The term fuck boy has been tossed around a lot in the past couple of years. Odds are you know one, you've dated one, or you might be in love with one right now. So what is a fuck boy? Well according to Lexicon Valley, "a fuckboy is a man who wants a girlfriend without the responsibilities [of actually having one]. They say it's not really a dating style but more so a way of life.
Sounds like a keeper, huh?
So the question is, why on earth would anyone want to intentionally date a guy like this? Well for a girl like myself who right now is more interested in becoming a CEO rather than a wife (not that you can't do both!), a fuck boy is actually just the type of guy I need in my life right now.
At the very end of the day, a fuck boy can be a fantastic companion for all the reasons that make them appealing to begin with. Most of these guys are charming, fun, and generally know how to have a good time. No, I'm not looking to turn a fuck boy into a keeper and no I don't have any delusions that we'll fall in love with one another and gallop off into the sunset. However, I do know that most fuck boys will put up with a bunch of shit from me because frankly they just don't give a fuck.
First off, most fuck boys are kind of shady when it comes to responding or texting back during prime daylight hours. And you know what, that's perfectly okay with me! I'm busy from 9 am - 9 pm as it is, and by the time they get around to texting me I'm finally free enough to actually have a conversation with them. Then if they do somehow emerge from wherever they go in the waking hours and text me during the day I NEVER feel guilty about reading his message, getting busy at work, and forgetting to respond.
Fuck boys are known to just disappear for days without you hearing from them, and then just like that they resurface again and offer no explanation about where they went. It's fucking rude, right? But I am known to do the same thing. In working multiple jobs, spending time with friends and family, and generally just trying to take care of myself (self-care is an important thing) - I've been known to go off the grid too. So who am I to get mad at a guy who just falls off the face of the earth?
If you've dated a fuck boy you are probably used to hearing phrases like, "keep me posted" and, "let's stay in touch" when you invite him to come out or try and make plans. Some people might hate that non-committal response but I love the flexibility it gives me when setting up dates (or hangouts). If I had a bad day at work, am tired, or just don't feel like throwing on makeup and heels then I feel no obligation to keep my plans. I would NEVER just bail on my friends, family members or someone I was actually in a relationship with- but with a fuck boy, it's just not that serious.
At the end of the day, a fuck boy generally won't introduce you to his friends, bring you home to mom, post cute pics of the two of you together, or worry about things like DTR or long term plans. If those are things you are actually looking for then run far, far away from this guy but frankly, these are all qualities I think are a plus.
I am I have no idea what my future holds, where I am going or want to be, so I'm not going to get into a serious relationship with someone and potentially lead them on or break their heart when or if I decide to travel the world, take a job that has me in and out of the city, or say no to opportunities that might not sit well with a significant other. I'm in a selfish phase of life right now and I'm not going to apologize for it.
To me, it's about knowing who you are, what you want, and being honest in what you're able to offer. I know at this point in life I have no business getting into something serious when I'm in such a transitional point of life, BUT I am human and want to go out and date, have fun, and hang out with guys who know the score so exclusively dating fuck boys are a way to have my cake and eat it too.
Maybe to you this doesn't make any sense or maybe you think I'm totally crazy but hey, it works for me.