it's a sin.
Just kidding, but most Ottawan's already know that you look like a tourist if you get any other BeaverTail than the cinnamon & sugar one. And you just don't eat at the Rideau Street McDonald's during the day. Are we even sure it's open then? (I know it is, but c'mon).
Committing any of these food crimes risks in your friends making fun of you, especially via a tweet and we don't want that. So practice and preach these rules and you'll be fine.
1. Thou Shall Not Pretend Like The Cinnamon & Sugar BeaverTail Isn't Thy Best One
Just because there are other options doesn't mean you should try them. That was dramatic, but if it ain't broke, don't fix it. The cinnamon & sugar one is obviously the best and just because we're Canadian doesn't mean we have to put maple syrup on everything.
2. Thou Shall Not Compare Shawarma In Ottawa To Shawarma In Any Other City
Whether you want to believe it or not, the Shawarma capital of Canada is Ottawa. It just doesn't even compare. We know what we're doing and we'll prove you wrong. If you don't believe me, check out all the best places here.
3. Thou Shall Not Eat Thy Food On Thy OC Transpo
I mean, do I even need to explain this? This is basically an unwritten rule that will result in dirty looks and people moving seats. It's a great meal elsewhere, but please don't eat curry or fish on the bus. An apple is fine, but let's keep it on the down low.
4. Thou Shall Not Choose New York Fries Over Chip Wagon Poutine
"My favourite poutine is from New York Fries". Get the f*ck out. You've clearly never tried the bomb AF chip wagons we have here in Ottawa. You can find them literally anywhere scattered across the city, so treat yourself and you won't regret it.
5. Thou Shall Not Eat At Rideau Street McDonald's During Thy Day
Yes, it's a nice looking and 'classy' McDonald's. However, it's also an unwritten rule that you can't enter unless you're blackout drunk. Just kidding, but do you really want to see what it looks like during the day? Probably not.
6. Thou Shall Not Enter Zak's Diner Sober
Okay, yes, they have great breakfast. But you'll love the food even more when you're very intoxicated. The greasy but great food acts as a coat for your stomach as well (that's what I hear), so your hangover is less brutal the next day. If you're drunk and eat greasy food, you won't hate yourself as much as if you're sober. I promise.
7. Thou Shall Give 3 Obama Cookies To The President Of The United States
However, do we stop calling them Obama cookies? I think we all refuse to call them Trump cookies. That's all.
8. Thou Shall Drink Local Brew
I know that Starbucks holiday drinks or seasonal drinks are unreal, but you know what's even better? Supporting local coffee shops. Not only do you get a taste of what real coffee is, but you get amazing latte art as well as a cute date with your BFF.
9. Thou Shall Pace Thyself At Tucker's Marketplace
You pay for what you get, and at Tucker's Marketplace, that could be a stomach ache. The food is so delicious you want it all and you want it all on your first plate. However, the food isn't going anywhere and you don't have to either. So pace yourself and always leave room for the chocolate fountain.
10. Thou Shall Always Leave Room For A Sweet Treat
The dessert scene in Ottawa is huge, and there is always room for dessert. Whether it's a cupcake, a lemon tart or ice cream, you know you want all of them. We have unreal gelato here in Ottawa which is the best treat for all year round. After walking around after dinner in the ByWard Market, don't tell me you're not tempted to get dessert. Do it.
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