9 Reasons Why He Hasn’t Called You Back After Your First Date (From A Guy’s Perspective)
It's been about two days. You're lying bed, hitting the home screen button on your phone even though you know you didn't hear it vibrate. He hasn't texted you back after that great first date and you're probably wondering, "What did I do wrong?"
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In a world where finding a date nowadays is as easy as swiping right and left, men still remain as complicated as they've ever been. Your first instinct is probably that he's probably not interested in you, but that's not entirely true. Ghosting isn't black and white, and us guys may just be as confused as you are about the situation - maybe, even more.
You're probably thinking of a ton of different scenarios and reasons right now, but here's nine common reasons from a guy's perspective that will help narrow things down. Looking for a girl's perspective? Check out the link here.
He's shy and probably assumes you don't like him
The fear of rejection is crippling - especially for a guy. Even if you thought the first date went well, he may have gotten the impression that you just weren't into him. With the societal expectation that we're supposed to take the initiative for dating, we often won't risk asking you out again if we assumed you weren't interested. It's an ego thing, and also a communication breakdown. So, in this case and if he's shy, he may be waiting for you to make the first move, even though it may not be the most mature thing to do. I'm still waiting on a text from high school.
He might have thought he was ready for commitment and choked
He entered the date thinking he was ready for a relationship but realized that was anything but true. He may have just went through a bad breakupor is focussing his priorities elsewhere, like his career. Or maybe his intentions for dating were just awry from the get go. He may have been using you as a distraction for getting over his ex and didn't even notice. A friend of mine told me that he went on a "rebound date" after a relationship and that he felt guilty the whole time because he thought he was betraying his ex. It happens and it's better he realizes that now rather than after leading you on.
He's playing hard to get and is waiting for the right moment
Oh, yes - we play this game, too. Your date may have come off as confident, but we too Google and ask our friends for dating advice on the daily. He might have read something on Yahoo Answers that told him that calling you after a first date will come off as clingy if you do it too soon. This guy, if he's interested in you, is just waiting 24-48 hours to text you. Dating's fun, isn't it?
He's seeing someone else (or multiple people at once)
Chances are you're not the only one he's talking to. Guys on Tinder always have multiple matches and even have a rep for swiping right for anybody. Guilty as charged. He might still be playing the field and dating other people. You never know - he may have even had a date on the same day as yours.
He might actually be busy and may have forgot to call back
No, really. Think about the previous conversations you've had with him. What's his work-life balance like? Does he work the 9-5 or spend a lot of time with his family? Has he been on social media much since you last saw him? I used to work at Starbucks and really had no time to check my phone at work - I even had weird hours. He may just be fulfilling other commitments in the meantime. That being said, shooting a text isn't the most time-consuming thing in the world.
The first date may not have actually gone that well
Think back on what he was doing during the date. Did he seem disinterested? If he was texting or replying to you in simple sentences, he may have actually been bored.
He's crippled by nerves and doesn't know what to say
If you didn't set up plans for a second date after the first date, you're both in a rut. He simply doesn't know what step to take now and there's a lot of pressure to make that next move. He may actually just be nervous to say something stupid even if you clicked. He still values a potential relationship with you, but he's scared to do pretty much anything because he's so afraid to lose it.
He has different expectations for dating
He might just be into casual dating and thought that you were looking for something more serious. It could have been vice versa, too. Either way, the potential relationship is moving at a speed that he's not comfortable with, so he's backed off.
To be blunt: He's just not that into you
You just didn't click. It's probably not the reason you want to be reading about,but that's just dating. First impressions mean a lot and he may have felt that you two just didn't have chemistry. Don't be too hard on yourself and move on.
